Evan J. Worthen Profile Banner
Evan J. Worthen Profile
Evan J. Worthen

@harambevan

Followers
3,169
Following
882
Media
386
Statuses
7,137

t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶i̶n̶c̶i̶p̶l̶e̶ a̶n̶c̶e̶s̶t̶o̶r̶ among the ancestors of the worst era of provo twitter

he/him
Joined January 2016
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
My girlfriend left a tampon at my apartment and idk where the left one is. Anyone know where I can get a single left tampon to keep a set here for emergencies?
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
Utah culture is knowing somebody whose mom’s roommate’s friend’s sister one time met Ted Bundy but felt a prompting from the Holy Ghost to not go on a date with him
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
Everybody say a quick prayer for Tom, my Airbnb host who, upon request to use his toaster, told me with pain in his voice that “she took the toaster when she left me”
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
I am a: ⚪️man ⚪️woman 🔘confused driver In search of ⚪️love ⚪️friendship 🔘lines on the roads in Utah during a rainstorm
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
Also if you have a few dollars, please consider donating to Days for Girls International to provide menstrual care products to people with periods. Your donation will literally help girls stay in school who otherwise would not be able to!
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
I have nothing to promote but here’s a picture of me and my cute girlfriend who approved the above shitty content before I tweeted it
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
The SLC police officer who just got arrested for storming the capitol was the “SLC officer of the year” in 2012. You seriously can’t make this up
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
My grandparents — LDS temple workers and former stake patriarch — are taking my cousin and his boyfriend to dinner later this week. This is love. This is ministering :’-)
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
ladies and gentlemen, we got em
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
6 years
I love the U but the problem is that since I've transferred from BYU I'm just not edgy anymore. I can literally drink coffee or bring up feminism in class and not be talked down to by 24 year old RMs and I kind of miss that, it's quite a rush
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
We live in a society
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
i'm about to graduate from UVU after transferring out of BYU and i just want to say that UVU has cheap tuition, small class sizes, a robust honors program, quality professors who care a lot, good student jobs, grads who go to elite grad programs, and attainable scholarships 🧵
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
this apartment complex in Orem is what I always thought the great and spacious building looked like as a kid
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
what in the farm fresh hell is this 🤨
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
Tofu isn’t gross you’re just cooking it wrong
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
GUYS THEY STARTED A GOFUNDME TO CROWDSOURCE THEIR FINES HAHAHA
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
“i love the church but i hate the culture” my brother in christ, who do you think created the culture
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
Donald trump isn’t actually orange it’s just that every photo of him in existence was taken by a Utah photographer
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
@zunijay @cncld4dncng the meatballs (meatcubes?) floating in a tupperware full of liquid butter is forbidden soup
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
None of you guys told me that the director of Murder Among the Mormons is the same BYU film grad who did Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre!! What!!
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
lord i have SEEN what you have done for others and i WANT THAT for the great state of utah!!!
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
My new favorite pastime is purchasing problematic 1970s-1980s Mormon literature from DI so no one else has to read it
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
Mitt Romney doing more work this week for Church PR than the Church PR department
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
Throwback to when the church photoshopped a famous Karl Bloch painting to censor two angels’ bare shoulders in the Dec 2011 Ensign magazine
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
deseret book: our content is an "endorsement" of the authors, which is why we need to comb through a black creator's social media posts for excuses not to publish him but are happy to give a platform to glenn beck, cleon skousen, tim ballard, randy bott, and conversion therapists
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
glad that i learned a certain song as a child that warned me of this exact thing
@TollyTaylor
Tolly Taylor
2 years
An unoccupied house on stilts in Rodanthe, North Carolina, as it collapses into the ocean this afternoon. Was worth $381,200 according to Zillow.
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
Mormon culture is having both sets of parents meet for the first time at the wedding
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
If I got cancelled I would simply hire whoever did the rebrand for the Riviera apartments after the meth lab
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
1 year
i'm at my brother's apartment in provo and his roommate is having a loud phone conversation about how god is teaching him to be more selective with dating by prompting him to break things off with a girl because she's gonna be a financial burden because she's studying special ed
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
The rain in Provo right now is just God baptizing the BYU losing streak to Utah
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
If you’ve ever used the term “eternal sleepover” to describe marriage then you’re legally not allowed to ever get married.
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
I think my brain is just broken but K***u getting chastised by dezn*t for inviting immodestly-dressed women to his covid rave is honest to god the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. like the pointlessness of this discourse is breaking me
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
@BYU Does this mean that the promises of the BYU Honor Code Director are void? In which he told a group of students that same-sex dating and expressions of romance are acceptable at BYU and not punishable by the Honor Code Office?
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
You mean to tell me that Kwaku’s girlfriend graduated from high school this year 🤨 and that he’s 25 🤨 and that the photos he tweeted of her are her HIGH SCHOOL GRAD PHOTOS 🤨🤨🤨
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
6 years
Lds church: we're gonna switch to a two hour blo– Exmormons: well I already go to ZERO hours of church 🤣🤣🤣 also did you know that joseph smith had 33 wives?
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
Why does young Bednar look like a lego lol
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
you think the shirtless dudes at K***u’s party were still wearing their garment bottoms?
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
@BYU This whole process has been absolutely shameful.
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
so I was in a DezNat Discord server (big group chat) for several months in 2018 and 2019. here's some of what I saw: 1/18 (thoughts at the end) cw: violence, rape, racism, misogyny, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, slurs
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
Ok folks I gotta clear something up: A lot of people are speculating that we’re getting married just to Dᴇʀғ This is NOT true! The REAL reason we’re getting married is so Julia can join the LDS Wives Facebook group Thank you for supporting us in this endeavor
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
Wishing Mormonism could move closer to "hosanna shout" weird and away from "30 years behind every social movement" weird
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
My brother who is currently on a mission has received so little information about the pandemic that this weekend he didn’t know what social distancing was and now he’s worried about martial law The Church needs to do BETTER to educate and protect its missionaries right now
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 months
just found out that the guy who wrote, directed, and starred in the new moroni movie was at the capitol on january 6th LIVE STREAMING THE INSURRECTION
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
@BYU These are YOUR STUDENTS — many of whom are depressed and suicidal because of your policies — who continue to get lied to and backstabbed by people who should be doing everything in their power to protect them
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
utah's abortion ban will go into effect any day now (not in 30 days) just know that utahns WON'T be breaking the law by getting abortions in other states and the closest clinics to salt lake will be in glenwood springs, colorado (5.5 hour drive), and las vegas (6 hour drive)
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
How many non-Mormons are gonna get my parents’ Christmas card and think there were two marriages in the family this year 😭
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
A weighted GPA except it’s what you would have gotten if you weren’t depressed
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
"If people are going to die, they're going to die." -Kwaku in a KUTV interview yesterday
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
Y’all remember those soap dispensers in the temple baptistery locker room showers? You’d walk in there with an oversized jumpsuit clinging to your cold, wet body and wonder what was in there. Was it shampoo, body wash, 3-in-1? Hand soap? I’ll never know.
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
Salt Lake Valley case rates vs. vaccine rates vs. racial demographics
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
now that biden is elected it’s time to start focusing on real issues, like abolishing the BYU Housing Industrial Complex
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
How do I tell my bishop that my ministering assignment has me blocked on twitter
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
mike pence being forced to watch Lady Gaga sing with his hand over his heart lol
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
we need a total and complete shutdown of byu idaho until we can figure out what the hell is going on
@_Kristine_A
Kristine A
2 years
In todays edition of ~wtf @byuidaho ~ college level Anatomy class puts censor bubbles because p*rn I guess (organs, the nervous system, and vein diagrams). I don’t censor these for my kids of any age, I can’t you guys
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
In case you see claims that KUTV is fake liberal news, know that KUTV is a news company ~based in Utah~ and owned by the Sinclair Broadcast Group, an established ally of Trump. The media isn’t “out to get” Kwaku, he just did and said stuff publicly and they’re covering it lol
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 months
my in-laws did their secret santa gift exchange today and my brother in law disregarded everything on my wish list and gifted me custom “to young men only” merch 😭
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
mormon high schoolers outside of utah are gonna be fighting for their lives next monday when they get back to school and they’re bombarded with “did you do any soaking this weekend” 😭
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
Boomer culture is having your iPhone 6+ go off at full volume in public and taking a full 30 seconds to turn it off
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
on god this is the saddest utah listing i've ever seen
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
When you’re hanging out with a group of Latter-day Saints and you don’t know if it’s ok to swear but then somebody tests the waters and drops a “hella” and then the floodgates open
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
my new favorite pastime is looking at the google reviews for Mormon churches in rural Idaho... should I make a thread
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
I anticipate that hell will smell like an LDS church bathroom
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
BYU culture is taking 4:20 snapchats despite not even knowing what weed smells like
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
two best friends in a room... they might kiss!
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
god bless her
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
bro, people who only use instagram are just raw dogging life with just 0 knowledge that a top-5 most popular byu professor called a former student of his the antichrist at 1 in the morning in reply to something tweeted by one of the ~numerous~ nazis he follows
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
That’s not your fiancé, that’s your spouse-elect
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
13 days
pitchfork hasn’t dropped the TTPD review yet because they’re still trying to work out the witness protection details for the poor writer who’s about to give this album a 6.3
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
Reply to this with a donation receipt and I’ll dm you a meme or something
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
jesus, what a paragraph
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
lds leaders: gender differences are eternal and fundamental; god made two genders so they can complement each other and we need both so they can teach each other from their own UNIQUE perspectives lds leaders every april and october: women may have one tenth of the speaking time
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
Gay Latter-day Saint is not a contradiction but hateful Latter-day Saint is
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
@BYU gg thank you byu for being true allies. this was really brave of you to light the y like that 🤝
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
White men don’t like reading books and essays about feminism because they can’t interrupt the author and play devil’s advocate
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
solving the drought by praying while my sprinklers dump gallons of water on my sidewalk every day
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
How do Julia and I tell our parents that we’re never having children because of the terrible mental health genes they passed on to both of us? Like should we make a group chat
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
What are y’all doing in August? ;) <3 💍💍
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
absolutely no reason for "kirtland" and "kirkland" to both exist in the same universe. it's too stressful. we need mormonism to fight costco and all agree to just completely erase one of those words from our collective memory. i can't keep going like this
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
I honked, did you?
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
ROLL CALL! Where are my fellow descendants of polygamy at 🙋‍♂️
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
We didn’t trust anyone passing us on the road to take our picture so we set up my camera with a tripod and blindly framed these photos and took them using the remote you can see in my hand in all of these
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
byu’s top religion professor telling his 37,000 followers to read a thread that analyzes the shape of joseph smith’s skull is the funniest thing that has ever happened on this app
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
matthew gong’s “my LDS apostle father is literally not an ally. please stop emailing him asking how to be gay and mormon” blog post has people asking a lot of questions that are already answered by matthew’s mention that his dad is an LDS apostle
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
Really wish we had a school in Provo with a private police force, a fleet of security workers, cameras in and on all their buildings, 30,000 students and a deeply-ingrained culture of ratting people out so that we could figure out who’s doing this
@ethanmwalker
Ethan Walker
4 years
Hey guys, white nationalists are posting propaganda on @BYU campus. These come in the form of stickers advertising a group called Patriot Front. This is a white nationalist group advocating for the creation of a white ethnostate by revolution.
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
these "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" "anti-government handouts" "personal responsibility" mfs
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
I’m reading the replies to this tweet and all of you need new boyfriends damn 🤧
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
i would never in a million years admit this publicly
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
Might go to BYU’s campus and start telling people that the University of Utah’s acceptance rate is now lower than BYU’s just to feel something
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
2 years
there's no way crumbl is complaining about copycats when they copied chip cookies a whole year after chip opened and crumbl's only initial innovation on the chip business model (of delivering a box with 4 massive chocolate chip cookies for $10) was... pink boxes??
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
White people will hold a candlelit vigil for Harambe but won’t protest against the police
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
probably my favorite take from K**** party gate was from this deznat guy who commented on the video from the party and was like “this is what I imagine it looked like on the boat to the promised land when Nephi was tied up and had to watch everyone around him be wicked”
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
5 years
While I was walking home from the bus stop I passed multiple anti-vaxxers protesting outside of BYU’s stadium (?) as mr brightside played in the distance. It’s gameday in Provo
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
Question for the people who put their Eagle Scout award on their resumés: what’s it like to have literally hundreds of employers knocking on your door every day? Like geez, can you save some jobs for the rest of us? Plz, our country has 40% unemployment 😢
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
y’all afraid to moan while I’m in my girl’s ear like “ᵗʰᵉ ᴹᵒʳᵐᵒⁿ ᶜʰᵘʳᶜʰ ᶦˢ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵃʳᵍᵉˢᵗ ᵖʳᶦᵛᵃᵗᵉ ˡᵃⁿᵈᵒʷⁿᵉʳ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵗᵃᵗᵉ ᵒᶠ ᶠˡᵒʳᶦᵈᵃ 😳”
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
you’re laughing?? BYU’s brightest scholar of religion is being ratio’d on the tl and you’re LAUGHING?
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
6 years
If any of ye lack wisdom, go to the comment section of any Deseret News article because you'll fit right in
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
100 likes and Julia and I will get our wedding cake made with funfetti
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
3 years
i mean it didn’t even take a single business day for Latter Day Cafe to get milkshake ducked into oblivion
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@harambevan
Evan J. Worthen
4 years
PSA The LDS Church is releasing a new handbook Wed. and Oaks and his wife are doing a youth-specific face 2 face event next Sunday (Feb 23) It’s speculated that both will have harmful messages for queer folks so prepare now by muting things on here and taking care of yourselves
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