Fake Bob Motzko
@fakebobmotzko
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The 15th Head Coach of Gopher Hockey. Back-To-Back B1G Champs. Learned everything I know from @fakeHerbBrooks . 2023 NATIONAL COTY
University of Minnesota
Joined March 2018
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Last Seen Profiles
This is a different team from the previous 20 years. This is a team that plays together. This is a team that is disciplined. This is a team that wants to be Gophers. This is old-fashioned Gopher hockey. These guys are winners. This is your team. This is Minnesota’s Pride On Ice.
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Can both of these teams lose at the same time? Is that a thing? Asking for a friend.
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Hey
@NCAAIceHockey
- Please set up a rotation for future
#FrozenFour
sites-
1. Tampa 🏝
2. Vegas ☀️🎰
3. Phoenix ☀️⛳️
4. St. Paul 🏒🏠
Just these 4 locations. In perpetuity. No where else please.
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Saw a UND fan get stuck in her beach chair today.
My day is complete.
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Herbie’s dream- every Minnesota school in the NCAA Tourney
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I got guys scoring tonight that I didn’t even know were on my team.
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105
Taking off the “fake” montra for a few minutes.
Words cannot describe the sorrow I feel tonight. Coach Woog was the man that got this young kid excited for
@GopherHockey
. He will be missed.
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7
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Things to do today:
- Wake Up
- Breakfast at Perkins on Gulf to Bay BLVD (Chocolate chip pancakes)
- Yoga session
- Conduct final elite coaching prep session of the season
- Dominate.
- Win
- Put on new T-shirt and hat
- Pose for picture at center ice
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Update- It’s over alright
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Delete this picture. 🥹
Don’t miss all the thrilling, fast paced action at the NCAA 2024 Men’s Frozen Four in Saint Paul, MN on April 11 & 13 🏒
🎟
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St. Thomas Academy shall be a formidable opponent tonight. Hopefully all their players were able to get their parents to sign their permission slips.
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Time to focus on the only sport left in town that has a winning record. Hockey. Time to really focus on the top-ranked team… MY GUYS
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Too many men on the ice for
@BadgerMHockey
They have 5 skaters, a goalie, and 4 guys in stripes all against my guys.
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70
Imagine being a fan of
@UNDmhockey
AND living in Grand Forks.
At some point you’d have to think to yourself, ‘Where did I go wrong?’
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Like a North Dakota farmer’s daughter-
She ain’t pretty. But I’ll take it.
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Welp-
Looks like the only team that will be worth following for the next 7 months will be
@GopherHockey
See you at Mariucci
#prideonice
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Don’t unpack your whole bag. It’s gonna be a short trip.
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Things to do today:
1. Wake up
2. Go down to
@DoubleTree
gym. Leave immediately, so I can say I “went to the gym.”
3. Order some breakfast
4. Shower and shave with
@skullshaver
5. Line up sweater vests- pick one that “speaks to me.”
6. Mid-day skate
7. Nap
8. Dominate.
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63
Now that the Lil Boppers game is done, it’s time for big time hockey.
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Better. Dead. Than. Red.
Rise and shine everyone. It’s game day. Time to go to work.
#PrideOnIce
#SkiUMah
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@Buccigross
Impressive showing this weekend by Quinnipiac over [checks notes] 45-ranked Brown.
#EasySchedule
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Did F’ing Hawks even score?
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60
Word on the street-
Lots of St Paul
@motel6
and
@howardjohnson
hotel cancelations occurring tonight.
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Just defeated the a bunch of Canadians. Now on to Vegas, to defeat a bunch of Canadians. 🤔
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Attention
@SunCountryAir
. We’ll be flying back to Minnesota with some extra cargo.
#PrideOnIce
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Thoughts and prayers go out to the entire Motzko family. Surely an extremely sad day for everyone.
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Contrary to popular misconceptions,
@NCAAIceHockey
does, in fact, have an
#allstar
game.
That occurs each weekend, when my guys take the ice.
#recruiting
#PrideOnIce
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⭐️- Knies
⭐️⭐️- Close
⭐️⭐️⭐️- Meyers
Honorable mention to the way I got my guys to show up for the OT
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Intermission Notes-
Remember how you played the last 3 minutes of the 2nd? Do that. Do that for another 20 and we’ll go and have ice cream afterwards.
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My guys are so good, we clinch championships without even playing.
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Final- 4-1
Better dead than red.
With this loss,
@BadgerMHockey
has been mathematically eliminated from competition for 2023. And 2024. And 2025.
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Here’s an April Fools Day joke.
The
@BadgerMHockey
and the
@UNDmhockey
are playing a hockey game in April.
That’s is. That’s the joke.
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The
@BadgerMHockey
hockey schedule was released at 4pm this afternoon. On a related note, at 4:05pm the
#BADgers
were mathematically eliminated from B1G contention. Maybe next year guys. Maybe next year.
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Since all the teams in the Frozen Four will be more west than east, can we make Greta happy and just have everyone meet in St. Paul in a few weeks? Why burn all that jet fuel to go to spendy Boston?
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Things to do today:
1. Wake up
2. Plan a workout
3. Dunkin D’s breakfast
4. Talk myself out of a workout
5. Begin superior game prep
6. Watch some Masters
7. Continue superior game prep
8. Watch Ish-again and Denver Community College
9. Dominate our game
10. Go to be a winner.
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43
DYK: A clause in my new contract states that at no time shall LaPanta or Buccigross will be allowed to call any U of MN games.
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Things to do today:
1- “Wake Up”
2- Go for run along Hillsborough River
3- Tai chi in the park as the sun rises
4- Have fair trade coffee and lemongrass tea while game-planning.
5- Conduct kick-ass coaching exhibition at 5pm (COTY)
6- Bask in victory.
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This is the point in the game where some teams would put their scrubs in to get some ice time. I don’t have that luxury. I don’t have any on my team. All of my guys are top talent.
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🚨 BREAKING 🚨 4 ⭐️ Jacob Rombach has committed to Minnesota. The 6’5 181 lbs defenseman plays for the
@USHL
’s
@LincolnStars
currently. Rombach is the 41st ranked player in the 2007-born 🇺🇸 class. Big week for the Golden Gophers.
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My first day at work, and I get yelled at already. Apparently I parked in PJ’s spot. How the hell was I supposed to know that?
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Let’s try this again…
🎶One of these things is not like the other🎶
@GopherHockey
#PrideOnIce
@umichhockey
@buhockey
@QU_MIH
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Didn’t want to lose TV revenue, going up against my guys on THURS.
#smart
🚨Our Home Opener game has been postponed to Friday 🚨
Breakfast on the Plaza will go from 6 to 9am, gates open at 1pm, and first pitch at 3:10pm.
Tickets will automatically be transferred to Friday’s rescheduled game.
More info:
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Congratulations to Chaz and Cruz Lucius on committing to play DI hockey at the University of Minnesota!
#GoGophers
@GopherHockey
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Tonight broadcast is apparently sponsored by New Horizon’s daycare. The commentators seem to be fresh graduates from this esteemed institution.
I recommend turning on
@MazzPuck
for more talent.
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Join us to today to help welcome Coach Mike Hastings in person at the Kohl Center
⏰ - 4 p.m. program
Gate A doors open at 3:30 p.m.
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Good news for UND fans. They’ll get to see their favorite team play.
Tonight’s first intermission will feature a
@UNDmhockey
v Little Chipper matchup.
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The Hobey Baker Memorial Award Committee is pleased to announce the three Hobey Baker Hat Trick finalists for the 2023 award, honoring college hockey’s top player. Alphabetically, they are: Logan Cooley, a freshman forward from the University of Minnesota;
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2K
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#Coaching
We’ve created an environment where players want to stay, and be a part of something special.
#PrideOnIce
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The quantity of Whioux fans seems to have dramatically decreased. Must be time to start planting beets.
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Looking around today, has come to my understanding that the entire MN sports market now depends on
@GopherHockey
and
@GopherWHockey
@Twins
are locked out (Thanks Pohlad)
@mnwild
have tanked.
@GopherMBB
is a work in progress.
@Timberwolves
are, well, the wolves.
Let’s go!!
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Was busy coaching today. Sorry for the lack of behind-the-bench insight.
See you at
@BWWings
in Tampa.
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If Iowa had a hockey team, I’m pretty sure my guys would win.
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