#shots #beardlover #booty

Hope everyone had a happy hump day! 🐫🐪

The Las Vegas strip is now the boulevard of broken dreams

It’s officially sluts in sweaters season! #slutsinsweaters #happyfall #FallEquinox #sweaterweather #staytoxic #mas #menaintshit #menaintshitseries #datingmemes #thefuckboiwhisperer

Unsolicited dick pics will be screenshot and made into memes! #youvebeenwarned #menaintshit #menaintshitseries #mas #fuckboiwhisperer #fuckboy #fuckboymemes

I be like “goodnight” then open Tinder @Tinder #tinder #tinderchronicles #menaintshitseries #menaintshit #mas #fuckboi #thefuckboiwhisperer #fuckboiwhisperer

Me talking about my awful taste in men: the redder the wetter #redismyfavoritecolor #redflags #mas #menaintshit #menaintshitseries #thefuckboiwhisperer #onlinedating

Pro tip if you ever feel lonely: just remember that your laundry is waiting for you! #lonely #dating #datingmemes #onlinedating #mas #menaintshit #menaintshitseries #fuckboi #fuckboiwhisperer

You make them laugh at the jokes they’ll moan at the strokes #datingmemes #onlinedating #dateafunnyguy #funnyguysfinishfirst #mas #menaintshit #menaintshitseries #fuckboiwhisperer

Happy Sunday Tongue-Day from THIGHBRUSH

wife: why r u putting garlic in ur pants me: so dracula won’t try to eat my ass wife: why would dracula try to eat ur ass me: he won’t. the garlic- r u even listening

Me: *Piles laundry onto freshly made bed so I cannot nap until I fold it and put it away* Also me: *Pushes laundry to one side of the bed so there is just enough room for myself and the cat to nap*