David Blowie
@fart_exhibit
Followers
141
Following
21K
Media
403
Statuses
6K
Finding the matching lid to a Tupperware container like "u thought u could hide from me"
0
0
3
[IG reel montage celebrating someone's life after they passed in a horrific accident] Me: *opens Spotify to download the song in the background*
0
0
1
I met my younger self for coffee today She kinda stunk like shit ngl
0
0
2
Someone snatch me up and make me miserable before I go and download a dating app
1
0
0
Got my feelings hurt by a grown man who uses the term "situationship" and brings up breathwork in every other conversation How many aura points did we lose gang
1
0
3
I don't trust people with new years resolutions. Wdym ur not tryna just be better than yesterday, every day
1
0
1
Just remembered a time I accidentally hurt my dad's feelings
0
0
0
People who keep bobs burgers on all the time all just want 2 things: 1. Puns 2. Parents who love them
0
0
1
Sometimes a poop is so intense it makes me feel like I'm going thru werewolf transformation
0
0
1
Today's donutscope says it's gonna be fuckin awesome
Sometimes I go to Dunkin and ask for "any random donut. Whatever you have too much of right now" and I treat it like a horoscope. Today I got pink frosted with sprinkles so I think it's gonna be a homer Simpson kind of day
0
0
5
I might not be a great artist yet but I know I'm surely on my way based on how crazy (in a not cool way) I am :)
0
0
1
when tswift starts rapping about sucking dick and cock, i’ll tune in!
1
3
9
Would you give a mouse a cookie even if he freaked it
0
1
4
Guy with a pill habit but can only take them if they're hidden in a hotdog
0
0
4