Smoking a cig in full lululemon… Gwyneth Paltrow come get y’all juice

White people be like my dog has autism

Ya babe the glow up obsession makes you way hotter and doesn’t reveal your neuroticism and narcissism at all

In a West end town, a dead end world

White people be like my dog voted for Obama twice

WIEIAD as a fat autistic glory hole worker

White people be like my dog prefers indica to sativa

Gen Z be getting doctors notes to let them wear airpods in class

Zoomers be like those are my emotional support airpods

The people in charge of our media be like we should have a race war

“This dessert has 22g of protein” I have a gun

The next person who mentions protein to me better know how to fight

If someone wants closure from you you are literally Him

The scene at the end of Titanic when Jack froze was actually improvised. Jack was supposed to get up on the door but Leo decided to take a different direction. James Cameron was stunned and didn’t yell cut…

Bitches be like “I have imposter syndrome” whole time be bad at they job

Properly measuring a peanut butter serving size is so destabilizing and awe inducing you never forget it

They call me Don the way I Draper

When you find out Tate McRae is from Calgary things start to make sense

Fake ass neurotic foid diagnoses: - PMDD - GAD - Seasonal depression - PCOS - Adult onset ADHD

Nicole Kidman making movies like she has a Drake level sports betting addiction

It’s cool when someone goes by their middle name cuz now I know your parents are attention whores