hey just a reminder: my opinion is only as strong as the weight you individually put behind it. i am just a person, just like you, and you are extremely welcome to value mine as low as i do yours. i’m happy to argue all day, but it’s really not that serious. at least not to me.

been going to the gym w my dog @donotbesoweird the past week or so and i’m starting to question whether we’re actually friends or not.

What do you want to know?.

listened to a song i haven’t heard in a decade and finally had my ‘aha’ moment - it might’ve taken a whole year, but i’m ready… see you soon!.

yo @spotify there’s like 4 & a half more hours of Sunday, why’d my Discover Weekly update already?!.

RT @JimiDevine: Me trying to figure out what got my IG taken down this time.

i feel like i should clarify here: i don’t work with that brand anymore, i don’t NEED to be nice to you. if you come at me or mine just be warned: i LIKE to battle and i’m not half bad at it. feel free to take your shots, but don’t cry victim when mine actually land!.

RT @OffHoursLA: New York… next month we’re going off the clock - hope to see ya there!

ngl @AmericanAir has gone to absolute shit. booked my flight months ago, but now they don’t have seats on the plane? wtf kind of sales process is that?.

last night i got an italian beef like as soon as i got in, then got back to my hotel and ordered another. i love chicago so much.

RT @donotbesoweird: I literally do not care lol.

“if you come for the king, you best not miss”.

RT @SouthPark: Wait, so we ARE relevant?.#eatabagofdicks.

went out for today’s missions and forgot to bring weed for the first time in probably a decade… am i ok? definitely not rn.

RT @donotbesoweird: ⚠️⚠️⚠️

hey @elonmusk, how’s the dexterity on those robots? can they roll joints? i got an idea 😈.

RT @tommy2stix: How many grannies died because @joncappetta visited someone’s profile?.

RT @aintnobodycool: Very true I nuke TF out my engagement posting the shit I like but fuck it we ball! 😅😅😅.

having a cute dog makes someone at least 10% more attractive, easily.

RT @OffHoursLA: hey new york… you ready?

RT @donotbesoweird: Life is not who? lol

feds in Cookies gear was not on my bingo card but nothings surprising anymore….