Please don't hate me @wingnut1974 ! LOL! #BlameMyKid http://t.co/ZoNULT3MMl.

Study says #dadbod not my fault #blameMyKid - blame your kid, win FREE custom t-shirt. Learn more:

"Google+ circles" I think people assume because I somehow have a Google acct that I know what this is - I apologize.# blamemykid.

I don't feel bad when I walk into someone in a public potty. You should really have that door locked 🤣 #blamemykid #idontfeelbad.

@stacysnook It all started when I was pregnant. #blamemykid.

Sorry but I refuse to run and break a sweat just to make it to my Monday morning meeting. #sorrynotsorry #blamemykid #workingmom.

@FulTimeStuntCok #blamemykid for that. Then blame a terrifying gigantic spider that I had to murder.

Shlomo's beatbox symphony last night, Flying Colors' retro hard-rock neo-prog tonight. #blamemykid! They are good tho'. .

@writingmiranda Oh no. #blamemykid.Avengers 4: The SpongeBob Movie.

Also wanted to add, great finally meeting @AndrewKnoc and @TheFabulousOne tonight. I promise, A., no more initials #blamemykid #stabbylook.

@SoulPunkerrKev BHAHAHA KEV STOP OR ILL HAVE TO COME TO AUSTRALIA AND KIDNAP YOU TO COME LIVE WITH ME lol and I will #blamemykid.