Bisexuals of the Blade
@fancy_foxtrot
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The bisexual sword wives: Smol wife, Tol wife and our noodle dog children, Udon and Soba-- just trying to live our best lives.
Joined December 2019
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Hello Twitter -- a friend of ours posted a photo of our wedding and we were surprised how it blew up. Thank you for all the positive comments! We've decided to share some more photos.
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My wife does a very specific walk when she's browsing the ice cream section of the grocery store.
I think it's really cute.
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I was making tea and my wife passed by and went to sniff at the tea leaves.
Me: "I thought you didn't like chamomile?"
My wife: "I didn't. But you drink it all the time so the smell reminds me of you so now I like it."
Me: *dies*
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I want to show off my tuxedo! We changed into more comfortable outfits for our first dance (which yes, did incorporate our swords). My wife doesn't dance, so it was an accomplishment getting her to do it.
Our first dance song was "Love like you" from Steven Universe.
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Cursed behind the scenes photos of my wife's dress devouring wedding guests.
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We went to a funky high tea place— My wife wants to show off her lolita co-ord.
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Hey guys, we wanted to say that if you see tweets in regards to our friend who posted the original photo, she was unaware of our sexuality at the time of posting.
None of our friends would engage in bi-erasure, and we wanted to clear up this misunderstanding as soon as possible
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Wow-- there's no way I can respond to all you awesome people. I need to go to bed!! Before I say goodnight, I'll leave you with one last thing: yes, we did cut the cake with a katana.
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We either live in our pajamas or fashionably extra outfits.
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This is the romantic declaration of love I received today from my wife.
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I’m realizing I may be a little clueless... back when we were just friends, I gave my (now) wife a chicken drumstick bouquet at an anime convention. Just cause...?
I seriously cannot remember why.
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My wife took a choux pastry course— the first photo is her classmate, the second is my wife’s.
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Another random cursed video from Japan I found on my wife's phone.
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We were going through old photos and found these ones of our 2nd dating anniversary we spent at a fancy hotel.
My wife actually did the thing where she asked for a framed photo of fried chicken to be waiting on the bed.
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Alright. Here’s my wife’s cursed proposal video. I will supply no explaination, enjoy the ride. Questions later.
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Here's a (not so) secret: Our 'actual' wedding anniversary is in April. We signed the paperwork and got married during a charity event where hundreds of couples were tying the knot.
So. We've been married for a year now.
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Me, under 3+ blankets this morning: "What if.... I just become the queen of Blanket Land?"
My wife: "Queen of Blanket Land has no income."
Me: "Dammit."
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SURPRISE! We’re back from the honeymoon.
I’ll slowly share photos/stories as time goes on... But first— We both need some sleep.
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I'm letting my wife play Breath of the Wild and she's just running around everywhere picking up mushrooms.
All I hear is the pick up item sound and a cute little 'heh'.
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I wanted to surprise my wife with flowers, but everywhere was red roses and baby's breath (which is fine, but not her jam).
The last place I went to was a gay florist who was sick of making Valentine's day bouquets and we went ham making a funky arrangement.
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So it's our first wedding anniversary.
I sat down across from my wife and said, "Time for our annual review. What did we do well? What can we improve?"
She says, "do I get a raise?"
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Breath of the Wild update: we're sharing the game. I'm very story driven and my wife just wants to forage and explore.
I unlocked the whole map and kill all the enemies for her and she's upgraded all my armour and makes sure I have good food.
Married life is great.
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Let me tell you about the time Udon jumped onto the kitchen table, ate my breakfast (which my wife made for me!!!), then was too scared to jump down and thus had to wait for me to come down and rescue him.
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Alright. I’ve gotten my hands on my wife’s phone. Get ready for the Cursed Tea Party Videos.
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Next up in the cursed series: "My wife is an absolute monster."
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Soba likes her new dog bed.
We saw this bed in Japan and just couldn't resist. IT'S A KOTATSU.
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I must make a confession-- I'm more of a ranged combat bisexual.
(We went axe throwing for my bday a while back.)
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My wife is a monster!! Soba is just a puppy, so she's in her nippy/teething phase. Whenever Soba nips at my wife too much, she'll (gently!) bite on Soba's ear!! 😱
Soba looks absolutely horrified when this happens. I shouldn't laugh like I did.
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Meet Yuki-- we went to the Osaka Aquarium and got this lovely lady.
We didn't name her, that's the name of the seal she's modeled after. SHE'S SO SOFT.
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I realized that we never shared our snack haul from the honeymoon.
.....we both really like snacks, okay?? We bring an extra suitcase pretty much just for snacks-- then have a big welcome back snack sampling party with everyone.
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WOAH. We hit 40k followers??!!
Welp. I promised my wife that if we hit 40k, I'd post this old video from when I first tried on my wedding dress. SAY NOTHING.
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For size reference.
Udon is a hecking chonker. That, or my wife is very smol.
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Last weekend of the year! Guys we survived a lot of stuff. Dang.
Even if you're not where you want to be yet-- celebrate where you are/that you're still here. Even just a bit.
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Smol wife is displeased at the ratio of Soba to Udon photos. When I asked her to send me some more Udon photos— this is what I got.
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My wife and I share my Sp*tify account. We usually leave the house for work at different times, but today I was stuck in traffic and she left early.
When my rock playlist turned into anime/kpop, I yelled "car's haunted!!!"
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Okay so. My wife owns these two anime body pillows. They get in the way and take up more than half the couch. She will never get rid of them, I know this.
So our compromise was to string them up in the basement ceiling so that any guests sleeping over would see them.
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Wow. I don't know what you're all doing here but since you're here-- admire my beautiful wife!! I love her!!!
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Storytime-- My wife and I were supposed to meet at my brother's house for dinner. I have the key to the house, but my brother and I were running late.
My wife was hungry, so this was what we found. I photographed her shame.
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Storytime: So there's a neighborhood cat we've named Shadow Assassin.
My wife was/is low-key scared of unknown felines. This is video stolen from her phone of the vicious attack.
(If you don't hear from me again it's because my wife murdered me for showing this)
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This season is a mixed bag of emotions.
To some- Happy holidays and happy new years! Enjoy the break and food and family/friends.
To others- Stay strong and take care of yourself however you need to. This too shall pass.
Sorry for being serious. Have some more wedding photos.
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My wife is distracted by food so I can steal her phone and post her Japan food photos.
Soufflé pancakes are so good!! We recommend Happy Pancake and Micasadeco Cafe.
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I turn around when I hear my wife whisper: "C'mon Udon. Eat the fish. Go for it!!"
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Storytime- last summer, my wife was out gardening, I was napping. Suddenly I hear her yell "Hey you! Get out of here!" So I run outside, ready to call the police.
Turns out a raccoon was trying to eat her koi and he just. Wouldn't. Leave.
I snapped this photo of the standoff.
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Okay so I'm a little tipsy and my friends convinced me to post the wedding pole dance photos.
Basically there was a weirdly placed support beam in the middle of the dance floor.
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Ask and you shall receive-- here's our amazing bridesmen and their sword bouquets.
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Lush Lab in Harajuku - my wife and I use a lot of Lush products. So when we saw this store, we could immediately tell the products were different from usual. A lot of them were Harajuku exclusives-- we had to hold ourselves back and only get a few.
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30k followers? 30k followers?????
Wow. Okay. Time to dig up and post my wife's proposal video. It's very cursed. Stay tuned.
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She’s mad at me for uploading a poor quality video for that last one.
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Animal Crossing update-- I've noticed all our married friends who share an island built their houses side by side. I built mine a river away from my wife's.
She's got 3 snapping turtles in front of her door and scrap items littered everywhere.
I'm happy with my neat garden.
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Meet the Queensglaive-- Order of the Bisexuals of the Blade.
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Carpe diem is latin for yolo... and memento mori is yolo for goths.
Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.
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Do... you guys want to see more wedding related photos? We have plenty we wouldn't mind showing off but-- is it weird?? I don't know why you're all here???
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So my friends and I did all the decorations ourselves, we're very proud of them and I'm going to show them off!
The one feral bisexual friend who made our veils/cape also made most of our silk floral arrangements in one night in a drunken rage.
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I see this post float around-- THIS IS MY WIFE AND I.
SHE'S MEAN. SHE BULLIES SOBA, who is an angel and can do no wrong.
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My wife’s shoulder is so magical???! It’s so nice and soft?!! Like I stick my face to it and I’m knocked out INSTANTLY. Can’t sleep at night? Dig out the wife’s shoulder from her mountain of blankets and BAM, works better than chloroform 😩😩
(It’s still smol wife)
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I present to you, my two most beloved beans.
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My wife doing a set of weighted squats at home. Nothing to see here.
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We tried to make that omurice where you split it down the middle and it covers the rice.
It didn't work.
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I have a confession to make: there is no Tol or Smol. We're the same height. Every photo you've seen of us together, I'm standing on a box of potatoes.
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Soba has discovered peanut butter.
She loves it.
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I tried to steal some of my wife's dinner last night. She grabbed my chopstick, snapped it in half, then continued eating.
I love this woman.
(Note-It was a cheap take-out chopstick)
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I'm off visiting my brother for dinner and this is what goes on when I'm not around!!!
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Storytime: wedding dress shopping part I
So you already know that we ordered our dresses online in the end. But we still went to a boutique for the whole experience. We let our bridal party choose one dress each for us. Here's my finalists. What do you guys think?
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MY WIFE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. I LOVE HER.
(Old photos of her 2B cosplay from Nier Automata)
*I have no new photos because my life is Animal Crossing right now
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Last summer we cosplayed from Heaven's Official Blessing, a Chinese novel.
1st photo by
2nd Photo by
@rorinlencos
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yo this is smol wife, check out this nerd I call wife
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I swear, every plant my wife grows becomes massive.
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I still cannot believe fanart of us is a thing. It looks great! Thank you.
I saw these Sword Wives and I loved their dresses and swords so much that I had to draw them...I want to one day be this badass
@fancy_foxtrot
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Udon?? I don't know him. Soba's the best.
I love my dog daughter!!! Look at herrrr.
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In a story I read somewhere, there was a line... "some people have a bit of the night sky inside them... and that's okay."
There are nights I'm sad for no good reason, and I mentioned this line to my wife.
She snuggled closer and whispered, "you swallowed too many stars".
T_T
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My wife is scolding me for forgetting to post these yesterday!! Happy (belated) Halloween the First!
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Winding the clock back a bit-- we didn't know what to do for our engagement shoot and the internet led us to the idea of smoke bombs! Our photographer was super game.
Photo credit:
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Nuuuu. Soba was supposed to go in to get spayed, but her period started last night so we need to wait. She was so mad at me for not giving her breakfast this morning (in prep for surgery). And now she hates us because pants.
I hate them. They look so ugly I can't help but laugh.
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My wife just chilling in the background.
Looking like a cryptid.
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I've stolen my wife's Switch while she's binge watching Altered Carbon and am playing Breath of the Wild. It's so good!!!
The landscapes are breathtaking. Cooking is addicting. I keep going off path to forage. I have a lovely horse named Night that I feed all my apples to.
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MEANWHILE. My wife is off on a date with Toadious. I'm so jealous.
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My wife dragged me downstairs to hang out with her while she played videogames. I curled up on the couch and dozed off, when I got up she freaked out because she forgot I was there. Rude.
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Check out this terrifying dog toy I got. I didn't want to get it. But I couldn't stop staring at the horror.
Also, it was 50% off.
...Soba hates it.
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I don't think we've ever shared our dogs full names-- Sir Udon Wigglebottom and Lady Soba Snortsalot.
My wife wanted to call her Soba Soggypants due to the time she peed herself at the dog park. But I vetoed it. Snortsalot was a compromise.
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I got some of my random sewing projects done. My wife is better at sewing, but I have more patience to finish tedious projects.
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More Osaka Aquarium videos.
Grass eels are so cute.
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STORYTIME - How my future wife defeated the 10 demon lords of hell--And got engaged, I guess. (1/7)
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Today I learned that my wife staples papers at work ANYWHERE ON THE TOP. Top right corner? Top left corner? Middle? *screeches* ....Off-centre??
It's like I don't even know her. Our marriage is in jeopardy.
(It's not. I'm a drama llama.... but still!!!!!)
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Our garden is getting a lot of attention lately.
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Old photoset: The Cursed Tea Party.
Videos to come soon (once I can steal my wife's phone).
I can't really explain this. I just think it's hilarious and cursed.
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