Two weeks until all those studiously impartial pundits start screaming about someone putting two train coffees on expenses.

Official Ministerial Little Red Rucksack.

Three Range Rovers and a police Range Rover. I'd get an electric bike and if security can't keep up that's their problem.

All political programming to be replaced by Top of the Pops repeats for the next year as a national period of recovery.

Edge taken off by all the union jack sock wankers so it's no 1997, but it'll do.

I thought the Supervet was cancelled for being toxic?

Richard Whiteley would be so proud of what she's become.

Imagine dealing with printers as your job. Broken man central.

Anyone free for a pint in Rotherham on the 18th?

Hang on, "...and together we can 'Push the Button' on a reset of the country! Ladies and gentlemen please welcome etc." actually works.

I will never not pause what I'm doing to punch the air when the drums come in.

"...it's a folk song in a way, how it gets passed through the years"

https://t.co/j14ELNZvjS

9/ All eight #Detectorists covers available as a pack of postcards from here: https://t.co/b6ZudvpdcV

Sugababes so popular it's become dangerous to have them around. It's a shame we don't have electronic voting systems here otherwise 'Push the Button' could be #1 next week.

The forces of good are fighting back

'Complaining to Lidl on social media that it was missing parts on Christmas morning' aesthetic.

"Includes various mechanisms on environment pieces for dynamic play"

CLUE 2: The first time I heard it was on a drum and bass radio station and the DJs 'did a rewind' and played it twice and it blew my mind that they were allowed to do that.

KEN BRUCE: I suppose we should be grateful, but these people love the wrong version of which drum and bass classic?