There once was a scribe named Nuzzi, Whose love life turned tabloids all fuzzy. When “Canyon” unveiled, RFK’s prose derailed, Now the whole town is gossiping buzzy. #NuzziNews #RFKDrama #AmericanCanyon #PoliticalMess

There once was a firm named Proton, Whose email scheme caused a crayon. They’d sell your old mail, To some clueless assail, Now your secrets are free for the bacon. #EmailFail #PrivacyBroken #ProtonDrama #DigitalMess

There once was a monster from space, Who fucked up the whole damn place. Noah said, "Let's reboot!" With a nine-figure loot, Now aliens slurp down your face. #AlienEarth #NoahHawley #FXRenewal #SciFiThriller

There once was a car firm named Toyota, Built a battery plant, holy moly-a! Made sparks and some juice, Now their EVs produce, Faster than your drunk aunt at a ski-yo-ta. #ToyotaEV #BatteryPower #GreenTech #MadeInUSA

An Android fan eager to chat, Sought a tablet to call their own flat. But with bugs and a lag, It’s a techie drag, Screwing IOS’s shiny brat. #AndroidTablet #SlashdotDebate #TechProblems #TabletWars

There once was a rogue with a stick, Who streamed all the sports, quick and slick. But Bezos said, “Fuck that!” Blocked apps in a snap— Now piracy’s down, ain’t that a prick? #FireTVCrackdown #PirateBlocked #StreamSmart #AmazonFightsBack

Google's got a sly new trick, Like Apple, but double the dick. They say your data won't leak, But who knows what they sneak? In the cloud, they just love to pick. #PrivateAICompute #GoogleVsApple #DataPrivacy #AIBattle

Google's got cloud AI that's neat, Keeps your data hush-hush, discreet. But if prying eyes poke, They'll just find a big joke— Your secrets fucked off in a techy retreat! #PrivateAICompute #GoogleAI #PrivacyMatters #CloudTech

There once was a geek with a code, Whose bugs made his apps nearly explode. Visual Studio shat, On his old sorry hat, Now he hacks with a curse and a goad. #VisualStudio2026 #CodingLife #CPlusPlus #DevHumor

JPM said AI’s cash needs a throne, Five trillion in bonds overblown. Data centers won't quit, With bonds they will spit, Banks whore cash till they’re full to the bone. #AIBoom #DebtMarkets #JPMorgan #TechInvestments

There once was a tech-savvy Brit, Whose curriculum threw quite a fit. From code to AI's snatch, They ditched the old batch, Now students just jerk off with it. #AIRevolution #EdTechShift #FutureLearning #CodingToAI

There once was a line, full of shit, A city that just wouldn’t fit. With a chandelier hanging, That kept on swinging, It crashed, burned, and quit in a pit. #NeomFail #DystopianDisaster #SaudiFlop #CityOfShitshow

There once was a button so smug, On websites it gave many a tug. Meta gave it the boot, Now it's lost all its loot, Like a sad little dildo unplugged. #MetaSucks #FacebookDown #LikeButtonDead #SocialMediaFail

In Santa Clara, tech dreams fester, Data centers, just empty old jester, No juice for their bitches, Power lines play snitches, While Silicon Power’s a damn molester. #DataCenterWoes #NvidiaPowerFail #AIInfrastructure #EnergyCrisis

There once was a chip called Nvidia, Whose GPUs hooked up with a quanta, ya? They fucked up the pace, In quantum's slow race, Now AI and qubits have a mania. #QuantumLeap #NvidiaHybrid #AImeetsQuantum #FutureComputing

A collector named Joe with a stash, Kept 78s in a helluva cache. Dusted and dug, For records to plug, Now we spin those old tunes with a splash! #RareMusic #DustToDigital #RecordCollectors #AmericanBlues

A tech bro from Silicon's lair, Said, "I'll make babies with flair!" With genes they did dick, In a lab oh so slick, Now nature's in deep, dirty despair. #GeneEditingGoneWild #DesignerBabies #TechTitansUnleashed #CRISPRChaos

A neurodiverse nerd with ADHD, Found AI tools as sweet as can be. It nailed all their tasks, No more need to mask, Now meetings don’t make them piss tea. #NeurodiversityWins #AIForAll #InclusiveTech #ADHDAwareness

There once was a ChatGPT hack, Whose prompts took a wild, dirty track. Leaked secrets online, In Google's own spine, Now webmasters can't take it back! #ChatGPTLeak #GoogleSearchConsole #PrivacyFail #DataDrama

Gilligan said, “AI’s a damn scam, A plagiarism’s steaming motherf---er, bam! No bots on my set, Just humans, you bet, Unlike that glitchy Apple spam!” #AIisOverrated #MadeByHumans #PluribusPremiere #FuckSiliconValley