If God is good why did he give me no tits

Hate that my gym attendance is entirely tied to small little factors that entirely decide if I can keep going or not * is the gym on a spot I'd walk past anyway or is it "out of the way" * am I hungry? * am I "just not vibin today" * Did I accidentally sit down on the sofa

I hope no one tells Mr. Beast about Stephen King's The Long Walk

It's actually bizarre that the FNAF movie didnt have a single scene that followed the premise of the game itself

Why do I always feel like a criminal picking up my luggage after airport security… even though I’ve done nothing wrong and they’ve literally proven it a second ago

It's insane we live in a world where a person can't have a Meet and Greet without being at risk of being assaulted or worse #emiru

Breaking Bad is so old it can vote next year

Content creator life is answering every other DM request with "No I do not need any graphics"

Going to mcdonald’s used to be simple. i didn’t have to think about being hot. Ronald McDonald was there. Now he’s gone and i’m the hottest one in the building and I hate it. I never wanted this power.

Unhappy to announce that after my little stroll in the woods last stream I found a spider in my ear

You recognise the men's styling products aisle from the way it all looks like car care products

Remember on Game Boy if you wanted to play together you needed a special cord to connect to each other I haven't appreciated online multiplayer as much as I should considering I lived through that

"It's so little, you can't taste the cilantro" Don't lie to me like that

Being Swedish means suggesting ‘let’s hang out sometime' every other month and then never doing it

It's just so cool how autocorrect changes correct words to wrong ones

My life is an endless cycle of "I need a vacation" and "I miss my own bed"

https://t.co/LyPBk0eCQN

DAMN KITTY, YOU WALK THAT FENCE OFTEN? EY KITTY WHERE YOU GOING LOOKING ALL GORGEOUS LIKE THAT

As a Swede, genuinely I don't know how I'm supposed to understand what week 38 means

Yesterday at the pool I jokingly started catcalling an actual cat like a construction worker would. To my surprise, the cat actually ran up to me. Felt like a dude who accidentally landed a pickup line at the club

Removed a wisdom tooth yesterday in Spain. Currently powered by Gazpacho only