Would make my absolute quarantine if the man himself saw this @liamgallagher C’mon LG x

Remember those fluffy white iced birthday cakes from Costco? Christ they were elite, been craving one of those bad boys since I was about 12 x

These past few days have taught me that Depop serves up a fair few wankers doesn’t it x

Anyone else’s mum pronounce 3/4 words wrong on purpose just to wind them up? Because Diane absolutely lives for it

Whoever owns that light blue eco corsa reg ending in ZX doing 12mph on a 30 for 15 lengthy minutes, fuck you, and green, funnily enough, means go not stop

That 50% less salt and sugar Heinz ketchup is absolute piss

Can’t get away from it ffs

Not as much as being shot with a BB gun @Davey_mo

My customer service voice makes me want to punch myself in the face, multiple times

Steaming on Friday night, screamed “SALAD IN A PASTY” In some poor lasses face n she was not impressed, however was fuming she didn’t respond correctly that crab

When you’re leaving Oxford Circus station and catch eye contact with one of the Youth Workers

Walking down Oxford Street earlier, this lad stops me and goes “You look like a female version of Steve Jobs minus the facial hair” Thanks pal, this is the exact look I try to achieve x

My mum just messaged my bro over in Australia specifically to inform him that Gemma Collins fell over

anyone else think dermot o’leary is spitting image of a volkswagen passat?

No turkey?! You fucking idiot, Jeremy! You total fucking idiot! That was YOUR job, you fucking moron! You CRETIN! You're a FUCK HEAD! That's what you are! A fucking SHITHEAD!

Two French ladies just tried to pay with 1 pound NOTES ffs, Sorry love we don’t accept these I’m afraid, we’ve progressed slightly since 1985 x

How have we managed to bag ourselves jobs in central this close to one another ffs @ahctahch @_katieelliott after work bevs? Go on then x