Idea for a horror film: The Clowning

These huge glasses have a clowning effect.

____ Wednesday

I feel like Wednesday is insufficiently branded. Here’s one for the fellas: Wacky Wednesday

A Jaws/Alien crossover: In space no one can hear you…ARRRRGGGGHHHHHSHIT, HOW DID THAT SHARK GET TO SPACE?!!

The mouth of Sauron.

‘Confidence’ is the latest buzzword to rationalize narcissism.

A Tuesday without tacos is also like a Tuesday without titties.

I tipped the algorithm a few bucks to give me more exposure.

The Olympic Games are brutal. One-sided hockey, roided out curlers, and they can’t even afford desks for the anchors.

I hate how the Olympic hosts are all standing up. Get them a fucking desk, for crying out loud.

A cat and dog sitting next to each other in the living room as their master has just left for work. Dog: Do you think she’ll ever come back? Cat: Who are you talking about?

Valentine’s Day, schmalintine’s day, I’m NOT watching Fried Green Tomatoes.

The Valentine’s Day angst is palpable.

Sarcasm without humor is just an excuse to be a prick.

Sometimes my eczema gets me down but thanks to Skyrizzi I can have relief. [announcer voice] Side effects may include death.

Watching Slapshot until the NHL season resumes.

I just gave myself a Melvin.

All of this handwringing because Bad Bunny didn’t sing in English. Did these dullards even bother listening to the music? If they did, they might’ve noticed a deepness that transcends language. There is no bottom to the soullessness of these people.

I wish I had one of those unisex names like, Blabogrout.