“Gather around Holding close your sons and daughters Promise them that we will all be alright Let them know you love them all Talk to yourself Let your essence be the answer While we chase the meaning of who we are Navigating through a storm” Soen - Lotus (2019)

And if you fancy something a little more self contained, or for up to 6 of you… look no further! https://t.co/1SbOrf7xqj

Cheeky weekend away. Highly recommend this place if anyone fancies a little Southern French hospitality. And so close to so much history in Carcassonne and the surrounding area. https://t.co/ZXyPALnfW3

Here's a little clip of "You've Got a Granddaughter Now," a song from #AMountainForElodie, my new show, currently playing at the @edfringe through aug 27th.

Transferred my old number. Didn’t work, had to redo 3 times with customer service. Added an inclusive extra. Didn’t work, still waiting on a fix. Set up the app, continuous errors. Logged in online, continuous errors. How have you ever won anything? 🤷‍♂️

So, X-rated, stick with the Bird, or delete… ? To be honest the world on here is getting much smaller and the bubbles more extreme. If it wasn’t for #musictwitter, #queenfans, the odd #nerdgasm and one or two friends, I’d gladly run away!

@AmazonUK Now they’re not even on the road. And they’re miles away. And it’s still saying they’ll deliver within the next 10 minutes. I think @AmazonUK are lying to me. And, given the amount I’ve spent on their platform, that hurts.

By this time you’re not sure if you’ll shoot the @AmazonUK delivery driver when they finally get to you, or hug them, soaking their uniform with your floods of tears of relief. And then you remember there’s a deal on that thing you liked. And you see it’s on Prime…

Even the delivery window is changing now. Only 5, 10, maybe 15 minutes… but it’s always in the same direction. Later. And then it stops. But the countdown doesn’t change? Has the @AmazonUK app frozen? Or are they just messing with your head now?

The @AmazonUK route planner’s laughing at you too. They know you know the van had to pass you, literally outside your window, to get to there they are now. And they know you realise what that means… The fecker’s put your parcel at the end of the loop.

And you sit there. Watching. Regretting that move to country for a quiet life as you watch the green dot on the @AmazonUK app crawl, slowly, to every croft, farmhouse, lodge, and cottage in a 10 mile radius around your place. And there are so many of them. Countless.

And it stays that way. For hours. And you notice that the green dot on the @AmazonUK app that represents your parcel spends longer and longer in one place. The fecker’s teasing you. They know you daren’t go anywhere. Just in case. So they just park up, probably smoking a doobie.

Was he on foot for the last two 🤔 Then there must have been some online update, combined with a drone delivery to the @AmazonUK delivery driver, and the message changes to “The driver has to make a few more deliveries on the way to your address”. WTF 🤯

It got to “7 stops away” this afternoon and the driver must have decided to take their lunch between 2pm and 3pm because it didn’t change. For ages. It eventually dropped to “5 stops away” after another 45 minutes, but the dot on the @AmazonUK app didn’t move.

I’m not sure there’s anything quite as frustrating as the facility to track drivers on the @AmazonUK app. The painful progress, watching the “X stops away” countdown inexorably towards “Your stop next” when, all of a sudden it changes…

Requirements: Good noice isolation/cancelling. Fairly flat, wide, response. Over ear. Suitable for long journeys/sessions. Light/strong. Comfortable. Not overly hot on ear.

Okay music peeps!! My Sony noise cancelling over ear headphones have finally given up the ghost… 🥺 They’ve lasted years and I totally loved the sound; fairly flat for music headphones, no over pronounced bass, and very comfortable. Looking for recommendations for new ones.

😕

Oh, and I didn’t take a photo of the spreadsheet with staff numbers, full names, locations, team, web name, and more… 🤦‍♂️ #gdpranyone

I stopped listening and put on my NC headphones after that. Had at least 8 names and plenty of usable info by then. No matter how secure we make our systems, the fact people seem to have forgotten about personal space and being private will always leave a way in. #humanfactors

as was the company which has had a name change and the projects and teams for the strategic change… 5 minutes. That’s all it took. Oh, and they used their company emails to log on to the public WiFi and registered for email updates. #securityisnotadirtyword