Jacob
@jacobisnormal
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Following
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Statuses
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It’s hard to make predictions, especially about the future.
Joined February 2022
gay men are on another planet. my friend’s dating app their profile pictures are all cocks. one guy sized his penis up against a large bottle of baby oil. it was game
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closing an email to a professor with “you’re like a father to me,”
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my secret to success is to be in a place where there is a father figure in a position of authority that i am eager to impress and think of often
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how it feels for ur gf’s parents to live walking distance from your mom’s house
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my friends: hey man it really pissed me off when you told people about that thing about me you really need to fix your big mouth. anyways heres some more really embarassing information about me that has to do with people you know
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i live near a whataburger again and it’s one of the most beautiful parts of my life
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day 1 of leading a team at a youth conference: i am imbecile. they will kick me out because my program did not run perfectly. day 2: i am god. i kill on stage. my french accent is perfect and my shit went smooth.
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“mommy, why are we so rich?” “because daddy disappeared and learned half of his measure theory special topics course over winter break to try and impress the professor who invited him”
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decaf coffee is the height of the worlds evil. a cup of nothing. a waste of time, labor, sunlight, and money
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got the highest score by double the next highest
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analysis final. have two cups of coffee and double dose of ritalin. try to eat breakfast. puke your guts out. get a 50/100. it’s the highest score. he gives you a B+
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analysis final. have two cups of coffee and double dose of ritalin. try to eat breakfast. puke your guts out. get a 50/100. it’s the highest score. he gives you a B+
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professor email response time by age 30s: 5-30 minutes 40s: 1-2 days 50s+: will not respond
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If I don't get into math grad school I'm gonna become a baudrillard scholar
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hello ladies. my top 5 artists have been all women for 3 years in a row. interested?
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