MONEY MITCH
@gladstoned420
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dispatches from the gutter / alt @1800ghostman
Weird winds of Ontario
Joined April 2021
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the only jobs are: serve drinks to the worst people in the world, excel, advanced excel, outlook, dispensary manager, unemployed (good), unemployed (bad), a trade where you work the worst schedule ever conceived
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a beautiful woman should never have to use Microsoft teams
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It’s time
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We are in a crisis of bad taste
the flippers who destroyed this mid-century basement bar get the wall
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Since everyone’s talking about 30 ROCK, I’ve been thinking about this joke a lot lately for no reason
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how the average Ontario guy dresses when he’s trying to get laid at the bar
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Absolutely maddening. An entire family destroyed over something as low stakes as an LCBO robbery.
#Breaking
: Grandparents, infant among 4 people killed in wrong-way police chase on Highway 401 in Whitby
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Huh sounds like we should probably stop means testing this shit and let every Canadian get dental care
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don’t really understand how banks work in America, in Canada there’s like 4 that you have to choose from and you kind of just do it based on what colour you like
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I don’t want to see anymore “cancellable food takes” … god has blessed us with a beautiful bounty of delicious meats, vegetables, grains and spices .,, I love them all and will not disparage any of them
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Unrealistic! No way the Guelph police know how email works
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This is so cancon coded
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I don’t have to try too hard to imagine the suffering of Christ today thanks to
@TimHortons
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You can find the most fucked up people on here and their location will just say “Toronto”
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Please liberate the people of Canada !
China's housing minister says real estate developers must go bankrupt if necessary.
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I can’t wait to apply for MAID here 💜
NEW - This is what an already complete ServiceOntario outlet looks like inside an Oakville Staples. It’s located in between a display of printers and office chairs, and at the back of the store meaning you have to pass all the merchandise. Taxpayers funded this.
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Her: you can control what I wear … what I eat … who I talk to
Me: * completely unable to decide these things for myself * uhhhh wear .,. carhartt t shirt and ASICS, eat … Italian sandwich, talk … uh you can send a text that says “beers?” to Steve
Now that it’s been a while I’m going to admit that this was real asf and she’s sooo me and didn’t deserve the hate for this
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that’s cool, we won’t get to retire at all hope that helps 💜
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Trying to not be so fatalistic but how can you really be optimistic about the next 5-10 years in Canada
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Boomers giving job interview advice is funny … like you did one interview in the late 80s and now you’re the VP of a small grocery chain. I did 50 interviews in a year to prove I could use excel.
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Socialism is about yelling at a Canada post employee for no reason after discovering something that everyone with a brain cell knows
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The babe will rule Southwestern Ontario with an iron fist
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the McDouble is perfect for hikers, hunters, sailors, mountain climbers, extreme sports athletes, and anyone who pursues an active lifestyle
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Ron MacLean: we open the season in the big apple, and cabbie you are the apple of my eye tonight as the bolts look to avoid becoming apple sauce under the lights of MSG
Cabbie: a great way to get some breathing room during a recession is to deposit money into a bet365 account
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Drunk driving is now legal in Peterborough
No Peterborough Transit service past 7:15 p.m. on New Year's Eve.
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Please help a fellow worker fight an UNJUST speeding ticket
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@milfnokids
Pacific bluefin tuna are heavily overfished ... eating the mystery fish is environmental praxis
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Diet Coke actually has many of the tasting notes that people value in some natural wines
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I am stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. I was pierced for the transgressions of my fellow man
@TimHortons
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Not me I am decidedly just “some guy” and that’s good with me ty
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Brilliant work by the boys in blue, no one else could figure this out
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damn Toronto really needed that
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The”Toronto doesn’t have a sound” delusion is very funny to me after being in LA for 10 years with every almost artist I worked with asking me to make them a Toronto sounding record.
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Kelly: Stützle has really filled out, his body is looking thicker than half and half cream
Ron MacLean: mark messier would drink half and half cream on the bench when he was leading the rangers of New York City, what a leader of men
Kevin: I would still dummy him
Ron: terrific
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Bobby Ryan is about to be invited on the Joe Rogan podcast to talk about wokeism in hockey media.
Bobby Ryan: you really can’t say anything anymore
Joe Rogan: right … so like what is Spartacat? Is he like a lion?? Jamie pull up Spartacat
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Made this to help clarify some of my tweets, red area is Toronto!
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Sorry mom & dad you’re not getting grandkids, you didn’t build generational wealth that’s on you
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Someone really looked at a freshly newborn baby and went, “im going to name you Jean Chrétien”
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My sore back needs this I can’t sit in a park raw anymore with no back support
Ａ tiered design lawn in Shanghai, with shady trees overhead, a favorite for office workers to take lunch breaks.
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sun roof open in the Honda … Jays hat on … fresh cup of Timmy’s sludge … doing 40km over in a residential area. yeah I’m thinking it’s the start of GTA guy summer.
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Don Cherry: GOOD CANADIAN BOY HUGE COCK FROM BURLINGTON BOY I TELL YA W’AT THEY KNOW HOW TO LAY THE PIPE OUT THERE NOT AFRAID TO GO IN THE DIRTY AREAS LIKE THOSE SWEDES
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Watching Brady go off at the bar and thinking that John Tavares has probably never listened to music in his life
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a lot of Canadians complaining about increased theft, have you ever tried not having any assets? owning nothing of value? pretty good hack imo
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people who say Canada has no culture have never been here
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you date her right after moving to Ottawa. she is working on an art history degree. She works as a museum guide. You go to black squirrel with her. You confess your love after 5 Sunsplit IPAs and smoke poppers out of your roommates bong. Then its over. you could have married her.
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Barrhaven mass murder is so upsetting, thinking about the right wing psychos who are already turning this into a “look what diversity brought us” gotcha moment, and because the victims are also Sri Lankan, white Canada will move on quickly from any kind of mourning
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Bobby that tweet shows you have “ingrained or institutionalized prejudice against women” (the definition of sexism) by claiming that women’s sports are not real (when they are real, they are on TV!)
I will take $90k and $10k can be redirected to my good friend Frank Senators
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Lake Ontario, Lake Michigan … notice how there’s no Lake Quebec ??
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We have created one of the most vile societies imaginable
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Sutcliffe: if tourists aren’t able to eat weird over priced variations on poutine without seeing visible signs of poverty I will kill myself on live tv
Ottawa citizen; this is the mayoral candidate we need
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2016 Ontario politics was like: Kathleen Wynne is trying to kill craft beer !!
2024 Ontario will be like: Doug ford has donated all fresh water lakes to Nestle in exchange for a promise to build 100 apartments in Vaughan and to hire two welders
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Guys I went on a date im in the bathroom and she just told me “you have literally said nothing normal” taking another dating hiatus for 6 months
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I’m the king of boundaries… don’t be inconsistent and then expect me to play the “fat friend” ✌🏻
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Hello beautiful women who are using Microsoft teams, my name is Mitch and I have very good dental and health benefits, let’s hope those meetings end early today on this beautiful Friday 🙏🏻
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