𝜗 L꩜ST 。
@ichorsedge
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ⁱ⠀𝙂𝙄𝙑𝙀⠀IN⠀、⠀I⠀𝘼𝘽𝘿𝙄𝘾𝘼𝙏𝙀⠀.͟.͟.⠀ ⠀⠀I⠀𝕷AY⠀MY⠀𝑺𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗⠀𝘋𝘖𝘞𝘕⠀ANYWAYS ⠀⠀⠀⠀ALL⠀TO⠀𝙔𝙊𝙐⠀、@KUSARIGAM4.
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀I'M⠀COMING⠀、WAIT⠀FOR⠀ME !! ⠀⠀❛⠀somethin' bout you, now can't recall. ⠀
Joined April 2020
⠀⠀⠀⠀... patience yields focus. ⠀⠀⠀⠀INIMITABLE⠀;⠀WEAPON ⠀⠀⠀⠀❝⠀duly⠀NOTED⠀─┈⠀＊ .ᐟ
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⠀ .͟.͟.⠀alright. ❪⠀kai's eyes briefly widened hearing the last statement, but it's all he could muster as he draws stars on jay's back slowly. he took another deep breath, then out.⠀❫ ⠀
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⠀ ❪⠀kai quiets, letting himself listen and feel the heartbeats against his chest. holy madness, jay is here. with him. the realization is slowly sinking in as he's staring up at the space on the ceiling. the chipped paint doesn't irritated him anymore.⠀❫ ⠀
there will be if you don't keep quiet. [⠀he grumbles quietly, but his actions contrast his words as he melts against kai's touch. he only fully relaxes when they're on the bed.⠀] ... [⠀he nods, slow, against kai's collarbone. breathing out, slow and quiet.⠀]
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will we ever learn? we've been here before. it's just what we know.
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death has more in common with love than you could ever imagine.
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⠀ ❪⠀his hair had been wavering, illuminating the space as he decides to carry jay to the bed they shared. kai keeps jay on top of him, having a hand rub the other's back.⠀❫ then, let's stay like this for a while⠀.͟.͟.⠀just a little longer. ⠀
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⠀ ❪⠀kai watched the other, almost feeling some sort of sick deja vu. he runs fingers through the curls of the other, admiring the dips and softness.⠀❫ whatever i want⠀.͟.͟.⠀that's a lot, dove. is there a charge on that .ᐣ ❪⠀not that kai is complaining.⠀❫ ⠀
[⠀should the circumstances be different, kai would have been clocked. instead, the rogue simply buries himself into kai's shoulder, grumbling quietly.⠀] whatever. [⠀his voice was much quieter now, rough yet oddly soft at the same time. maybe it's the exhaustion.⠀]
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⠀ didn't know that you could be soft lile this to me. good to know that you can sing another tune to me, dove. ❪⠀a particular, unique oneㅡ perhaps that could only fall into kai's ears. kai wouldn't mind that. he adjusts his position to hold jay properly.⠀❫ ⠀
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⠀ ❪⠀kai simply hums a soft melody, chuckling and more surprised that the other didn't just straight up punched him or something. the mercenary sighed deeply.⠀❫ .͟.͟.⠀yeah yeah, you wanna lay down then .ᐣ we got some time. ⠀
[⠀a deep, shuddering breath, the rogue lets himself be held—he feels kai wipe his tears, lets himself feel kai's hands hold him. the exhaustion was seeping in, forcing him to stay put and listen to kai's words.⠀]
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one question haunts and hurts too much, too much to mention: was i really seeking good or just seeking attention?
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ㅤ ⠀⠀⠀🔥⠀ᯓ @KUSARIGAM4 .͟.͟. ㅤ⠀⠀
forbidden from the beginnin', i saw them there, up there! been like that since i met them, they said i couldn't have them.
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⠀ ❪⠀kai saved monsters before, ones that just started rebirth. in a sense, he felt jay was attempting to be born again even in this desperate moment. ⠀❫ .͟.͟.⠀jay, i am glad you came back to me. ⠀
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⠀ if it's pain to stay with me, i rather slay myself than ever think of raising my sword at you. if i'm not raising the sword for you, there isn't any point. i'd be contradicting myself. ⠀
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⠀ .͟.͟.⠀you're as mesmerizing as the day i lost you. ❪⠀kai mumbled, he hated how much he thought was lovely seeing jay all teary. it was cruel, maybe. but seeing jay suddenly just unwrap his wings into⠀.͟.͟.⠀this.⠀❫ ⠀
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⠀ calling yourself a monster to a guy who faced possibly a million of them is absolutely crazy. why would i hate and fear you .ᐣ ❪⠀kai mumbles, wiping the other's tears between his bandages palms. he couldn't smile, just watch how jay was unraveling.⠀❫ ⠀
𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪 𝘥𝘰. [⠀the words come out, quiet and raspy, like he was utterly terrified of revealing the fact. the grip on kai's hands tighten.⠀] and i 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘵. [⠀he hiccups quietly, hands finally retracting from kai's to wrap around himself.⠀]
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—— @ichorsedge
i would fall in love with you, but i can't it's too hard, maybe we'll just pretend
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⠀ sure, maybe my survival instincts aren't as sharp anymore⠀.͟.͟.⠀but those rough edges were only smoothed by you. i wouldn't lay down my sword for anyone else. i'm sorry. this is just⠀.͟.͟.⠀who i am. you may never see me the same, but i'll still want to be with you. ⠀
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⠀ .͟.͟.⠀i don't want to lie either because then i'll regret it, then start making the assumptions you so hate too. jay, you make me want to live. you already had revived me once when you found me escaping the land of monsters. ❪⠀kai looks away briefly.⠀❫ ⠀
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⠀ if i keep running away from danger, that's only gonna make me survive and not live. ❪⠀kai felt jay kept burying himself, he hated to lie to the other and that's hurting jay. it's not relieving anything, but what else could kai do⠀.͟.͟.⠀⠀❫ ⠀
[⠀tired tired 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥, that was all that kept going through his head. his lungs felt heavy, full of lead, limbs of steel, mind of concrete. he can feel and taste the dust entering his airways as he practically heaved and kissed the ground.⠀]
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⠀ .͟.͟.⠀jay, i love you. you might hate it, but i do. i do, i do. i'm sorry. ⠀
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⠀ .͟.͟.⠀you don't owe me anything at all, nor should you owe this shitty, mad world for anything. i'm sorry that you had to meet me. but i don't regret a second spent meeting you. i haven't or won't die because surㅡ living. living in a world just with you is fine. ⠀
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