Schlatt
@jschlatt
Followers
3,083,425
Following
1,116
Media
2,296
Statuses
9,948
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I'll never forget the day I met Technoblade. I left work early to play in a Minecraft tournament with him. I barely knew how to play... and the dude still carried us to win the entire fucking event.
Rest in peace, big guy. You'll always be a legend.
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RIP Queen Elizabeth. I want to reiterate that I had absolutely nothing to do with this
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Happy to announce that I have been sworn in as the 46th President of the United States
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Nothing gives me more ✨serotonin✨ than imagining my favorite content creators fucking each other in the ass
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Just hit 2 million subscribers and I'm pissed because a lot of people have more
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Jambo ate some stuff he shouldn't have and needed surgery yesterday. Thankfully he's back home and doing well. My boy is a trooper💙
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I just learned that half the population STANDS UP to wipe their ass and I’m fucking disgusted
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AT LONG LAST, I HAVE BEEN RE-VERIFIED. I PROMISE I WILL NOT THREATEN THE QUEEN THIS TIME.
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Every time someone calls me “bud” I feel myself start to shrink
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Truly disgusting, that some people would do this horrible thing.
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Just had to explain to my mom why spending $95,000 on a monkey with fat nuts is "funny" and "my job"
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“well twitter was fun while it lasted” shut the fuck up. this app always sucked ass
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just sent in my application to be verified and it was denied in under 60 seconds. no joke. starting to lose all hope
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thinking about how much pussy i could be getting if i was still verified
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I shouldn't have to say this, but don't actually vote for me you morons
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i started this whole Schlatt 2020 thing as a joke but i legitimately feel like i could do a better job than both of them
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just hit 3 million subscribers and twitter still wont verify me
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I would pay good money to never see a minecraft youtuber trend on twitter again.
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Like this tweet and we will get it on a billboard in Times Square.
DO THE RIGHT THING. DON'T LET
@Corpse_Husband
WIN.
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Sorry guys, have to cancel the stream tonight. Jambo's been throwing up all day and I think he might've eaten something bad again. Gonna get him taken care of tonight. Will keep you guys posted
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here it is: my official ranking of every cereal. if you have a different opinion you're wrong
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british people really owned the entire world and decided to keep living on their shitty little island
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I WON THE ELECTION!
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for halloween im dressing up as an asshole with a blue checkmark
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Ultrasound showed something blocking Jambo’s small intestine. Now there’s fluid building up in his stomach. He’s going into surgery soon to fix it. WISH MY BOY LUCK!!!
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if you have a british accent i automatically assume youre dumber than a bag of rocks
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just spent five days without internet and all i could think about was how happy i was without twitter
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