A student told me that I look like Frankie Grande and I will now be becoming a recluse and avoiding the public for the foreseeable future.

Walked into a CVS in downtown Louisville and the guy walking out at the same time says under his breath: “You just know he’s gay.” Clocked!! 😂

Got a call from my mom at 10:30pm last night so obviously started panicked thinking something was wrong. Turns out, she was just drunk and wanted to chat

Dreamt last night that I was visiting London, that I had a work trip to Sweden and tacked on a vacation to Norway, and that I had cat that would not stop wanting snuggles. You can’t imagine the disappointment I felt when I woke up.

So finally saw Bros and maybe it was the 4 beers, 2 sparkling wines, and my heightened anxiety while flying but I actually enjoyed it

The NYPD just overspent their budget by over 100 mill…so the mayor is cutting public libraries……….great budgeting skills, man.

Is there a planet out of orbit? An asteroid in or out of retrograde? Because my anxiety has been off the charts the past few days!

Okay these flight attendants on my United flight from Boston to Newark are cuuuuute 😍

Me right now with a beer after I found out that my September rent check was never deposited and now I have to pay double rent this month

::my sister puts on an N’SYNC song:: My dad: “Is she still alive?” ::me stares confusedly at my dad:: Dad: “Britney” Me: “Huh?” Dad: “Isn’t this Britney? It sounds like Britney” Me: “Uhhh no, this isn’t her. But yes, she’s still very much alive” 😂😂

Just learned that my dad and his friends organized an outdoor rave this summer. This was on top of a “Wild West” party that they threw last year complete with a mechanical bull.

So glad I saved my @united club pass for my first international trip in 3 yrs only to be told that it’s not accepted because the club is “at capacity” 🙄

I’ve been at this bar for less than an hour and the amount of times straight men have mentioned someone shitting their pants is…concerning.

At the age of 36, I finally watched Legally Blonde. Feel like I’ve leveled up on my gay card.

Guy at rental car counter: “I see you’re an Emerald Club member so we’ll get you something bigger. How’s a Chevy Malibu?” Me: “I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what that means.” Guy: *chuckles in heterosexual pity*

Love that they’re (finally) finishing up the street work outside my apt. Don’t love that they waited until 11pm to begin paving the street…on a weeknight…right outside my bedroom

https://t.co/37jZxp7Tir

Legit devastated by this news

Monkeypox vaccine appointments will go live at https://t.co/8Msasit341 tomorrow at 6pm. Appointments can also be booked by calling 877-VAX-4NYC. ☑️Check for all updates: https://t.co/bFkb7bM5Ve ☑️Sign up for alerts: text MONKEYPOX to 692-692

📣UPDATE: We will release over 8,000 first dose monkeypox vaccine appointments over the next two weeks.🧵