Lane Moore💿5/24 Seattle, 6/5 Boston
@hellolanemoore
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JOIN MY NEWSLETTER: https://t.co/u9DPU41qLx🔮Podcast: https://t.co/o1LBLOFvyA🎧Listen to "FINAL GIRL" out now💿🩻
Joined April 2011
SOME NEWS: Added a bunch of new dates to my tour!!! I'm bringing Tinder Live and my band's new album on the road!!!🍔Get your tickets now & spread the word🌞😘. April 26 - Boulder, CO .May 2 - Asbury Park, NJ l.May 24 - Seattle, WA.June 5 - Boston, MA . 🎟️
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Immediately stop with "he's neurodivergent he didn't know it was a nazi salute!" EVERY NEURODIVERGENT PERSON I KNOW, MYSELF INCLUDED, KNOWS WHAT THAT HAND GESTURE MEANS. And doesn't use it unless they mean to. Please be serious.
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breaking news: my dog Lights just hopped on this stranger's lap and they instantly fell in love with each other so they took these perfect photos of her and texted them to me. YOU GUYS😭
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imagine having enough serotonin left in ur head right now to recap your personal best of 2024, wild if true.
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Honestly in late stage social media I'm just throwing caution to the wind. We're mutuals? Cool, wanna be irl friends? Wanna fall in love? Get coffee? Collaborate? I'm asking! If this shit is dying and making us all sadder, let's take this energy irl. WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!!!!!.
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Netflix: are you still watching?. me with ADHD: oh I haven't been watching for hours just mind your own business and keep playing the show.
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They forgot the best part of going to Walgreens is picking out the shit you need, not being perceived, talking to no one, paying and leaving. So yeah, if you want me to ASK AN EMPLOYEE FOR PERMISSION TO UNLOCK DEODORANT? Cool then I simply am done shopping there lol.
Walgreens CEO says anti-shoplifting strategy backfired: ‘When you lock things up…you don’t sell as many of them’
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In my day, eggs were so cheap that once a year on Easter we just painted them and threw them away.
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Happy Thanksgiving to everyone with unsafe families, or no family at all. To people spending today alone for the first time, or the millionth time, and to people who have to spend today w/unsafe people. I promise you are not alone. Remember to take good care of yourself today.❤️.
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I swear the best feeling in this world is finding a new song you want to, NEED TO, play over and over and over again.
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I just had a guy on the subway try to talk to me when I'm wearing headphones and reading. He leaned over to tell me to take off my headphones. He did this THREE times. Men: This is your reminder if a woman is wearing headphones she doesn't wanna talk to you. And doesnt have to.✌️.
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Pretty rude that the best way for us to process all the trauma we’re experiencing in the world right now would be for us to rest, but our survival demands we work harder, which is impossible for many of us and then we feel like we’ve failed. To be clear: NO ONE IS BUILT FOR THIS.
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I just bought a planner that is going to CHANGE EVERYTHING (the person with ADHD said to themselves for the 40th time).
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saw these outside the subway and I like to think this gal said "fuck these shoes! It's international women's day. I'm wearing crocs!!!" and now she is free
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Janeane Garofalo and I were hanging out and a man said "Are you mother and daughter?" I told her "Hollywood needs to make that movie! A lot of my fans are HUGE fans of you!" She said "Well, you cant be a fan of one and not the other. It just isn't done"😭SOMEONE WRITE THIS STAT🎬
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Screw dating apps, I wanna find love the old fashioned way: get a job at a mysterious company that severs your brain, flirt a little, get to know each other in the office, and then eventually sleep together after they fucked my outie at the ORTBO.
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new year, new haircut designed to strike fear into the hearts of weak men🥀
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Waiting with bated breath for the final reveal: "HBO Max is changing its name to HBO.".
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We live in the darkest timeline I swear to god.
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Whoopi Goldberg looks like she crushed a Tesla to make this dress and that's probably the best use of a Tesla
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Happy Mother's Day to people who never had a mom, had an abusive mom, lost their mom, had to cut their mom out of their life, or their mom left. And especially to people who had to be their own mom. It's easy to feel forgotten today, but I promise you are not alone.💕.
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I feel like my reason for still being on Twitter can best be expressed like this:
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omg the CEO of OkCupid just liked me on Tinder what romantic comedy is this rn?!??
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matching this low effort Tinder guy's energy until one of us dies.
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🚨JANEANE GAROFALO AND I ARE IN THE NEW YORK TIMES TOGETHER😭😭I created a comedy show 10 years ago that my childhood hero loves, and Will Butler from Arcade Fire, one of my favorite bands, is performing with us too! I don't have parents, so PLEASE CLAP LIKE PROUD PARENTS WOULD!!
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Too many people act emotionally younger than they are. Emotionally, I am an old witch who has seen it all, lived a thousand lives. My closest friend? The sea. I cannot befriend someone with the emotional intelligence of a corn chip.
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This is so heartbreaking. Michelle Trachtenberg was so young and INSANELY talented. Name a more iconic performance than these ones alone. Harriet The Spy alone! RIP you genius, perfect angel. You had so much left in you and you deserved more from this world.💔
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FWIW boycotts work. Fuck anyone who says they don't. Most corporations will literally ONLY do the right thing when they see a change in their profits, they'll never do it out of goodness. Never. The only way to make them listen is to take away your money out of their wallets.
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You have no idea how long I’ve waited to say this: My sophomore album, Final Girl, is out now!!!🩸It's a record about finding reasons to stay alive + fight, even when you feel like ur in a horror movie with too many sequels. Dont give up. This is for you🤍.
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This has been one of the longest years of my life and it is February.
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DOGE cut 9/11 Survivors Funds and now republicans are mad? Yeah, idk how you're just now getting that someone who is hateful to one is hateful to all. And you should give a shit when someone is abusive to one vulnerable group, because they will absolutely be abusive to others.
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One of the highlights of my career so far.😇😇😇.
Doing a Girls rewatch and stumbled on @hellolanemoore as a boutique owner in one of my favorite episodes.
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I just did a podcast and the host told me "I love your band! It reminds me of Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Sleater-Kinney, your band reminds me of all the bands that made me bisexual!" and that's how you know you're doing life right lol.
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Shout out to everybody ordering delivery and taking an edible tonight. We are the true MVPs of Valentine's Day.🌹.
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Milchick really said "I'm serving cvnt and cult this season and in that order."
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Like wow who could've guessed that asking a customer to press a button and wait 10 minutes for an underpaid and justifiably annoyed cashier to unlock my deodorant like it's an automatic rifle, and then and only then can I get in line to pay for it, would result in less sales?.
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SOME NEWS: It is with the most joy in my entire brain that I say this: My band's 2nd album "Final Girl" will be out 2/14 on Mint 400 Records✌️This record is about having hope life will get better, even if everything around you is hell. Presave it now🩸:
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Y'all, I just did a radio show in the studio where they played my new record live, and I got to hear the DJ tell me how much she loves this record, why she loves it, and hear that she dances to it in her kitchen with her partner(!!!) I've dreamt of this moment my whole life😭🥹😍.
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If it's gonna be like this, then everyone should be legally allowed to punch El*n Musk at least once in the nuts.
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@hebennigatu Apparently we have some rollover minutes of trauma from 2024 that are still usable AND I HATE IT.
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Blocking a lot of N*zis and people who hate autistic people, who are suddenly coming out of the woodwork on my social media? Well, Happy Inauguration Day in America to me!!!.
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For years, when men demanded my attn like this I thought, "What if it's important and I don't listen? I don't wanna be rude!" Now I know it's *never* important and it's rude TO ASK A STRANGER TO TAKE OFF HEADPHONES because you feel entitled. Now I loudly ignore them. Recommend!!!.
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last night at my comedy show I told the audience my band has a new album out and people should check it out m, and my dog, who was sitting in the front row, suddenly barked, as if to say "She's right, It IS great! Good job mom!" and I almost cried it was so fuckin wholesome😭😭😭.
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I just found out my friend's kid gets a nap time every day from 12 to 3 PM and now I'm jealous of a one-year-old.
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WHY GIVE US THE INCREDIBLE CHARACTER OF ADULT VAN, WHY CAST LAUREN AMBROSE TO BE PERFECT AS HER, why give her a great cool job, and then give her nothing to do and then THAT HAPPENS?!? #YellowJackets 😭😭😭
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damn, it's hard being an email person in a phone call world.
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Some news: My book "You Will Find Your People: How To Make Meaningful Friendships As An Adult" is now available in Spanish!!! My feelings about this news can best be expressed in the words of Selena from the movie Selena, Me siento muy. excited!💕💕💕
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One of the most validating, surreal parts of ignoring men like this is you can literally hear their inner monologue of "hello?!? I'm a man!!! I wanna talk to you! Hello?!? Oh hmm she must not hear me because I'm a man giving her attention she must want it???" They are SO CONFUSED.
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Where you can find me uh long term lol and support my work💘:.Bluesky: Substack (funny things in ur inbox): Patreon (funny things in a podcast): Instagram:
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If you need plans for tonight that don't involve dodging your weird aunt, I'm doing a Tinder Live livestream TONIGHT, Dec 28, at 10pmET + late show 1130 ET!📺If enough of y'all come, I'm hoping to do them regularly🤘so spread the word and see you TONIGHT!🎟️
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I just saw someone staring at me when I was about to cry, so I looked up and smiled at them as A SINGLE TEAR rolled down my cheek!!!!! Where is my Oscar nod? I'll wait.
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Wrote about a topic very close to my chest: our culture's obsession with women's nipples, asking that they keep them hidden like a bomb that could go off any time, and who pays the price for that. Read it now on my 🍈🍈
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