gunk
@grogemcf
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love the way quebecois people say “what de fuck?”. you know what etienne i kinda like u.
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toronto news is like.
group of 11-year-olds charged with the battery and murder of 92y.o. single mother of 19, owner of cat shelter
and mtl news is like
quebec man arrested for throwing half eaten muffin at child, jumping out of bus
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the five cities in canada are moncton, antigonish, sackville, truro, and aulac
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regional public transit etiquette is so funny. in mtl people will line up politely to get on the bus but cannot grasp the concept of waiting for people to exit the metro train before you get in. the opposite is true in toronto.
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never hook up with a girl who gets posted on on_a_downward_spiral. worst mistake of my life
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*flirting with girl in intro to feminism class*: Love the leg hair, by the way
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being on your phone while changing lines at berri uqam is like merging onto the highway backwards with your eyes closed
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misgendering me is chill when its the guy at the shawarma place calling me brother
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imagine if that canada covid tracking app had done anything for anyone ever
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saw a girl on the metro drafting a huge paragraph text message in google docs and her friends were editing and commenting on it. whoever the recipient is, it’s over bro.
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sometimes when im at a party someone will flirt with me and my girlfriend will supervise me so im allowed to flirt back a little. as a treat.
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pretty privilege but its when you look sad all the time and people feel bad for you
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in protest of Bell lets talk this year i will be neglecting to take my meds for one additional day per post i see about it.
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gf didnt know who boygenius was so i told her it was phoebe bridgers drain gang
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a girl called me daddy in bed the other day and i didn’t know how to tell her i’m nonbinary
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hey guys i’ve been hearing people (me) still using he/him pronouns and i just want to remind people (me) that i use they/them! so if all of u who have been messing up (only me) could try n remember that thx
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last night i was eating chicken alfredo, today i received notice that i’m being renovicted. just goes to show you
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getting my head knocked clean off by an stm bus rearview mirror as it pulls into the bus stop
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you guys could just wear overalls with no shirt underneath. it’s not that weird. it doesn’t have to be a costume u could just wear it whenever its totally cool
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there should only be 5 guinness world records.
fastest
strongest
biggest
smallest
longest breath holder
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saw duster on their recent tour and before they started playing they said “hey kids :)” and then killed the show - speaking on behalf of bands gaining huge new audiences and demographics is weird and gatekeepy. drummer also stayed to talk gear to a bunch of teens afterwards
i'm gonna be real with you. none of these bands need tiktok. duster and pavement went viral on the platform and their shows were FILLED with kids being annoying as shit, barely watching the bands and filming tiktoks/playing roblox "as a joke" during their performances.
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most audacity in the world goes to people with “SWAP ONLY!” apartment posts on fb
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doing a job that can only exist in montreal (vhs camera post-punk concert videographer)
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joking and chatting w the deserres cashier as they sign me up for a membership card (my pockets are full of stolen markers)
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there should be a dating app for people who know who genis wit penis is
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twitter thread:
coriolanuscreampie: watching the hunger games is fascist because ur basically spectating the games
peetachip404: what an idiotic take lol. obv not the same. wish i could see the capitol kids game.
random ai:
Beautiful Italian Girl with White Shirt on Riviera
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just got an email from a sheridan animation student asking my rates to score a short film for them :))
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getting home and dejectedly emptying all the dungeons and dragons stuff out of my bag (my group was too hungover to meet today)
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every time i go on indeed it shows me this and it feels like it's calling me a piece of shit for not having a job.
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so many runners from the montreal marathon on my metro this morning. seems like cheating but what do i know
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“players, please step forward and state your pronouns and one fun fact about you. we will go in order of your numbers. i will now repeat the instructions.”
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dream job is being the guy that decides what the temperature “feels like”
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just got home from a 9.5hr shift and then everyone decided today is the day we get scared of covid again
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the two famous YA love triangles are so bizarre in retrospect. emotionally unavailable vampire vs pedophile wolf. short king vs guy who blew up your sister
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first base is sex
second base is seeing each other before 9pm
third base is using sex moves learned from reddit
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listening to the boygenius album so i can hate on it accurately. why do they credit boygenius as well as all of them individually on each song. we know.
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being prepared is so underrated. i will always have a couple tylenol in my pocket. a sweater in my bag. a little piece of rope. at least 2 notebooks
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bell lets talk this bell lets talk that. bell let’s talk about why you can’t get any bitches 🤨
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cringe and embarrassing to be nice to me but not to my gf . accept the package or move along
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guys be honest if i dropped a banger folk ep would u listen or would it be kind of cringe
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customer asked me for a pad and was so normal chill about it so i was like yeah for sure this isn't weird let me go check the staff washroom. turns out she asked for a Bag.
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things that happened to me today:
1. grandparents got scammed out of a lot of money by someone pretending to be me
2. prof told me i’m failing a class with no way to pass
3. different grandparent asked me to buy art from my ex for her
4. slept through a dr apt at 2:15pm
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will never understand why all bathrooms dont have constant white noise playing to disguise the farts and shits
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her: you gotta be in aulac, new brunswick if you think we fuckin 😂
me:
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can’t escape the desire to enter a used book store and buy 2-5 sci fi novels from the 70’s
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yall fostering cats from the spca or is there a secret indie cat fostering place
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just got scolded by my bus driver for jaywalking to catch the bus. she wagged her finger and said “c’est trops dangereux”
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2 most powerful vibe toxins are
-mom in a bad mood
-guy on bus playing music out loud
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ate two bean burritos and then got in the hot shower. refried those mfs
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its always so horrifying learning that someone has to get up at 6am to go to work. but it will happen to you.
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who else doing the “Get Coffee with your High School Ex Girlfriend Who You Matched With on Tinder & Decided it would be Funny to See” challenge⁉️
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roommate comes home at 3am and digs through the fridge for sauces like an alchemist looking thru tinctures and concoctions
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texting your ex because you found a song that fits perfectly on one of their themed spotify playlists is a completely normal and sane thing to do
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