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Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody Profile
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody

@GovKristiNoem

Followers
877
Following
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Media
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Statuses
91

Ex-Governor of South Dakota, Currently Secretary, MAGA, Mom, Wife, Rancher, Parody, Christian. Titus 1:16

Joined July 2024
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
1 month
@trthmttrs2023 Because I can afford to?.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
1 month
TO WHOEVER STOLE MY BAG, count your days and also KILL YOURSELF.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
4 months
Your point? I saw the problem, I got justice. That’s my job and will be my job.
@BriggsWarrenSF
Briggs Warren
4 months
Your friendly reminder that @KristiNoem sought retribution against the high school girl who took this photo of her. Noem will soon be the Secretary of Homeland Security.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
5 months
The left never fails to show their stupidity. There’s an entire ocean to put out the Palisades Fire, yet California doesn’t get it done! “There’s no water” LOOK TO THE WEST.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
10 months
Nothing better than a glass of #LiberalTears… 🥛Except maybe #SouthDakota 😄 #Yep #ImGovernor
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
7 months
Thanks for making me defense secretary I’ll keep us safe from .*checks notes*.Puppies not out of the nipping stage.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
7 months
This announcement from Donald Trump just shows that Women truly can achieve anything. Next step: cucking my husband and making him watch from the Homeland Security chair.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
2 months
So called feminist leftist.
@Suzierizzo1
Suzie rizzio
2 months
Remember when MAGA flipped out because Jill Biden gave Joe a $7,000 watch for his birthday, but have no issues with Kristi Noem wearing a $50,000 watch to ICE raids! 😡
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
9 months
@flinniesdream @justice_Tyr22 I have a husband.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
7 months
Elon Musk is welcome to goon in the glorious state of South Dakota any day.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
Notice the position of her arms splayed out. Almost like a cross? She is ascending up above her body and looking down at the people below. This is trying to IMITATE CHRIST. SHAME on you, Taylor Swift! . EXODUS 20:4-5 READ THE TRUTH.
@PopCrave
Pop Crave
6 months
The ‘Eras Tour' has officially ended.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
8 days
Please, the only thing fake is your genders.
@CantEverDie
onion person
9 days
yuuup. people are catching on that this was fake.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
8 days
Maybe more Americans would know the meaning of Habeas Corpus if schools would teach them about our glorious government instead of PRONOUNS and DEI and WOKE NONSENSE.#MakeEducationGreatAgain.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
4Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: 5thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
2 months
Trigger discipline and obsessive gun safety is a myth made up by gun-hating liberals who want to take away our right to bear arms. The gun does not need to be aimed at the ground if YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING. I have been a farmer, Hunter, & gun enthusiast since I could HOLD ONE.
@SenRubenGallego
Senator Ruben Gallego
2 months
Kristi Noem doesn’t know how to hold a gun or run the Department of Homeland Security
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
4 months
In your dreams, Lib.
@JeremiahDJohns
Jeremiah Johnson 🌐
4 months
It begins
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
Fuuuuuuck~.
@mjfree
Morgan J. Freeman
6 months
OMG!!!!
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
7 days
@BrettSt53978938 I didn’t wake up at 3am to get this username for nothing.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
5 days
Nobody’s even heard of Jared Moskowitz, but I’m supposed to care about what he thinks of me? Don’t make me laugh. Just another person punching at government officials for attention and liberal “street-cred”.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
Gun Violence is only okay when I do it #BrianThompson.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
7 months
I am getting numerous complaints about the award I revoked from the National Guard last September after their work at the US Mexico Border. You served another state’s mission. Do something great for our state and I’ll reward you. It’s like an internship. Unpaid, but appreciated.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
Oughhhh my stomach is soooo big and round rn oughhhh ohhh it’s grumbling grumble grumble mmmmmm im soooooo big rn soooooo big and round fuuuuuuck 🫃.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
#Wicked … the truth is in the title! I hope every South Dakotan thinks twice before viewing it. WITCHCRAFT IS NOT WELCOME HERE. PROTECT THE YOUTH
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
So much outlash regarding @elonmusk’s communications with Russia. Do we not want to harbor good relations with other countries? What happened to loving everyone? So much for the tolerant left.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
Next time we build a pipeline, I’m putting it through each tribe’s land unless they unban me.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
10 months
South Dakota’s ads are different. They reflect our values, which are American values.
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@KristiNoem
Kristi Noem
10 months
This ad by Tim Walz’s tourism department is the most radical woke ad I’ve ever seen. They will try to sell this man as a middle-of-the-road mainstream Midwesterner. They’re lying to you.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
Is the death penalty legal in NYC? Bring him to South Dakota if not!.
@keloland
KELOLAND News
6 months
NewsNation’s Alex Caprariello and Ashleigh Banfield spoke exclusively with prison inmates who called for UnitedHealthcare CEO shooting suspect Luigi Mangione to be transferred to Rikers Island in New York City.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
5 days
Suck it.
@David_Leavitt
David Leavitt 🎲🎮🧙‍♂️🌈
6 days
This is a government account
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
I had gay sex I’m better now.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
God bless the nation’s police officers for finding and locating Luigi Mangione. Such violence is abhorrent and not welcome in our country. He’s lucky he didn’t try this in South Dakota, or he wouldn’t have made it as far as he did. #GodBlessTheNYPD.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
9 months
@JohnKunnari @martyjackley Looking into this.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
10 months
@realDonaldTrump isn’t scared to debate @KamalaHarris and neither am I!. When I come back from Texas, I’ll be sure to set up a debate with her and show her the strength of a South Dakotan Spirit
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
1 month
@pradawonki I mean I do the same except I got an official username.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
Every morning I wake up and have to sign more bills to revoke more rights. Fuck my stupid Baka life but someone has to do it.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
10 months
@NatureDoc27 @DennyWill14 @Menards A governor can’t serve more than 8 years in a twelve year period. They failed to vote me out. I get to leave on my own terms.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
7 months
Bit harsh 🥺.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
9 months
@JohnKunnari @martyjackley @SDCanvass Will do. I will see if I can find time in my schedule before Labor Day. You do good work for our state. Keep at it.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
*Criminal .Typical idiotic leftist can’t even spell.
@JoelKaskinen
Joel Kaskinen (he/him/his) 🟧
6 months
Probably Ronny D or Kriminal Kristi but there’s so many terrible governor out there right now. These four are nowhere near the top of the list.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
7 months
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
6 months
If Caitlin and Vi don’t fuck in every position imaginable in Act 3 of #Arcane I’m blowing up Mount Rushmore.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
1 month
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
10 months
@Irishboi777 @KristiNoem Maybe their lack of leadership led to their downfall?.
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@GovKristiNoem
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem parody
7 months
I dont have a bit I'm gonna kms this is so stupid.
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