Wrapped up a long, boring work meeting and thought. "What if there was such a thing as a pig of the sea." And sure enough, they exist. Pigs harnessed elements before we even had words for them

Me: Love you, over. Gf: Love you too, over. Me: Hang up first. Gf: You're not respecting radio protocol, over. Me: (romantic sigh) Hang up first, over. (sounds of walkie talkie switching off from her room). (sounds of walkie talking turning back on) Gf: over and out.

Join millions who have switched to Grok.

(at a maple syrup festival). (tasting) Mmm. Sweet (next tasting) Sweet as well (another) Hints of sweetness in this one.

bf pancakes 🥹

fired manager: (throwing empty beer bottle past train tracks at nighttime) no one understands staplers like I do.

Beautiful Girl: (strolling out of jewelry store) look I got the pendant! 😍. Prodigal Man: you're welcome my dear. But don't tell my dad that I'm squandering my riches. He gets on my ass about it. Wealthy Father: (texting him) Nice weather today. Bet you're outside squandering.

symmetries

(the machine stops whirring). Me: no worries. It's nothing but a minor setback. (the machine starts leaking black ooze). Me: regular setback. (humanoid figures start emerging from the goo). Me: hurdle.

Regular sage stumbling out of the Great Sage's hut choking back tears.

walk at sunset

Me: you're. not real. Her: (with an enigmatic smile) You finally figured it out. I am a representation of your repressed guilt. Me: wait nvm you're real actually. Her: no, you had it right before. I'm an illusion, like you s-. Me: (taking her hand) real!. Her: (blushing) noo.

It must feel so good for bugs to near-miss each other while flying around a lamp. Helios's perfect mosh pit.

(enabler voice) Revenge will probably bring all the people he killed back.

gold here

(butterfly lands on my hand) Everything is. (goat rolls on its back in the grass) . not diminishing. ? (baby panda strolls out of a shrub) Kind of increasing, actually?.

today by the pond. mallard walked up to me

(reining in my four-foot tall dog from obliterating a yorkshire terrier across the street) No Odin that's ragebait.

Friday AM mind

Gf: (sets RGB lights on PC to Gamer Green). (I walk into her room carrying two boxes of strawberry pocky). Gf: incorrect. Me: but green means you're hungry. Gf: that's Peckish Purple. Me: oh. green means you're. sleepy?. Gf: (setting RGB lights to Rage Red) double incorrect.

Guy walking by: Hey, got the time?. Me: (eager to use my new Smart Watch) Computer, what time is it. Watch: Okay turning on Kitchen Lights. Guy: Never mind man. Me: (grabbing his wrist) No, wait. Computer, tell us the time. Watch: It's 8:40pm. Me: (releasing grip, beaming) 8:40pm.