forest fr1ends
@forest_fr1ends
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Following
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no affiliation with sylvanian families.
past dreamland, second left.
Joined May 2016
sure, she could’ve left some money under your pillow, but actually i for one, really admire the tooth fairy’s honesty…
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- Siri? what’s my notification? - [A SHIPMENT IS DUE TO ARRIVE TODAY, INCLUDING TIT CLAMPS, LATEX FIST…..] - Terry! - [SPECULUM, LUBE, A BOOK CALLED ‘BUM FUN’…] - Terry…?!
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- louise who i went to primary school with 42 years ago and haven’t seen since, has posted a picture of her clutching a mug with both hands, with the caption ‘pumpkin spiced latte? rude not to …’ - f**k life, i’m going to bed…
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- anything yet? - nothing.. - well this is thoroughly humiliating, the partition is only half an inch thick…
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- fancy doing mushrooms with me? - no way, remember last time you tore up the skirting boards in the bedroom screaming that you wanted to find a fraggle and f**k it…
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- i dragged him out of bed screaming this morning. he made himself sick,he even shit himself to try and get out of going back to school. - shame. you’d expect better given he’s head teacher…
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- why is there a rubber willy in the drawer? - well sweetie, since daddy died in that terrible accident, i need comfort. - but he’s downstairs watching telly. - don’t ruin this fantasy…?
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- getting it up in one piece is challenging, but pushing it out again feels AMAZING… - i just eat mine. i’m more of a traditionalist when it comes to toblerone…
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well lisa, clearly i didn’t pull them down far enough, and now it’s lying there nonchalantly in my gusset like a turd hammock…
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bad news is the hamster’s dead. good news is that it’s soft, clean and smells like a summer meadow…
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- anything yet mrs bainbridge? - ah, yes now i see it. - great. well i hope that helps to explain what a ‘gloryhole’ is...
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- oh grandma, what big eyes you have. oh my, what big hands you have, what big teeth you have. - wow, well thanks for stopping by you body shaming piece of shit…
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Day 12 of the summer holidays… and counting.☀️ 🛍️ https://t.co/aF1eq1zbMo
#funnycards #Summerholidays #forest_fr1ends #kidsart #masterpiece #Binit @forest_fr1ends
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- it was a prolonged and frenzied attack your honour, causing blunt force trauma to the skull and killing the victim instantly. - how do you plead mr mallett…?
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- dad, what were summer holidays like when you were a kid? - i found half a porno mag once, fisted into the hedge round the back of budgens. lost the whole summer wanking myself half blind…
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A cautionary tail 🐇. Not all 💨 are created equal. 🛒 https://t.co/nyAOF2QJT7
#funnycards #staycool #toilethumour #acautionarytale #nevertrustafart #forest_fr1ends #PoolParty #puttingthepooinpoo
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The Supreme Court will hear Wolford v. Lopez, a major gun rights case over Hawaii’s ban on carrying firearms on private property without express permission. The ruling could redefine how Bruen applies—and the limits of state power under the Second Amendment. | Stephen P. Halbrook
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please don’t be alarmed, and i assure you it was not intentional, but i think…. i have a toe inside you…
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- i’m back mummy. i’ve been to narnia and met a fawn and a white witch, and mr & mrs beaver and— - jesus christ, wake up terry, she’s found our ketamine stash…
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