liz ♡
@high4liz
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for $800+ a ticket, i better see Marvin in that fucking room what r u even talking about
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not my bitch goin viralllllllllllll
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how do i know you really like me if you don’t buy me Voight lingerie wtf.
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I’M FUCKING HOLLARINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG AT THE REVIEWS EVERYONE LEFT 😂😂😂😂😂
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and look at you. ready for lunch. in that green outfit.
My wife talking to me like ima side dude.
"Be ready for lunch. Put something on nice. Wear that green outfit I bought you."
She not just gon talk to me any kinda way. Ima grown ass man.
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i love when bad bitches get out relationships and start being even more bad like FUCKKKKKKK
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and there i was in the kitchen in 1920. sprinkling strawberry shortcake crumbs onna ice cream bar
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fuck is my paperstraw gonna do if we got rich people fucking up the ozone layer like this
More than 200 private jets departed Arizona airports immediately after the Super Bowl 🤯
(Reddit: u/Thinking4Ai)
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i need to stop remixing my passwords cause i be forgetting which remix i used 😭
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Lord, allow me to be rich in this life. i swear i won’t do no dumb shit
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if i don’t set 15 alarms i will literally not wake up, this is toxic
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putting this outside his crib without telling him and setting it to eliminate anything moving after 7pm. sneaky link who?
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someone said if she had an idea in her head it would die of loneliness cause she’s a fuckin idiot 😭
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another day of sucking the wrong dick
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blueface be teleporting, how he was in bed with chrisean at 2 am and then woke up in his baby mom’s bed at 2pm im weak as shit
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if he got a rainbow light up keyboard and two monitors 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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growth is seeing the mean girls in high school in your DM requests trying to sell you their pyramid schemes
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You gotta be a sick ass bitch to ask a nigga for a nut video
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i’d do anything to relive the feeling of watching Money Heist for the first time
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making my future son do chores cause i’m not finna raise a man child that his wife has to carry
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i really drove an hour from work to get birria tacos then drove an hour back home like there isn’t a fuel outage
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it’s tiring being the only one to put effort into planning things. like damn bitch the surpriser likes to be surprised too, tf
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i feel like there’s a couple of other things you can do before this step idk
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one thing you cannot be cheap about is your tattoos. that shit is an art
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@darrienh5
@Zmamye14
@JadeDaGem
there are plenty of women out there for you to date who dress more conservative, there’s no need to shame women who don’t dress to your standards.
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@Nolimitabdul3
@__shiaa__
what you need to do is stand in a jail cell right with him, fuck ass bitch
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let me stop posting red flags cause i definitely be fuckin my red flag
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you can be just nice to someone and they’ll tell people y’all talking 😭😭 man if you don’t go straight to hell
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last month, i was at Ulta buying these products and telling my boyfriend how much i love them, a week later i get a sponsorship deal with them :’)
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no but fr baecations are the quickest way to see if you really like the person you’re dating or not
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something about little kids wearing backpacks and the backpacks are too big for them 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 so adorable
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now if you do this, don’t ask why she’s in a tree outside your window at 2:30 am tryna look through the cracks of your blinds to see if there’s another female in your room
The trick is get her to the point she’s about to cum, make her cum, and... don’t fucking stop. Push her limits. That’s how to be memorable.
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i had 5 alarms on and missed every single one. i don’t deserve to be an adult
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i’d rather throw up into my hands then clap repeatedly than get posted by my boyfriend telling the world that he put me through hell just to prove i was solid to him
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last time i had casamigos i ended up with a traffic cone in my bathroom and a half eaten mango in the shower. do what you want with that information
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i still think about the time i had to make a presentation in middle school on how gay people were treated during the Holocaust and i really went up there, in front of my gay English teacher, and named the powerpoint “The Homocaust”
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a man who does everything to upgrade your life and make life easier for you is a man worth doing it all for.
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i tried with you. there’s more to life than sleeping in and getting high with you
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when he asked me if i was happy and if there was anything he could do to make me happier
when did you realize he loved you? let’s get some positive stories going
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we can’t date if you’re not obsessed with me. it doesn’t work like that
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i can’t work at a gas station cause as soon as i see ugly mfs taking pics of their wack ass fits i’m saying sum
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i will never fucking forgive or forget anybody who abandoned me in hard times. trust that
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so don’t call this number anymore cause i won’t be there for you like i was before
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“how the fuck you broke working 3rd shift. you not even up to spend your money” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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damn it’s bouta snow in PA sum crazy. not here in Spain tho, y’all stay up. ima keep enjoying brunch outside every weekend
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i should be on an island somewhere shaking my ass, margarita drunk by noon
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before i buy him a christmas gift, ima post a video of his room. let me know if you been in there recently or need to come to me as a woman
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i wish i could skip this part of my life and go straight to pure bliss.
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the one doing the elliptical backwards and the one recording it got me fucking weak we are in a simulation
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i hope one day my little sister forgives me for leaving a toxic household
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it’s 2021, find something else to hurt me with cause Ling Ling not finna cut it 😂 raggedy bitch
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i hate when he falls asleep before i can do our skincare routine with him. so you just finna skip poreplay like that ?
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i feel like instagram needs a better way to deal with people getting hacked cause them hackers be ROCKINGGGGGG y’all jaws
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if i ever stop dealing with someone, please do not tell me they’re indirecting me, posting about me, none of that. i don’t want to know anything about them anymore, and i do not care. respectfully.
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you’re corny if you buy your likes and followers 😭😭😭 it’s never that deep
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i leave every event early, i swear i’ll probably leave my own wedding early
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i can’t even like tweets in peace, here comes twitter exposing me to the TL 😒
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someone held the door for me and i was like “thank you” and that man said “no problem lil bro” ???????? THE FUCK?!!:!
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i prefer “so fuck me right”
do y’all say “good talk” when you say something and it gets ignored or are you normal
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