The Jewish Meme Queen
@jewishmemequeen
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The Queen of Jewish Memes 👸🏻| Open-minded Orthodox Jew ✡️ | Challah baker
Joined March 2020
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Pinned Tweet
Chabad be like: “make sure your hair is dry when using this blanket.”
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2 weeks ago I insisted on visiting my grandparents for Shabbat. Before I left, my grandfather hugged me 3x and kissed me on the cheek even though he doesn’t usually for fear of Covid. I’m grateful I got to say goodbye. Baruch Dayan Haemet Moshe Leib ben Chaim HaLevi a’h
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Can someone who was alive during the Iranian hostage crisis enlighten me on how the world reacted? Were people tearing down posters of the 52 American hostages?
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I’m a born and raised Orthodox Jew.
This is a message for the reform, conservative, and traditional Jews.
You matter. You deserve respect.
I am not better than you even though I keep more mitzvot.
You are just as much part of the tribe as I am.
G-d loves all his children ❤️
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This is your annual reminder to not call Hanukkah “the Jewish Christmas.” They’re not the same.
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I tried the “challah knot” method. Never again😳
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Mothers 18 minutes before shabbos vs after candle lighting:
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I’m shocked by how many single Orthodox Jews struggle to find meals for shabbos. I think each frum community should start a whatsapp group with various hosts who can meal-match with singles. We’re the kings of whatsapp chats. No one should ever be forced to eat alone.
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Imagine losing your child Menachem Mendel at a huge Chabad event 😳
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He looks like the non-Jewish spouse that loves going to synagogue.
absolutely obsessed with this photo of rob lowe at the kotel where he looks the most out of place i’ve ever seen a man look
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Jewish laws that need to be revised:
1. Kitniot
2. Poultry not being parve.
3. Non-kosher wine without additives. No one is pouring wine for their idols in the vineyards.
4. 2 day chags. We literally have calendars.
5. kol isha- the same logic should apply for speech
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Y’all telling me I can’t eat fresh brussel sprouts or broccoli cuz they’re impossible to check for bugs? Meanwhile our ancestors used to cook food using one candle and the sun. Something doesn’t add up🤔
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Let’s do this again!
If you’re Jewish, comment Shabbat shalom 🕯️🕯️
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It’s time for Ashkenazi Jews to adopt the Sephardic custom of eating kitniot on pesach.
Let’s all eat rice and beans and sing acheinu.
Am Yisroel Chai am sick of potatoes.
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*Fancy restaurants be like*
A poached blend of carp, pike, and whitefish garnished with candied carrots and onions. Served with a side of beet infused horseradish relish. Gluten free & Sugar free options available:
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To the Rabbi who was so strict about keeping women out of the men’s section at my friend’s wedding tonight, just know that you may have prevented shidduchim from happening.
Some of us need to meet men naturally. A wedding is the perfect place.
What a shame.
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If you’re Jewish, comment below “Shabbat Shalom.”
Let’s unite together on this platform ✡️
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In December, I spent an entire shabbos alone. I live in a vibrant frum area, yet no one invited me for a meal.
That is why I am partnering with the Orthodox Union. They are on a mission to change the way singles are treated in our community.
It starts with you.
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Lately everyone on Jewish Twitter has been getting engaged. I’m here to announce that my hair looked good today and I made chicken lo mein for dinner. Congratulations to me 🥳🍾🥂
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This shabbos will be my Grandfather’s first yardzheit. I cannot believe a year has gone by since he left this world.
Shabbat shalom Grandpop❤️
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*Random Yenta at a wedding*
“How are you still single?”
Me: “How are you still married?”
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Shabbat shalom
#jewishtwitter
These might just be the most beautiful challahs I’ve ever made.
Post your challah pix below 👇🏻
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Starting a new sect in Judaism:
*Normadox*
Normal and Orthodox. No labels. No special garb. Just existing as a religious Jew who keeps kosher, Shabbat, and family purity.
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Today was a milestone. I’ve wanted to get my hair colored for a long time but kept saying, “it’s fine, when I’m married I’ll get a wig with highlights.”
After 6 years of dating, I decided it was time to cross another goal off the list.
Here’s to living life to the fullest ✨
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Love when brands write “kosher for Passover and all year round.”
Y’all really think I’m going to eat a sawdust potato cookie on a random day in July?
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After seeing the price of gas these days, I’m not so skeptical about Moshiach arriving on a donkey.
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When it’s Passover and the website asks you to accept their cookies:
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This year I got to experience the joy of Simchat Torah. I went to Israeli Hakafot and in this shul, not only were women dancing, they were even given a Torah! I finally got to experience the joy men feel each year. I wish Orthodox shuls did this in America.
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This past Shabbat I went to a traditional conservative synagogue. It was lovely. The prayer was almost identical to an orthodox service. I enjoyed seeing men and women of all ages join together to praise Hashem and welcome in the holy Sabbath.
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Yesterday was the first time my reform grandmother recited the entire bircat hamazon. She struggles with Hebrew so I told her we could do it in English and just replace the words for HaShem with the actual ones.
I couldn’t be more proud of her ❤️
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Every year there’s a news story about an Orthodox Jew trying to swap seats on a flight so they’re not sitting next to a woman.
Here’s my take: Don’t.
Your stringencies offend women and ignite antisemitism. Either buy an extra seat or stop being machmir. 1/2
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Date:“How modern Orthodox are you?”
Me: “I believe in Evolution.”
Him: *gasps*
Him: “So you believe we come from monkeys???”
Me: “No, but by the way you were eating with your hands it seems plausible.”
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The DC rally is proof that we can band Jews together without free sushi and refreshments.
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Shabbat shalom ✡️
This will be my last Shabbat as a 25 year old. I hope this coming year I continue to spread ahavat Yisroel and bring joy to the world.
Let’s see your challahs ⬇️
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Can we all agree to not mock conservative or reform rabbis?
You can disagree with their approach to Judaism, but there’s no need to poke fun of them in a shiur or podcast.
They are people too.
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This really angers me.
If someone is so careful with modesty, buy 2 plane seats. There is no excuse to inconvenience another person to accommodate your stringencies.
A
@united
crew member yelled at me that the flight to NYC won’t take off because of me - after I refused to Ultra Orthodox passengers’ request to change my seat. I was told the flight might touch down in Egypt and it would be my fault. What a humiliating event for me as a woman.
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I used to be embarrassed to pray around my Non-Orthodox family. A few years ago, I decided I would not hide my prayers anymore.
On Friday my 4 year old cousin picked up a bencher, looked at me and said: “Avital, I wanna pray with you!”
Be proud of who you are ✡️
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What time did you finish your Seder?
Chasidim: 3am
Litvaks: 11:56pm
Yekkehs: 12:00am
Conservative Jews: 8pm
Reform Jews: 6:30pm
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*Target Judaics Manager*
OMG YOU GUYS FINALLY FOUND IT?!
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Sephardi Husband: “Hey, did you season the chicken soup?”
Ashkenazi wife: “Yeah, of course.”
The seasoning:
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Happy birthday trees. Thanks for giving us oxygen.
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Wait. Is it the minhag for Jews to eat Chinese tonight, or tomorrow?
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Next few months of the Jewish calendar:
- The fruit birthday.
- Happy Month 1
- Happy Month 2 with dress up day, wine, and food.
- Anxiety & cleaning followed by 8 days of cardboard crackers, more wine, and lots of talking.
- Sad time, beards, and no music until cheesecake day.
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Which side are you on?
Sourdough Vs. Challah
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Welcome to my page 👋🏻
I’m Avital, an open-minded Orthodox Jew. I love making people laugh and smile through Jewish humor. I hope to connect Jews around the world with my platform.
Whether you’re a frequent shul goer or just a bagel lover, you’ll definitely enjoy it here ☺️
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I hate the phrase “off the derech.” Judaism isn’t a one way street. It’s full of highways and exits. We’re all on our own “derech” in this world. Let’s normalize not calling people OTD.
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I found the afikoman 👏🏻
My Dad: “Great job! Now if you can just find a nice husband…”
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Listen, I’m no expert here… but I can assure you that Moshiach won’t come through slander of non-Orthodox Jews. Let’s focus on Ahavat Yisroel.
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Do not delete the antisemitic comments from your posts.
Do not block the trolls.
We need proof.
When people come and tell us “you’re exaggerating,” we need to show them the evidence.
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I will be eating this all week to maximize the mitzvah.
Wait. Is it the minhag for Jews to eat Chinese tonight, or tomorrow?
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Manischewitz wine is not it. These are the top tier Seder wines:
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This is my Great Uncle.
He’s 77 years old so he can’t fight in the war. Instead, he’s volunteering as a medical clown in the South.
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Ashkenazim will literally mix Mayo, romaine lettuce, 4 tomatoes, and nish crackers and call it a salad.
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Chabad truly “light” up the world: watch this video
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The only present I want this chanuka is for all Jews to get along.
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Orthodox Jews be like:
“We don’t believe in superstition.”
*Also Orthodox Jews*
“Bli Ayin Harah poo poo poo.”
“Did you check your mezuzahs?”
“Cut your nails in the toilet, Chas v’shalom a pregnant woman steps on them and miscarries!”
“Not 1, not 2, not 3…”
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Friendly reminder that you do not have to get drunk on Purim.
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Unpopular opinion: these candies are so good
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Reasons I don’t send a full body shidduch picture:
1. I don’t want a random guy analyzing my body.
2. I’m not a fashion model. If you want to stare at women’s bodies go buy a magazine.
3. Looks have no reflection of me as a person
4. It’s completely against Torah ideals.
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Shabbat shalom
#jewishtwitter
May this week bring comfort and joyous news to our nation 💪🏻❤️
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This picture is incredible
Traveling to Washington DC for
#MarchForIsrael
and getting surge of Jewish pride and Jewish unity unlike anything we have ever felt or seen before.
Every stop along the way we see dozens of buses and hundreds of cars with Jews of every background, young and old, leaving behind…
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My friend made lemon meringue hamantaschen. You’d think these came from Patis.
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Reminder that the following items are *NOT* food. Therefore, they do *NOT* need to be kosher for Passover.
If you’re eating your lipstick or drinking perfume please call poison control.
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“There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
The fish:
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Am I the only person who loves this stuff? I eat one layer at a time and save the chocolate for last cuz it’s the best!
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Moshiach is coming. Parve Hershey’s and Reese’s 😲
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This was a good one
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