Jasleen Jaswal
@jasleenjaswal
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Best laugh on the planet, according to a recommendation on my LinkedIn profile
Chi/DFW
Joined May 2010
shout-out to everyone on Instagram archiving poorly lit photos of halloumi from 8 years ago
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"Make the customer service survey more relatable. Our customers shouldn't feel like they're interacting with a brand. They should feel like they're connecting with Moen's people, with all of our likes and hopes and dreams" "I'm on it, boss."
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Meanwhile I say it over and over to every nosy auntie asking when I'm gonna land a husband, which does not honor any collective light beyond the potential of a pani puri station at the wedding reception.
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Not offended or judging. It's an involuntary reflex on my part and these people are just honoring a collective light after struggling through Warrior 2.
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Working on a whitepaper called "How To Not Grimace When People Mispronounce Namaste During Yoga"
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lisa simpson tripping balls after drinking fetid river water at duff gardens is a mood
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If I'm ever cancelled, it will be because I'm an American who spells "cancelled" with 2 L's.
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keep forgetting I have a Twitter account but I'll never forget about dre
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Can't we all just smug along?
The "I got my vaccine! 😇" flex is the new "I haven't seen my friends in months. 😇" flex.
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The "I got my vaccine! 😇" flex is the new "I haven't seen my friends in months. 😇" flex.
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Workshopping some tags for a Dateline NBC episode about Carole Baskin hosted by Keith Morrison. But as Carole would soon learn...sometimes we bite off more than we can chew.... Don Lewis was about to learn that *this* kitty had claws....
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Before this week: Store: All we have is single ply toilet paper. Me: Not for *my* delicate behind! This week: Store: All we have is prison grade single ply toilet paper that's a little dried out from sitting in storage since the Office finale. Me: I'll take 10 rolls!
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"Oh God, why did I post that?" - me, looking at my tweets for the first time in 16 months
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I can't be the only Indian kid who has PTSD from watching the National Spelling Bee. #SpellingBee
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If I ever become a parent, it's only because, "I'm confiscating this," seems to be the code for using your teenager as a free drug dealer.
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DO SXSW LIKE A LOCAL!!11!!1!! endure eight hours of “hump day” jokes courtesy of that guy from marketing
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DO SXSW LIKE A LOCAL!1!1!!1!! shine up your badge the one that gets you into the office where the man who microwaves fish awaits
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