Gormlessly
@gormlessly
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World Champion Dishwasher Stacker 2012. Global Ambassador for Cockaleekie Soup. Disgraced Former President of The Mork & Mindy Fanclub.
Joined February 2009
As someone who has been vegetarian for 7 years, the massive shish kebab I demolished earlier suggests I'm now entering the 'full on fuckthisshit mental breakdown' phase of my 40's. Goody.
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I've downloaded that other app. I am consumed by nostalgia and expectation. Same handle. God I hope there's nudes.
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But, contrary to expectation, the future was not bright. And it was definitely not Orange.
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Good to see the youngest doing her old man proud at her school disco tonight
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All of my plans for today have been cancelled before I've even gotten out of bed. I've never tried crack but, as an introvert, I imagine the feeling is similar.
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Wait til someone tells him about the subset of accountants, propping up a system that profits from helping the most wealthy avoid paying their share of tax. Alas, this is what everyone else is up against.
This is what we’re up against. The Labour Party, a subset of lawyers, criminal gangs - they're all on the same side, propping up a system of exploitation that profits from getting people to the UK illegally. I have a plan to stop it. Here’s how 🧵 https://t.co/ez3rYIU0uQ
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See. This used to he golden content. What happened to you people?
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I had to ask someone their name 4 times today. My brain is so full of 90's footballers and song lyrics I should be registered disabled.
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Nobody: LinkedIn: Hi, I'm Rex and I'm a super successful dude. Your profile is intriguing and I'd love share ideas. Can I call you tomorrow at 5.45am after my open water swim? @StateOfLinkedIn
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Wtf?! Come on. Anyone can do it with a satellite tracking system for help. It's the ones that made it without the tracking system that deserve the applause. Jeez.
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I'm going to be boycotting Pointless Celebrities and Not Going Out today. Nothing to do with Lineker. They're just really shit.
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I think we can all agree that you don’t mess with a man who once pooed himself whilst playing in the World Cup.
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Government saying @GaryLineker must be impartial, but if he tweeted in agreement with their gruesome, half-brained ideas they wouldn't bat an eyelid. Their issue is that he disagrees and people respect his opinion. So now they're shutting him down. That's fascism in action. #MOTD
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