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@flacko_2_
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Last Seen Profiles
Asuu please now, my sister's in a private school and they'll be resumin' next week. if she goes, her own part of the house chores would be added to mine. Please the surface of my right hand will soon start to decorticate.😭
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Children born between 1990-2001 were the last of the elite kids. No cap.
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i remember when wizkid carried the whole industry to his show last year and left bbn housemates to attend the headies😭😭
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When your family members won't stop barging into your room without knocking:
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Who listens to Khalid here ?????
And what's your favorite song by him 🙂
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I'll slap you, so that the spirit of catfishing will swim away from your body, nonsense.
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First of all they don't do the same genre of music.
Secondly, koffee's toast made more waves than dumebi 🙄.
Thirdly, you are just a jobless mofo.
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The more I get to see tweets like this, the more I realize why Noah let only Animals board the ark, Childish mofo.
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@itsmirfreestyle
Imagine bragging about unlimited WiFi, when your neck could be used as a kneestool at any moment.
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Ebola seeing Corona achieving things it couldn't.
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Who listens to Jhene Aiko here
And what's your favorite song by her?
🙂
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Nobody
ten years old Me trying to fake short-sightedness in the hospital so I'd start wearing glasses:
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A friend of mine told me his brother took this on the day of his graduation, and when they called his name to come collect his award he was in the crowd clapping effortlessly.
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*Me after hearing that my guy that I always sign attendance for, is on a 4.8Cgpa and I'm still on 2.8 and then I realize that there are other things involved.*
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When you were the only one facing punishment in a math class and then your partner in crime decides to offend the teacher and join you for the culture:
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I'll never forget the day,my bio teacher was about to flog two girls. He asked if anyone was willing to take the cane for them. Two of my guys who were crushing on them stupidly came out and took the strokes.Our bio teacher then asked the girls to come take theirs.Wasted effort😭
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"if you think you're doing me, im sorry for you. I already have my certificates ,so if you like, don't attend my classes."
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When you're kneeling down outside the class and you see all your friends laughing and having fun without you:
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the way this guy curates lengthy tweets anytime wizkid breathes, you'd think wiz stole his eraser in primary school.
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Girls that smoke would always want everyone to know they're a stoner, they feel it's an achievement:
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When you're 18+ but they wouldn't allow you to play truth or dare cos they think you're underaged.
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Those people that bring their plates when you're almost through washing ,have three more years to live, nonsense people.
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Same way you zoomed in on her face to find a blemish in her, is the same way you should zoom in on your life to find out if you have any worth or purpose in life , which I perceive you don't, if you had , you wouldn't have had the time to do this.
Dear DJ Cuppy,
I don't mean to be rude, but teeth whitening procedure can never cost up to 1million Naira. I'm sure it'll even cost lesser abroad. You are a multimillionaire and a figure, you need the white teeth and you can afford it. Don't be stingy please. Thanks. Love you.
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I swear, you'll come out with flying colors in all the exams you've written.
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*if you've not paid your school fees please come out*
me and my unserious friends:
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wannabe alté guys after forcing themselves to finish one track off Subaru boys:
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he's released three already and none touches soundman lol.
I have full confidence that Rema could make a better album than Wizkid
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I was ironing one day ,when I mistakenly put my hand under the iron, I screamed ferociously, My mum rushed to my room, the first thing she asked was," Come, what have you done to my iron"?
I answered," ahn ahn , it's my hand that got burnt" My mum just said okay and walked away😭
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Me: I'm bored
Them: try not to be bored
Me:
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Nobody:
Nigerian mothers when you reply them in a disrespectful manner in the car and they know they can't reach for your face at that moment:
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i need Rihanna on that wiz's no stress joint. pls
@wizkidayo
make it happen 🙏,
@rihanna
abeg that short man no too day read tweets. Abeg run am for we🙏.
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thread of some epic wizzy performances, i no see the 02 arena own o. make person drop am for thread for me.
future brings in wizkid in his 02 arena concert:
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everyone's saying lazarus>system, not because they've listened to them both, but because wizkid's on system.
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His fans can be easily identified, they have this froggy nature, they feel noise is silence and silence is noise.
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When you brought a bad result home and your dad says you should bath first before anything would happen:
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You can only listen to three of them to get through quarantine?
Which are they?
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The face I make when someone's telling me a story about myself that never happened:
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Hey Chelsea, I'm from London.
I'm an arsenal fan, but we could still play a derby. I'll protect you from wolves , just imagine us under one roof listening to blues, I'll buy us a car diff- erent from all others. You'll be at the wheel not like an ole but like a messi-full girl.
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me showing up for my exam after trying to read five of my textbooks at once the night before:
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The day I broke this thing in my house, was the day I discovered dustbins can never be trusted. Don't ever trust any dustbin guys, they'd expose you right before your very eyes 😩.
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Teacher: Stand up, go and sit next to Amanda.
Me:
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when your dad told you to hop in the car so y'all can go have fun, only for you to see the car headed for the orphanage home nearby:
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In a Nigerian home the moment you're caught laughing when you're sick, e don be for that sickness .Instantly you'll be asked to go and wash the dishes.😂
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*my crush sends vn*
Ode, big head, when will you have sense like this*
me:
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When you're with a chip in the exam hall and the lecturer decides to use your script to correct a question:
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Which of these adult cartoon series do you think is the funniest and which has more adult content?
1 The Simpsons
2South park.
3 The Boondocks
4: Family guy.
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So because a girl commented " my ovaries" on a picture you posted, you went to her dms and told her "I'm the guy you said "your ovaries were bubbling for". Are you not mad my brother?
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Davido don leave music, na slangs e day into now 😭. omo, see watin MIL do😂
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*When you enter Ss3 students class without greeting*
Ss3 boys:
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in an alternate universe, wizkid finally drops made in Lagos and has a song with JayZ . the cycle is complete and it has created world peace.
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When your friend says something stupid in an argument and he wants you to defend him:
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When you checked Google for the nature of your problem but you don't have data:
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Indian men will not kiss in movies, they'll be acting as if they're the "chosen ones". But when they come on Facebook and Whatsapp, they'll not let our girls rest with naked pictures.
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WL Giveaway 🎊
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.
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Would you yourself want to marry a girls?
Marry a girls who when she's pregnant her ass will be bigger than her stomach, 😪
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when the doctor's the first son of the patient and the old man didn't write a will before trying to die:
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Some people have turned it to bournvita that they mix milk with.
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"bro it's me emeka , we went to the same secondary school, don't you remember"?
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Artists like odunsi ,Boj and ajebutter are all underrated.
Nigerians prefer to listen to rubbish........those done by Mr frog
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When they gave a deadline for payment of fees but they extended it immediately you used yours to bet:
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Dear LOL, LMAO, LMFAO, LMFAOOOOOOOO, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.
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I'm hills, ik you would love to be rich, we can get hooked up,so we can give birth to "the rich kids of Beverly hills."
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dear
@ASUUNGR
, i beg you in the name of God, end this 7months+ strike. please my right hand has successfully mastered the art of washing the back of a pot without using an iron sponge😭.
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I entered a bus travelling to warri last week. As the bus was about to move ,a woman started preaching with this topic *"Prepare to meet God"*.
She then asked," I know we all would want to meet God today, is that not so?
I jejely came down and asked, "you and who?"
😂😂😂😂
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Nobody:
No fuvkin soul:
Short people when asked why they're not growing :
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Simi I don't have Gold , I'm not a bad guy, but I can give you more than enough Gold, Gold that adekunle Gold with all his money has never given simisola , I'll be bad for you, badness that falzthebadguy couldn't use to get simisola.
Just know , " Local Boy needs love too".
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you can't possibly achieve happiness if you still stay with your parents.
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Girls should be confident to tell their boyfriends who they've had sex with, even if it'd result in their breaking up.
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"I'd rather squat with my friends off campus than to stay in the hostel". Naso you take turn household chef
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When you're a marlian and you passed through the gate instead of jumping fence
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Friend: you'd be able to drown your sorrows and pain when you drink this liquor.
Me :*successfully drowns them for the night*
Sorrows and pain coming back the next morning:
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I'll beat you blue black ,so that you'll return this picture to the rightful owner, no be only indoor, na indoor games, nonsense.
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