Still not over the fact that when I got my prosthetic legs they were like “do you want to be taller” and I was like “ya” and then they made me 2 inches taller. You wish you were me
Before Adderall: hmmm.... so cosy in bed... shall I leave? Ne'er! o, to luxuriate in this warmth, this peace... may it be a gentle presence henceforth.....
After Adderall: I Am Going To Build A Computer
Wish I was born into generational wealth because i could just be like "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm gonna be a curator" then curate something and everyone is like "this is terrible. but we will not say it because we are afraid of your parents"
Why are all millennial self-help books called something like “FUCK!!! Shit is SO FUCKED!!! Get it SORTED THE FUCK OUT you little FREAK!!! Don’t be a BITCH!!!”
Miss calling everything a "liminal space" back in art school ... messy closet? Liminal space. Park I cried in after my flatmate called me a dumb bitch? Liminal space. Spot on the floor of the hardcore show my ex threw up at? Liminal fuckin space baby
What about pro-aging vitamins. I want to be a 60-year-old lesbian with a long white braid who drinks warm mugs of sleepytime tea after a brisk walk along the seaside