My camera roll tells me everything I need to know about last night

I think I'm working on my cutest craft of all time

My mom called my haircut "sexy".... I'm unsure what to do with this

Not me having to come home at 8:30 am for a nap. How do people sleep w dogs in the bed? I don't see how it's possible to be rested.

A glimpse into my mental state is that I cried when I was uninvited from lord of the rings trivia night.

Being a supervisor is so funny because of course this guy called out on his last day of work and of course I want to be like I'm not surprised but instead I said "what about the children!"

Really into wedge salads

The week where my 2025 planner and 2026 planner overlap is causing me stress that I've never experienced before

I told someone I couldn't have plans because I have groceries being delivered and their response baffled me. Sorry I have to be home to greet my rotisserie chicken at the door, bitch!

if you order a Frito chili cheese wrap, they can tell. I checked, for inquiring minds.

Do you think Sonic employees are trained to identify people going through a crisis? Asking for a friend whose tears have dried.

In the Heat of the Night is the best television show of all time and I will stand by that till the day I die.

We gotta stop slapping "2" onto a sequel and think it works. nobody 2??? Come on, guys.

This has a typo but I won't delete because it's gaining traction (aka 1 like cc @kcarden92)

Friendship is just sharing more info than people asked for each time you talk to them and then it's 19 years later and boom, you're besties.

I enjoy a stain remover that works and a good nilla wafer.

You think you're cool but are you speeding past tractor trailers signing one direction at the top of your lungs in an off white Cadillac? No, that's me.

Dylan Efron is getting his BAG and I love to see it

Psych is one of the best shows of the 21st century, and you know it's true because none of those actors were able to recreate the same success afterwards

waking up is a lot of work

unfortunately i have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man