im planning both my suicide and future at the same time and im genuinely committed to both paths

BMI 18 vs bmi 13 jesus why was i literally the fattest bmi 18 ever 😭

Can’t believe I’m only 1,5 kg from my gw… what should I do to celebrate this milestone ?😛😛😛 probably just kms lol

I hate everything about my ed and how it’s ruined my life and made me isolate myself from the girl I literally used to spend every hour of the day with I miss my bestfriend so much

Lol been sooo tired all day but then I just got a thought to relapse in sh tonight when my parents are sleeping and now I feel awake again blessed ig

A week ago I was walking 30k steps everyday with no breaks and today I walked 3 km in an hour bc I needed 3 long breaks omg what is happening I feel like I’m dying lol

Going to another doctor appointment tomorrow and I just know she’s gonna tell me that I need to start eating more like they do every time but like idk how to do that guys like I need someone with authority of some kind to write down a mealplan for me and tell me I HAVE to follow

Im so sad today bc i literally don’t have a personality anymore and im looking at old pictures of me and it feels like seeing a total stranger but then at the same time it’s like seeing an old friend again and i want to cry all the time lol is this hell..😊

Finally bmi 13

So What color should I dye my hair

Now I’m just really bored and I want to dye my hair but idk if that’ll just damage my hair even more and I’ll go bald or something idk

Feeling like my body has finally just given up on me and i literally can’t do anything other than lay on the couch and my head is just screaming at me 24/7 that I need to get my steps

Went and got a health check at my doctor today and fainted when she took my blood and had to lay down for like 20 minutes and now i literally can’t move my arm

Yesterday my sister told me that I should think abt what I’m putting them through but like what abt what I’m putting myself through?😂😂 I know she’s just worried but I see no point in saying that to someone who’s sick like i literally don’t care anymore

Omg my sister just told me that I’ll lose my hair and then like literally a second later I’m pulling out a huge chuck of hair directly from my scalp and it’s just falling out now

Omad today: oatmeal and a whole cucumber and 3 mini carrots 🥣🥒🥕150 cals total 🤙

Got kinda scared when I weighed myself this morning bc I can’t believe this is the weight I’ve dreamed abt since I was 12 lol

Just made ice cream in the snow?!?!?!?! Added daim in and omg so yum 👩‍🍳

Spent 4 hours walking around grocery stores this morning I’m so tired I just want to sleep forever 😭

Maybe I should try maintaining for a while but that’s lowkey too scary… but new lw😊😊🤙