what if you marry the love of your life and then find out they want squiggly house numbers

Watching #TheDropoutHulu makes me wish I worked for @Walgreens

I wish TLCs new show 90 Day Fiancé was called 90 Day Beyonce. Now that's what the people want to see.

Twice this week I've seen early release at schools, what's up with all the half days? From what I've seen, kids could use the extra 2 hours.

Why does it smell like bacon in the gym right now?

The first person that ever had a canker sore must have thought they were dying.

I love school supplies.

Chuck and Larry is making me all misty eyed on the treadmill at the gym.

I eat food after I drop it on the floor, I never use hand sanitizer, I open doors without the paper towel. I haven't had the flu in 5 years.

All I'm tryna do is watch my Washington Heights and proactiv and wen keeps gettin' in da way. #washingtonheights

How about this stupid fucking bullshit weather, eh? #portlandsucks

Babes should be able to do whatever they need to with their bodies. What if a gal President told you what to do with your peener? Not cool.

Oh Delilah, just shut up.

Isn't it funny that the best, healthiest meat is advertised and expected to have a 100% vegetarian diet? #wearentcarnivores

Better redneckognize!! #honeybooboo

Tyson Foods reports profits down 51% this quarter due to lower demand for #chicken & #beef. http://t.co/jgWfiTZO

@EllieRobs ahhh! So jealous! Congratulations babycakes!

kind lifer michelle http://t.co/GTNAj7rS shares how her #vegan diet helped her give birth to a healthy 8 lb 2.5 oz baby boy! #pregnancy