Well, I won’t have the balls to do that again… #bottomsurgery #trans #transisbeautiful

https://t.co/ufKq0iG47j tough but important to talk about, especially in a week that has brought up so much ire around women in comedy. Thank you Marc Horne for speaking to me

Super to see Reece Lyons here speaking out about transphobia in the casting process. (We cast @reecelyons_ as Rosalind in our Shakespeare-inspired Fierce Sisters https://t.co/A3KvezJlDw in 2018 so we're not completely free of this criticism ourselves!) https://t.co/BDJzYQFF1j

Myself, @mariahlouca and Mzz Kimberley are in @guardian today, both online and in print! Theatre industry, do your thing and blow this post up! Cis people — listen up, or catch me outside! https://t.co/Pw6Gd4NoDv

Since coming forward publicly, I have received private messages from multiple women and other sexual minorities, sharing their experiences with this individual. I won't share details to respect their privacy, but I encourage others to come forward, if they feel safe to do so.

@threadreaderapp unroll

It’s easy to think that if you do so, your opportunity of getting the role may be taken away, and who knows, maybe that’s true. But believe me when I say, not getting the role might just end up being the best thing that ever happened to you.

Inform your agent. They can then relay the information to the casting director. This industry has a duty of care to protect you and safeguard your emotional well-being throughout the process.

If you are ever involved in a casting process where somebody is simultaneously conflating a work opportunity with a dating dynamic, set boundaries. If they disrespect your boundaries, or attempt to persuade you to alter them after you have set them, then please tell somebody.

I'm not sure how to end this, but I just want to say to any other young actors reading this, my message is simple:

Ultimately, other people’s willingness to change or unlearn their behaviors is not our choice to make. But in bringing the focus back onto ourselves, we can hand back the people who have wronged us their shame, even if it was never truly theirs to hold in the first place.

pain of what he did to me, I became the one hurting myself, not him.

And while, yes, I acknowledge that he hurt me, I also understand that there was no conscious intent to do so. And while, no, this understanding doesn’t in any way, shape, or form excuse or detract from the impact his behavior had on me, I realised that the longer I held onto the

And then suddenly, it clicked. People unconsciously recreate traumas that have happened to themselves in the past in an attempt to resolve those emotional wounds now.

In his book "Healing the Shame That Binds You," John Bradshaw writes: “Exposure to oneself lies at the heart of toxic shame. A shame-based person will guard against exposing his inner self to others, but more significantly, he will guard against exposing himself to himself.”

I often found that the descriptions of people with Cluster B personality traits, often from the perspective of non-disordered individuals like myself, typically reject the idea of change, outright denying the complete spectrum of humanity to the individual who is labeled as such.

It felt easier to pathologize him, at times. It even felt good. However, I began to notice how this way of thinking slowly started to contradict my belief that all human beings, even ones who have hurt others, have the capacity to change, to be better.

My vocabulary soon expanded, and suddenly I found myself using phrases like 'idealization,' 'devaluation,' and 'discard'—all terms that describe the hallmark characteristic cycle of attempting to form a romantic relationship with somebody who exhibits Cluster B personality traits

Yet, the more I began to engage with this type of content, the more vindicated I felt. Finally, I had the language to articulate all of the emotional chaos I had encountered with him.

I told myself that what I had gone through paled in comparison to what other people said they had been subjected to via online Cluster B personality discourse; many of which included stories of unhappy marriages, restraining orders, and even contemplations of suicide.