Seeing a video of guy who looks just like me screaming my social security number getting torn apart by wild dogs in CCTV footage on the For You page. I try to click it, but the feed refreshes to a Blue Checkmark 12,000 word post about how women invented taxes.

lately its been Bluey Chutes and Ladders

New spunchbob movie is dogshit </3

We're going to process tonight. I'll send you connect info around 10pm. Equip something sexy for me.

If I hit this dictation button after sending a text and it beeps and stops my music one more time, I’m gonna find everyone at apple and put them in a rear naked choke hold Even if I turn off dictation I somehow hit the voice note thing The send button should not have multiple

Off Tha Hezzy 🔥

bo7 lets u put a finger in their mouth when ur doing the human shield

you have a real stadium naming rights opportunity here @pncbank

trader: stewie please can i have my money back stewie: what is you talmbout

hit 12k hrs this week ✌️😔

🙄🖕

https://t.co/SIkXEID9X1

an adrianne lenker song would kill these people

my pub medic keeps winning the hold uber for 3 minutes then get backstabbed award

easily the hardest challenge so far

Americans: please I'm begging you I can't afford my electric bill Republicans: we're giving the lieutenant who murdered 34 villagers at My Lai a Smithsonian exhibit ✊

(ICE agent touches car handle laced with tylenol powder and his eyes roll back and suddenly he can count the number of patches on his vest) 🗣️ Four

a normal parent might've responded with "what makes you say that?"

Charlie Kirk’s crew talked flippantly about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce dying, suggesting the couple could have a “suicide pact” or that a vaccine could "make Travis Kelce drop in the middle of practice” which would be "more fun."

Charlie laughed. The co-host laughed. The crowd laughed. The murder of 400,000 people, and they think it’s hilarious. Now leftists make jokes about 1 man and its end of the world. Hypocrites.