Jay Mandel
@jaymandel
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I focus on helping brands grow with authenticity and empathy.
New York City
Joined September 2008
I ran a competitive analysis to see if X (formerly Twitter) was still worth my client's time. What I found was. rough.
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That line got silk sheets and incense energy. Don’t play it unless you mean it. 😌🎶.
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If it’s all right with you, then it’s all right with me” the most respectful R&B way to say I’m tryna risk it all.
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Avoiding accountability doesn’t make you strong. It makes you dangerous because the people around you carry the cost of your denial. The longer you delay the truth, the uglier its return. You can’t out-brand reality. You can’t outlast a lie.
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History is full of examples: .Prince Andrew .Nixon .Theranos .Blockbuster.They all doubled down on a lie. They all collapsed when the mirror wouldn’t lie back.
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And when the truth finally breaks through? Meltdown!.Because the persona can no longer withstand the pressure of reality.
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Skip the hard convo.Smile in public .Paint you as “too much” so they feel like “the reasonable one” .Weaponize your reaction to avoid taking any accountability!.
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This isn’t just in politics or corporations. It’s in families, friend groups, and teams. It’s anyone who’s more invested in the image of peace than the cost of silence. Gaslighting isn’t always loud. It’s often strategic!.
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Try to have a real conversation; ."Let’s talk about the harm. Let’s be honest.”.You’ll hear things like: .“Why now?” .“You’re being aggressive.” .“We’re not going back there.”.That’s not calm. That’s control.
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These days, many People don’t just avoid the truth. They weaponize your pursuit of it. They deflect, ghost, pivot, and make YOU the problem.
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🛑 Final thought:.This isn’t about being nice. It’s about boundaries. You’re not the fallback. You’re not the system. You’re not here to fix what they refuse to carry. 📌 Name it. 🛑 Stop explaining it. 🚫 Don’t carry it.
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4. The Fixer Trap.Let’s talk about you. You step in because someone has to. But they treat your effort like an obligation, not a contribution. The more you fix, the less they respect you. Every time you clean up their mess, you teach them it’s okay to keep making it.
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3. Control without responsibility. This is the real power move: They still want to be in charge. They want decisions, influence, credit. But when it fails? Crickets. They expect you to clean it up—quietly. That’s not leadership. That’s manipulation.
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2. Avoidance of guilt through deflection.Instead of saying “I messed up,” they say:.“The system’s broken.”.“Nobody told me.”.“Things got crazy.”. Why? Because admitting fault triggers shame. So they shift the narrative. They want sympathy without accountability.
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1. Entitlement disguised as helplessness.“I didn’t know how to do it.”.“You’re better at this than me.”.“I thought you had it.”.They act overwhelmed. But only when it’s inconvenient. This isn’t helplessness. It’s a strategy. It’s weaponized incompetence.
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The Psychology of People Who Drop the Ball and Expect You to Pick It Up.Here's how the pattern works and why it’s so destructive: 👇.They mess up. You clean it up. They don’t thank you. They do it again. And somehow you’re the problem if you say no.
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