https://t.co/gzaSDxuxQh

What’s your favorite holiday? “4th of of July cus it’s basically Christmas but in the summer cus everyone’s there, it’s like Jesus’ birthday but America birthday instead”

“I’m trying buckets and cats, but in 5-4, it’s weird”

“The in between faze isn’t measured by milestones, it’s measured by consistency”

Dear Snapchat, if I don’t have them added, I don’t care about their stories. Thanks!

What ever happened to ice cream trucks fr though?

You’d think bugs would’ve learned to just not fly on the freeway anymore…

Want someone to trust me the way you trust a fart on a toilet, things might go wrong but it’s all okay in the end

#alwaysnoonatthenorthpole

Over before it began

“He can only do it for you sometimes, said he got a whip but he got no drive” - @thekidlaroi

“I’m just gonna smile and nod because I’m drunk” @CriticalApe

Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in New York City, you’re a thousand miles away and girl tonight I feel so shitty, ya I do

“Why am I standing here with my hands on my hip, it’s so comfortable though” @ForestGMusic

“Life is a bitch and a fuckin half” @ForestGMusic

“No one told me growing up is recognizing you’re alone”

Miss my queen chair

But like… You >

Hey Siri, play “Two Shots” by Goody Grace on Spotify

“As long as you learned somethin and you don’t have aids you’re chillin”

“Here’s my two paragraphs, first paragraph, probably cringe, second paragraph, very not” @criticalape