Bris Bristofferson
@killakow
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if you think these tweets are bad, imagine living with them stuck inside your head
those clowns in congress
Joined February 2010
Watching Training Day for the first time. Denzel Washington is guilty of gaslighting!
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In the last seven days, we shipped six new features. Here's a quick recap of what we launched 👇
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Eliot, you are one of my favorite reporters to ever cover/watch/be a fan of. I've never seen anyone come into Philadelphia & leave a large, positive impression on the fanbase as quickly as you did. I am truly grateful for everything you give on & off the field. Thank you forever
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12 years ago today, Lou Bega offered his condolences to Lou Reed
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One simple swap you need to make for a better breakfast:
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You know the joke you told your wife was a big hit when she asks “what was the joke?”
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HOT TAKE: This Simpsons season is one of the BEST seasons in a LONG TIME but everyone loves hating... 🥲
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Rorschach: “The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout ‘Save us!’...and I’ll look down and whisper ‘No.’” Subway Takes Guy: “100% disagree”
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Nephew Kyle committing avuncular homicide in broad daylight
BREAKING: Sir Rudy & Kyle are leaving The Ringer and going with Russillo to his new venture
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Loudest shows of my life: 3. My Bloody Valentine in London, 2013 2. Dinosaur Jr. in a club in State College, PA, 2008 1. My eight week old son screaming while I changed his diaper, 5 minutes ago
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This reminds me of the actor Christopher Hewett, who sustained a testicular injury on the set of Mr. Belvedere and was back acting within a couple of days
My client Charley Hughlett of the Philadelphia Eagles (14-year vet long snapper) sustained a core injury and had successful surgery yesterday and will be back playing within a couple of months.
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“Surgery went well according to his doctors, per his agent” is master level construction
Tyreek Hill’s surgery is now complete and “went very well according to his doctors”, per the receiver’s agent Drew Rosenhaus, who added another surgery will not be needed. “It’s about rehab and he will play next season. The realistic goal is the start of the season.”
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Save up to 60 % OFF on Web3 Domains! + free .coms using code SAVEBIG. This is it. The biggest domain sale we’ve ever done.
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You heard of Kris Kristoffedness?
Nurse says he spent his summer feeling a lot of "pissed off-edness." "The solution to a problem is hard work, getting to work."
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They should make a movie theater where you can watch One Battle After Another with your six week old newborn and pause it whenever you need to and not leave the house. But also still on a 20 foot screen
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New Geese album the best goose-related performance since this
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New today: What We Saw, Why It Happened and What Comes Next. Link in Bio.
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