how a woman will look at you when you send her a schizophrenic rant at 5am

too many years!! it's like, one after another gimme a fuckin break

Yesterday at church the Bible readings started on page 66-67 of the missal, and my 5-year-old went absolutely nuts repeating "six seven" like 10 times. And now I think we need to make this narrow exception to the first amendment and ban these numbers forever.

two dirty martinis in and I'm crying in the bathroom at hotel coste because the guy I'm here with told me I "didn't strike him as a horse girl"

Been there, done that

calling peoples opinions of me "fan theories"

Happy thanksgiving to all of my fellow Americans as we continue to battle for the future of our republic.

normalize literally spending 4 years at art school and then saying you're "self-taught"

normalize telling someone to "shut the fuck up" when they're coughing

Not to bum everyone out, but can we get a reality check here? It gets worse.

@kenmichela I'd crawl through 7 miles of broken glass just to suck your dad's dick so I could get a taste of the recipe that made you

Every word of the year since I graduated high school

employment is a spectrum

"Every work of art begins with a question. In her paintings, Stern asks: 'What if a woman was hot?'"

centuries ago i would have been worshipped as a divine oracle

i been sayin

I got big decisions…

Education is the real revolution 💯

@Rainmaker1973 pain

chat, should i give the guy who gave me scabies another chance

i do love women but if the caption on the pic of ur slutty halloween costume is more than 2 sentences long: shut the hell up