Rules for Engagement.
⁃My goal is to educate about the nature of and tactics used by those of ‘dark personality’, increasing international awareness and reducing harm.
⁃Most people who engage with my posts are respectful and well-intentioned.
⁃Abusive, rude, derisive,
Dark personality (including psychopaths, narcissists, coercive controllers) believe they are superior to others. They have brain anomalies of the amygdala and pre-frontal cortex which means they do not emote. They see emotional responses and those who experience emotions as weak.
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers are extremely effective at convincing their family, children, friends, colleagues, bosses that their innocent target is ‘bad’. They do this by profound and convincing lying, provoking their targets in front of others, accusing the
Do people of dark personality (psychopaths,narcissists, coercive controllers) target their victims or are they randomly chosen?
My PhD data indicates victims are targeted. Dark personality target people who are; less likely to see the bad in people, more easily manipulated,
Tragically for many mothers, the day they give birth is the day they enter a life of abuse. Narcissistic/psychopathic men often wait until a legally binding event - marriage, parenthood - to start their mental, emotional, physical, sexual abuse. Prior to that they shower their
Red flags for narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers:
1. Lengthy staring - N/p/cc do not experience discomfort in the same way others do so they use staring as an influencing tactic. This could be eye staring or following you around a room.
2. Watching your hands as you
‘It takes 2 to tango’ - wrong!!! A psychopath/narcissist/coercive controller will make a situation look like 2 people fighting. In reality, the p/n/cc is doing all the attacking, demeaning, harming, provoking. The target is trying to avoid being harmed and occasionally lashing
These facts are almost impossible for people to accept because they are so shocking….
1. Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers do not have the capacity to love their own children.
2. N/p/cc have prefrontal cortex and amygdala brain anomalies which means they don’t have
My PhD data indicates that narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers who harm emotionally, mentally, financially, reputationally are equally as committed to destruction of their target as those who are murderers. They just have better impulse control capability, higher
I am concerned the discussion on strategies to address family violence in Australia over the past week has not distinguished between 2 very different groups of abusers that kill women. Each group needs a very different approach in order to prevent violence.
Group 1 are fuelled
Thousands of academics are studying psychopaths/narcissists but we are no closer to having clarity about their attributes than we were decades ago. Why? Key academics are themselves high functioning psychopaths/narcissists. They have actively misled the general public regarding
Interesting fact: psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers LOVE to copy other people. This includes stealing others’ ideas, taking credit for others’ work, copying other people’s clothing, adopting other people’s accents. They do this for several reasons. They have no moral
Dark personalities (DP), including narcissists, psychopaths, coercive controllers, are drawn to academia. In academia there is limited accountability. They get to drive the narrative through the research they engage in and the way they choose to interpret it. This allows them to
It is usually impossible to set boundaries with a narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller/dark personality. They see boundary setting as a provocation, a challenge to their control. They will punish the boundary setter by doing something exceptionally hurtful.
Repost…
‘It takes 2 to tango’ - wrong!! A psychopath/narcissist/coercive controller will make a situation look like 2 people fighting. In reality, the p/n/cc is doing all the attacking, demeaning, harming, provoking. The target is trying to avoid being harmed and occasionally
The ‘death stare’ of the narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller is chilling!
Whether the predator is an imprisoned serial killer, a board director, a psychologist or a full-time parent, all predators have the same reaction when they experience being deeply challenged. Their
One of the key tactics of a narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller is ISOLATION of their target. Isolation is achieved through spreading exceptionally convincing, shocking rumours about the target so people pull away; moving their target to a different country; making it
Do narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers love their children? Short answer: No!
The pre-frontal cortex and amygdala of their brains are wired differently.
The higher functioning psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers outside the justice system who are company
EVERYTHING done and said by higher functioning people of dark personality (psychopaths, narcissists, coercive controllers) is done with intent. Marriage, jobs, friendships, community roles, outwardly public behaviours, all designed to further the agendas of the dark personality
My PhD data indicates as high as 10% of the population could be narcissists/psychopaths/
coercive controllers/‘dark personality’.
Think about that next time you are in a room with 9 other people.
If someone is telling you about abuse they have suffered at the hands of a narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller, don’t expect it to sound believable. This is a CRUCIAL point in protecting people from harm.
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers do a lot of bizarre
People often ask me about the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath. My PhD data indicates that narcissists, psychopaths and Machiavellians are all subsets of one overarching dark personality type. This personality type is supremely self focused, manipulative, sadistic,
@albericie
@RNBreakfast
As an international advisor in corporate culture change for 30 years, it is my universal experience that the culture of an organisation is created by it’s leader. Allowing Maguire to complete the 2021 year would be more of the same complacency that created the current culture.
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers gravitate to populations that are vulnerable.
They are predators, exploiters, without empathy or morality.
Many are smart though so they assume disguises such as ‘professor’, ‘doctor’, ‘psychologist’ or ‘charity worker’.
I guarantee
Predatory personality, including the sub-groupings of narcissism, psychopathy, coercive controllers, Machiavellians, have pre-frontal cortex and amygdala brain anomalies. They do not emote like other people. Their inner worlds are completely different. Their key driver is
Do psychopaths/narcissists offer value to society? How about the high functioning ones in areas, such as surgery, law, the military, psychology, commerce?
The simple answer to this question is no. The harm that they cause outweighs any contribution they might make to society.
Interesting fact: when psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers are thwarted in achieving an important goal or threatened with exposure, victims describe their eyes turning black. Their rage is a powerful pathological response, rather than normal anger. It is extremely
If someone is telling you about abuse they have suffered at the hands of a narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller, don’t expect it to sound believable. This is a CRUCIAL point in protecting people from harm.
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers do a lot of bizarre
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers have the SAME ATTRIBUTES and use the
SAME TACTICS in workplaces, families, cults, religion, politics…
They groom many to think they are a ‘normal’, good person, often doing kind acts and saying compelling things.
At the same time
The narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller has
2 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SIDES!
If you are not being targeted, do not expect to see what the target sees!
You will see only the facade, the contrived persona. This maybe kind, maybe generous, maybe helpful, maybe strong, maybe
Interesting fact: narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers have a very limited emotional world, due to pre-frontal cortex and amygdala brain anomalies. They often look at people’s hand movements during conversation to gauge how passionately someone feels about a subject.
Most narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers are extreme and persistent in the pursuit of their victims. Even where they have demanding jobs and full lives, the time, energy and thought they put into tracking, disadvantaging, demeaning and harming their victim is profound.
‘Stalking’ by a narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller has a specific purpose: CONTROL and destruction. Stalking is better described as Uber-reconnaissance! The attention to gathering information goes WAY outside the realms of what people would believe. They simply MUST know
Reposting…
All higher functioning psychopaths/narcissists have what I refer to as a ‘partner henchman’. The partner henchman (PH) is groomed by the psychopath/narcissist to be so supremely grateful to the psychopath/narcissist for opportunities they have offered them and so
People of Dark Personality (psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers) must create personas or masks to hide their lack of true character. Their ability to ‘blend in’ and remain unexposed depends to a degree on how masterful they are at creating and maintaining their
The key characteristics of narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers that emerged in my data were:
1. Dangerous, with the propensity to cause great harm in others.
2. Driven by control, power dominance.
3. Lies and deceives.
4. Intensely focussed on managing their public
Why do I mix narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers together?
My data, the first collected from many fields as well as from practitioners working with those outside of prison, indicates early researchers who conceived psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism were
Is it possible to ‘cure’ a psychopath/narcissist/coercive controller? Simple answer - No!
Academic research, my PhD data and discussions with professionals who have implemented programs to rehabilitate people of ‘dark personality’ all indicate cure is not possible.
People of
Dark personality (psychopaths, narcissists, coercive controllers) as parents….
1. Will often choose a child to ‘sacrifice’ and implement the isolation tactic with them that dark personality love. This tactic involves undermining the child to family and friends and engaging other
All higher functioning psychopaths/narcissists have what I refer to as a ‘partner henchman’. The partner henchman (PH) is groomed by the psychopath/narcissist to be so supremely grateful to the psychopath/narcissist for opportunities they have offered them and so entwined in the
A startling fact about dark personality, including psychopaths, narcissists and coercive controllers… they all use exactly the same tactics to win, destroy others and avoid exposure.
These include:
- weaponising the justice system even when they are guilty.
- attributing their
Interesting fact: Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers have ‘manipulative intelligence’.
1.They are able to engage innocent people to take actions to fulfil their goals without these innocent people knowing they are complicit in hurting and disadvantaging others.
2.They
What is the worst thing that could happen to a parent?
The loss of a child!
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to inflict this horrific fate on the ‘protective’ or good parent.
They do this by:
- manipulating the child’s good memories of the
The weaponry (or 25 tactics) of the psychopath/narcissist/coercive controller.
Note: These are used exceptionally powerfully, expertly, convincingly…
1. Intimidation with the intent to create fear.
2. Isolates (the target from their family, friends and networks through the use
An important point to keep in mind about narcissists/psychopaths is they are predatory and exploitative. As predators they gravitate to jobs where they have control, often working with populations that are vulnerable. Think teaching, medicine, domestic violence, law enforcement,
Data shows that people of dark personality (narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers) never choose therapy but if they are made or compelled to go to a mental health professional, they use the experience to gain information to further their own goals which may include
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers use intimidation to establish relationship ‘rules’. They often use ‘cold’ anger to do this. Cold anger is not real anger, rather a very credible act to scare someone. N/p/cc target people who are vulnerable and who tend to respond
Why would someone in a helping profession, like psychology or medicine, hurt their clients?
The brains of narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers are different, the pre-frontal cortex and amygdala. These ‘people’ do not feel emotions like joy. They are motivated very
@MrsOlamohammed
The problem is, most people ARE too naive to figure out their deception and to understand how they operate. The intricacies and complexities of their manipulations are too hard for most people to process and accept. Even when targets/victims see through them, most others don’t.
What is the greatest motivation of a psychopath/narcissist?
Control, control, control, control!!
Control of their ex-partner even once the partner has left, control of a body during a rape, control of the narrative about themselves, control of other people.
They will do and say
DARVO is one of the tactics used by narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers to avoid accountability for their nefarious acts.
It stands for ‘Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim Offender’. Those guilty of domestic violence, child sex abuse, workplace bullying, exploitation, lying
Interesting fact about Persistent Predatory Personality (including psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers):
Studies have been done to test if they can read minds. PPP have an extraordinary ability to anticipate how someone might act a long way in advance and cutting them
To victims of narcissists/psychopaths, coercive controllers, please:
1. Own the beauty of your kind and loving nature.
2. Treat all new people with healthy enquiry.
3. When you go to share personal information, take a breath first, then decide if you still want to share.
4. Know
Interesting fact: narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers are extremely vindictive. Their punishment is often related to the perceived slight or infringement against them. For example, if the narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller is stopped from entering a store because
It is impossible to co-parent with a narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller! Their motivation is control and they are willing to compromise the best interests of their child to win.
People often talk to me about narcissism/psychopathy being on a spectrum.
My data indicates it is not.
It is categorical, with identifiable, shared attributes. Behavioural manifestation of attributes varies according to socio-economic status, intelligence, context and other
Psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers are drawn to charities. In charities people are less likely to suspect someone is nefarious, governance processes are often reduced and the body intended to hold charities to account in most countries is under-resourced. I know of 3
Research, research, research!!
If you want to avoid harm from people of dark personality (narcissists/psychopaths/exploiters) you MUST know the red flags and you MUST do the research!
For example, recently while scrolling on social media I noticed a woman speaking about a group
One of the many red flags re narcissists/psychopaths is that they have limited emotional expression. This is often mistaken for calmness or being ‘cool in a crisis’. Their voice timbre is often a monotone. Narcissists/psychopaths must manufacture or act out emotions. Laughing is
What professions are higher functioning narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers attracted to?
1. Any role where they have a lot of power and control.
2. A role which is upstanding and where they are less likely to be suspected and held to account.
3. A role which allows
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers are like African predator animals….
1. They look for vulnerable prey - the old, the young, the sick, the unsupported, the kind-hearted.
2. They isolate them from their pack - from friends, family.
3. They weaken them - demean,
What is the greatest blocker to narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers being held to account? Why don’t people understand more deeply the attributes, tactics and motivators of psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers who work as executives, lawyers, doctors, full-time
Interesting fact: Bob Hare developed the Psychopathy Checklist, the first assessment tool to identify psychopaths. It is still used extensively today.
Bizarrely, the tool does not contain ‘control and dominance’ as an attribute. Control emerged as the most powerful driver of
Interesting fact: psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers use prolonged staring as one of their many tactics to make a target feel exceptionally special. This might involve overly lengthy eye contact or following someone with their eyes as they move around a room. This may
A key tactical approach of a high functioning narcissist/psychopath at the point of being exposed is:
- intimidate the exposer,
- engage others who support the psychopath/narcissist to enter the fray,
- provoke the target en-masse to try and get evidence the target is
People of Dark Personality (narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers) will create a public argument with you if you try and expose them. People generally believe both people are at fault in a dispute and the Dark Personality will not be exposed or brought to account.
How do we stop the damage from predatory personality (psychopaths, narcissists, coercive controllers)?
1. We must have an accurate, comprehensive, nuanced articulation of the motivation, attributes and tactics of Predatory Personality across the human race regardless of
Interesting Fact:
Psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers, in later life, become very focussed on LEGACY.
The ones that are smarter and of higher socio-economic status become particularly driven to ensure their greatness is preserved.
This theme emerged strongly in my PhD
If you suspect you are being targeted by a narcissist/psychopath at work, some strategies to avoid harm (professional, reputational, emotional etc) include:
- make sure you never attend meetings alone with them.
- after meetings with them, email items and actions discussed to
People often ask me about the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath.
Let’s start with psychopaths. My PhD data indicates that narcissists, psychopaths and Machiavellians are all subsets of one overarching ‘dark personality’ type.
This personality type is supremely
@NoMoreMKUltra
Understand and actively look for the many red flags. I will continue to discuss them here.
Do not be very open about yourself until you know someone well.
Treat all people with healthy cynicism.
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers have 2 very different types of anger:
1. Hot or pathological anger.
2. Cold or strategic anger.
Hot anger is a reaction to being challenged, thwarted or exposed.
Cold anger is an act, used to intimidate and create fear.
Domestic violence survivors are, shockingly, and almost unbelievably, further abused/exploited by ‘professionals’ in the justice system.
All vulnerable populations attract predators/exploiters.
This thread outlines how predators/exploiters in the Family Court inflict harm.
An insidious tactic of the psychopath/narcissist/coercive controller (dark personality) is what I refer to as ‘secondary manipulation’. Dark personality (DP) are able to get others to, often unwittingly, play a part in achieving their nefarious goals. For example, in a corporate
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers are predatory. Just like prey animals in the wild, they target those who are weaker - the young, the disabled, the vulnerable, the sick, the isolated. They hide from their prey, remaining out of sight for as long as possible. They
Do predators (including narcissists, psychopaths, coercive controllers) recognise other predators and do they work together?
Predators do not always recognise each other immediately although in time they do. They prefer to work alone as they like to have full control and loathe
The extent narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers will go to in order to manipulate and destroy their victims is hard to believe. Examples I have seen include:
1. Falsifying a legal letter using the letterhead of an actual law firm.
2. Creating email addresses very similar
What work do narcissists, psychopaths, predators, exploiters prefer? They prefer roles where they have control, the power to 'run things their way', without question. This is the most important factor.
They prefer roles where they can humiliate, demean, harm, exploit and 'toy'
Where there is smoke, there is fire!! 🔥🔥
A high proportion of narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers are businesses owners. They like the control, the freedom and the ability to ‘manage’ money their way but they are deceitful, exploitative and highly dishonest no matter
One of the greatest barriers to early intervention of domestic violence is the belief system of others. DV perpetrators often look ‘normal’, they have professional currency, they seem up-standing. Dissonance is experienced by people when someone who seems upstanding is revealed
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers see other people as instruments or objects. At all times, other people provide opportunities for the narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller to achieve their goals. This includes friends, colleagues, partners, strangers, and even
How to spot a narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller. The first red flag I always see in public figures is ‘extreme polarisation’: a group of people fanatically support a person while another group passionately argue the same person is ‘bad’.
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive
Dark personality (psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers) are often drawn to religion. They are attracted to the tax-free or tax-reduced status, the absolute control/power, the fact that believers are more maleable, the ability to use funds with limited accountability and
@Chayenn72766251
Not willing to buy this sorry. ‘Unpalatable behaviours’? ‘Limited’?
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers are bent on destruction of a person. The amount of physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, social, reputational harm they cause is extreme & often relentless. It
Coercive control is just ONE attribute of a set of common attributes shared by people of 'dark personality (DP)'. This is a crucial point in the prevention of harm. People of DP include narcissists, psychopaths, Machiavellians, predators, exploiters.
While control is the
@Karenha45662601
Psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers have a pathological anger response to being thwarted, challenged or exposed. It is more powerful than a normal emotion, more like a predatory response.
Concerning fact: Understanding human predators is key to survival. There are, however, many fields of study researching people who actively violate social norms and harm and disadvantage others by conscious choice, which rarely if ever engage with each other’s work. These fields
Huge red flag that someone is a narcissist/psychopath.
- they liken themselves to a religious figure.
- they speak as if seeing themselves on the heals of a world leader, in any area, eg business, entertainment etc.
- they see themselves as some kind of superhero figure, real
One of the 20 shared attributes of the narcissist/psychopath I refer to as ‘brazenness’. With no fear because of pre-frontal cortex and amygdala brain anomalies, they do/say things we would NEVER do/say. We would feel ashamed or embarrassed or consider these things wildly outside
“The impact on victims is profoundly damaging and life threatening, even in those who are the victims/targets of those (narcissists/psychopaths/dark personality) who are higher functioning. Adults and children can both experience suicidal ideation as well as suicide attempts, in
How do narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers:
- orchestrate the end of their child’s relationship with the other, loving, parent?
- secure devotion from a cult following?
- guarantee a child they are sexually abusing does not tell?
- maintain the loyalty of a partner
The sexual and relationship world of the narcissist/psychopath/coercive controller/dark personality is completely boundaryless.
While they all have personal proclivities, they can be drawn to a wide range of sexual and relationship behaviors, which often break laws, agreements
My ex imitated me. He mimicked my mannerisms and laugh. He copied my hairstyle and hair color. Even his nose job looks similar to my nose. He wore my clothes. He used to watch me while I did my makeup. I just thought we were talking until I read in his messages about how he
Red flags for high functioning psychopaths/narcissists later in life include:
1. Sponsoring a university chair or wing with use of their name.
2. Media articles about involvement with charity that mentions their name.
3. A person whose children were brought up mostly by the
Can you believe academics/researchers had never collected data from senior practitioners working with narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers outside the prison system and their targets. That is, no one had collected data across fields from practitioners working with
Over time several terms have been developed to distinguish between the 2 groups of people exhibiting similar behaviours with a different motivation…
Psychopath v sociopath, malignant narcissist v vulnerable narcissist, type A psychopath v type B psychopath and so on.
My data
Family Court HUGE RED FLAG! If judges, lawyers, court report writers, consultants say:
- poor children: ‘parental conflict’ is not good for them, or
- men and women are equally prone to ‘alienating’ children.
- This is a powerful red flag that they are predatory/exploitative.
-
@DrEmmaKatz
One of my PhD research participants, an FBI profiler said predators/abusers who are psychopaths/grandiose narcissists spend 80% of their time creating & managing positive facades. My data also shows that many of them involve themselves in church &/or charities as part of the act.
Narcissists/psychopaths/coercive controllers often become cult leaders. As cult leaders they have singular control which they LOVE! They create a culture which gives them even greater power - punishments, rules, favourites, shunning external influence/codes, manipulation of
Psychopaths/narcissists/coercive controllers are driven powerfully by control and are extremely vindictive. When their partner pulls away from them, starts to seek help from law enforcement, starts to see through the facade, is the point at which the