Good pussy will have you feeling like Forrest Gump

A unique take that could only possibly come from a nerdy white boy who played trombone in high school jazz band

Snapchat memories are almost exclusively my ex this month and she just posted her new man. How do they know

Dudes in the LES will throw on this exact fit and immediately add “creative director” to their insta bio

Watching Tobey Maguire Spider-Man…. They would’ve had Norman Osborn in federal custody and/or shot out of the air within 30 min

So deep in my NYC lore I’m a blue collar worker cosplaying someone cosplaying a blue collar worker

Remember when everyone was saying “seems legit”? Such discourse has been lost on us.

No easier hack to getting steps in than walking in circles between sets

I have a drinking problem

Just witnessed a car accident… hammered as fuck.. called 911 told them I’m of no use

Why do my knees feel like they are going to explode after running when it’s cold

Some people lift for strength. Some to lose weight. Others to gain confidence. I lift exclusively for compliments from nurses.

You don’t need rest days bro just hit legs every third day

One month clean from weed😎

Addicted to making toast and leaving it in the toaster

Something about 45 drinks over two days that makes your body feel like absolute dog shit

I think my new aesthetic is Brooklyn dad

I don’t care how big (or small!) you are, wife beater in the gym should be punishable by death. We’re at equinox bitch wear your college team gear or alo

If God wanted me to stop hooking up with my neighbors he would stop giving me cute neighbors