me in 2 years: gah i’ve had such bad luck for the past couple years

thinking about not writing a lead guitar part for this new @brother_sports song so that i get to chill while @markit0s_ does all the work live 🙊

they’re gonna make lebron and AD co-mvps of the finals and make it about kobe

everyone should read this.

me to my checking account when my debit card goes through

charles barkley just said MLK (yes, that one) couldnt guard him in the post so yeah the NBA is back

if your boss ever challenges your productivity during quarantine remind them how, with all this time to figure this out, the team renamed itself the Washington Football Team 🤣🤣

society: always have a team-first attitude the team:

why are no NBA teams/owners offering to match salary donations that their players are making?

do people who write long viral twitter threads prepare their tweets in a separate doc

is john mayer’s music cool or good

looking to sublease my personal problems. ok with going month-to-month. no credit or background check needed

“are you still watching” but for IG stories

me swiping: hope i get a match! me getting a match: i’ll message tomorrow.

me: i don’t want the mainstream media to tell me what to make of trump’s financial records. i’m gonna look at the documents myself and draw my own conclusions. trump’s financial records:

tweeting a tiktok i found on IG

i think i just spent the last 30 min “hanging out” on instagram

tom brady is the joe biden of quarterbacks

!!!!!!!! 🤪!!!!!!👇🏽!!!!!! 10/4 !!!!!

i shaved my head this weekend and am now updating my memoji like it’s a change of address form