zane bhansali
@epengu
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screenwriter, esports itinerant・columbia tv writing mfa・words @washingtonpost @espn @WolfeyGlick @FalseSwipeG・former Beyond the Summit, HTC Esports, PG Stats
Joined December 2013
this is a nice tidbit that's written very well in the screenplay and is completely diminished by the fact that o'connor very obviously hit this serve so far out that it landed in fucking siberia.
when we see art’s face fall to hatred here it isn’t just because patrick slept with tashi but also because he was capable of serving the correct way this entire time but he chooses not to
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mango's fox has got a lot of us rethinking our entire worldviews
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2019. I befriend wolfe glick. there are no worlds for 2 years. 2022. my 1st worlds. wolfe names a mon after my dog. he bombs. 2023. my 2nd worlds. wolfe just misses day 2. 2024. I take the hint. don’t go to hawaii. wolfe undefeated day 1. he’s winning worlds. I can never go again.
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ok not to glaze wolfe any more but the fact that he hasn't dropped a game with the most bog-standard team you could imagine is really wild. literally the 5 highest usage mons in the format and the most popular restricted. nothing on here his opponents haven't seen before
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as someone who worked for panda and then left for bts. every person I worked with directly at panda had no idea. I had no idea. they all worked out of love for the community to try and lift the game up, circuit included. I can’t imagine how betrayed they feel right now.
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life goals: the unnamed mandarin duck that mysteriously appeared in central park and has sent every birdwatcher into a fainting spell.
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WE PUT TOGETHER A 108 HOUR LONG CHARITY EVENT IN THREE WEEKS. AND WE RAISED FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO.
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how do you think wheat felt while he was manually editing obama's hands to be lighter in this.
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this ep of the doc has made me very uncomfortable. aside from the questionable decision to include old bigoted language in the first place, it's painted in a lighthearted way; it's upsetting for everyone involved and there's no further context/commentary on the scene at large.
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I've been thinking about what to say for an hour now. we have to accept two true things here: Sleepy was known as being one of the kindest and most helpful leaders for promoting queer voices in smash. Sleepy also groomed and abused a minor, using that status in the process.
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was in the virginia area this weekend for soon-to-be disclosed reasons. ran into this random dude who asked me for a photo, but the whole time he kept going “dude falco laser is so BROKEN. agree???” hope he finds peace
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crush looks like the white boy who will play leffen when they adapt his story for western audiences.
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I am watching big house grands and thinking of when players smile. I used to see plup smile and say, "how endearing. I hope he wins a major someday". cody smiles. I think: I know him. I used to see him at a chinatown basement every week. he didn't smile as much then . now he does.
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three guys just jumped me for fun while I was walking marz - came up and knocked me on the head, saying they’d kill me. was p sure they were fucking around but I gave my phone and they ripped off my mask. then when they gave my shit back I said “I’ve got covid btw. good luck” lol.
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ran into lud at a pizza place and we talked about how jmook is the best player in the world while watching his set. 15 minutes later jmook comes up to lud and asks for a photo aaaaand lud fully did not know who he was talking to LOL.
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still think this moment works in the movie, even if it's the total opposite of what was written. it's arguably more compelling (patrick is actually incapbable of serving the ball "normally. " until their match in new rochelle years later, where he clearly does ace art).
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in my analysis of jmook's sheik at genesis 8 (2022), I went to great lengths to contextualize hungrybox's inputs per minute as being a byproduct of his minute aerial drift adjustments. I'd like to issue a correction: he just mashes z 23 times every time he does a fucking aerial.
@riennezelda @iBDWSSBM If you have never seen a hungrybox SLP of a set he tries his ass off in, PLEASE DO. It's insane
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don’t really talk about this much but I’m so so happy to have zain as one of our top players. most people don’t know I’m Indian, but seeing a brown kid dominating melee with style and an incredible work ethic makes me smile. proud to share a name with him.
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had to pause THE REHEARSAL when the germany map showed up because we were laughing so hard.
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@KoDoRiNSSB was really cool when I was at pgstats and was told the same thing while the channel was clearly only primed for an ult audience. then once @jackie_peanuts and @turndownforwalt I busted our asses to make melee content and it got views we were told it "overperformed" lol.
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love that toph and vish are making a concerted effort to pronounce zain's name the correct way and respect his heritage. unrelated, officially changing my tag to my name.
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looking at gen 5 sprites and shedding a single tear for what we've lost.
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ten years ago, I made a joke about you on a corporate twitter account, and you turned that into a friendship. beer halls and nightclubs and frame data and pizza and birthdays . I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone like you again. I’m so sorry you’re gone, my friend. rest in peace
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dude zain is talking to himself now I don't like what kirby has done to him
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ok, I’m still mad about alan’s stance on smash content, so here’s a thread. if you’re aiming to maximize your company’s revenue, is ult content superior to melee? yes. 100%. it’s easier to make and has more payoff. but alan always said he was doing this for *all* the community.
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my heart is breaking having to leave the final afterparty early. I cannot believe I won’t see all of this family in the same room again. won’t get to make something together again. bye y’all. see you on the other side
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Alright, real last thing I’ll say: I’m not mad at Samox, or Mang0, or Leffen. I think Samox made a misstep in his handling of some topics. It’s not a crime, just something to acknowledge. Making a movie is hard fucking business, and I don’t envy him weathering this criticism.
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apex 2015 might be the best melee tournament ever. pewpewu hbox, my b, ppmd's win - what more could you want?. but apex was dangerously close to being smash's biggest disaster. this is the story of apex 2015: how smash saved itself from condemnation.
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go to your local this week. I've been working the hardest event of my life, pulled two 12-hour days this weekend, and had to deal with a smashed car windshield but there's not a shot in fucking hell I miss nightclub tomorrow.
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mango is actually using marth killer AND timing randall. this is just like when he learned to ledgedash.
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this is entirely right; I dropped the ball this year. there should be more women on the roster. I’m happy to say chelly will be joining us on the main roster; I always would have her if possible, but misunderstood travel costs. I’ve adjusted the schedule and you’ll see her there.
another melee commentary lineup another "literally all dudes". please god find a woman anywhere and sit her in front of the mic i am begging you.
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I feel sick about not being able to mention fizzi’s work in the jmook vid when using slippi so heavily, so let me say for the record here: no one deserves more credit than him in literally anything I make. melee owes its life to him, for sustaining it and letting it blossom.
This is an excellent video and I loved the deep analysis involved, props to epengu. That said wrt to PGStats, if you're gonna avoid mentioning/crediting Slippi, then can I request you don't publish content that so heavily uses software that we wrote?.
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have some respect when explaining esports to juan debiedma that man is a PART OWNER of team liquid.
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hungrybox's chat is the only place in the world where you can see a twitch chatter post "tough matchup" during a puff samus match and not really be sure which side they're feeling empathy for.
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working at beyond the summit gave me some of the most fulfilling experiences of my entire life. I am so profoundly sad - not because I no longer have a job, but because I no longer have *this* job. it was a dream come true, and right now it feels like nothing will ever match up.
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Her: Say them. say those three words and you’re mine.Me: Hook. gang. god.
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I think we could create the greatest melee player of all time by training an ai to judge in game decisions based on how duck shakes his head in response to them.
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how do you explain to your uber driver that the reason you’re sobbing in the car is because an esports company shut down without sounding psychotic.
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hi - I'm open and hungry for work as a writer and producer. I have a proven track record to the tune of millions of views over scripts for false swipe gaming, wolfe glick, and pgstats, plus a decade of esports production. want to make your content undeniable? my dms are open :)
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don't wanna tick anyone off, so last thing I'll say - this ep wasn't the only one that chose this treatment. there've been a few times where it's felt like the doc's laughing *with* the misogyny and homophobia in a way that makes me uncomfortable. idk! just something I've noticed.
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90% of sheiks “styling” is the sheik refusing to fair a falco offstage then popping off over their “mixup” when the falco just wanted the sweet release of death.
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two gargantuan videos that I helped write are out today! first: wolfe glick’s 2024 worlds video. this video was a ton of work; wolfe is a dear friend, and we spent a lot of time trying to cut to the core of what his competitor status really means.
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somehow hungrybox has suckered me into rooting for him. I am spamming "clutchbox" in chat. I imagine this is what it feels like to be born in the 2000s and get a nintendo switch for your 11th birthday.
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I want to talk about h2h vs tournament placement in ranking methodology, but hbox calling the panelists biased is just so massively disrespectful to a group of volunteers putting together one of our most anticipated events that it makes any discussion feel irrelevant.
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I asked my fiancée to tech chase a spacie and it immediately broke her
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I'm fairly sure we just witnessed the greatest sets, grand finals, and tournament of all time. I have tears in my eyes and this game will never die.
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it feels weird to share good news right now, but: yesterday I found out that I’ve been accepted to columbia’s screenwriting/directing film mfa for next fall! . catch me learning to make movies once this is all over :’).
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I know people are understandably sad and confused right now. something I think it’s helpful to say out loud is: this is good. the actions of abusers and predators are horrible, but that we’re in a moment of collective solidarity where they’re being expelled is unequivocally good.
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if not for Melee, I wouldn’t.-be in film school.-have met my partner.-have had my last three jobs.-be writing this. and I’m nowhere near special. so many people have found themselves in this community. it can keep being that. share how Melee changed your life. #FreeMelee.
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kids think using a Fake for Alcohol is cool. just wait til they know the rush of using your student id for movie tickets after graduating.
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don't think I ever posted the final version of this.sometimes airports feel like dreaming
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you may call tafo’s engagement farming cringe but I personally think it’s admirable the man learned he was having a child and said “my only fiscal recourse is to become the rex chapman of melee”.
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ok don't hate me for saying this. but jmook is actually 2022 mew2king.
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was literally fighting off thirty goons in the melee stats cord last night saying it would be inconceivable mango would beat hbox just cus he lost the last three sets . do you not know the words carved in stone? to never sleep? let your eyelids fall and that is when death awaits.
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melee commentary at genesis this year will be *semi-couch style.* basically, we have assigned commentators, but we also have spots open to hop on. this still requires some organization, so if you're a commentator or top player interested in getting pre-approved, hit my line. thx!.
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if I'm mang0, I'd be upset either way, but this feels like a worst of both worlds situation. there's something to be said for not sanitizing the worst parts of our scene, but this feels like it's laughing at the homophobia without committing to any meaningful address of it.
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commonwealth realms got the meanest foxes outside of pittsburgh
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a statement you will not have realized is true until you read it: sdj is the third greatest jigglypuff player of all time.
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going to put "stylist and photographer to pokemon world champion" on my resume
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I don't agree with the rhetoric presented in kira's video but people framing it as "insane" or a break from reality or something worrying about his mental health are really reaching; dude's a very devout christian and has only just decided to make apologia content. seems p simple.
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I’m so over melee players thinking it’s ok for them to be complete and total assholes just because someone else hasn’t devoted as much obsession to the game as them lmao.
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these two things are both true. sleepy did an unforgivable and reprehensible thing to clem, and should not be allowed in any communal spaces. period. the uncomfortable truth is that sleepy was also seen as a benevolent figure for multiple queer smashers in our community.
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we're vilifying mang0 without acknowledging that a huge amount of people in the scene talked that way. does that make mang0 saying it then ok? no, duh! I made a whole essay about this exact thing like 5 years ago. but you can't present it without context like that.
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I took a step back from writing blurbs this summer for ssbmrank because I've been so busy, but I really appreciated @jackzilla's words on bbb. hard to sum up melee's most mercurial man in two grafs but I think jack did a pretty stellar job
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lastly, I wanna say that clem is so incredibly brave for coming forward. she is exactly the sort of young person we should want in our community, and it breaks my heart that she was let down and abused by someone who should have protected her.
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what we have to reckon with is that sleepy's position was instrumental in his abuse. we have to remember that this sort of thing can come from anyone, that power and stature can be abused no matter their type, and the sexual misconduct in our community can be found anywhere.
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I love pp, but you can definitely go back to his old falco threads and find just as much bad shit. this shit was everywhere! so if you're gonna touch on it, face it head on. it was bad. I don't even care about the "they've changed" stuff. it was bad, and now it's slightly better.
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I helped wolfe set this up yesterday. if his runs go like the process of installing the tracker I have quite a bit of fear.
Attempting IronMon for the first time in a race with Valkyrae Miyoung Abe Spuuky Blau & more, live on YouTube at 3:15 PM Eastern.
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honestly I was not freaking out at all because they were young, felt like a stupid joke even if they were making it seem real - but then I saw them go across the street and freak out some lady walking home. fucking assholes.
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got an INCREDIBLE pep talk from @bobbyscar last night. I was dreaming, but it was still great. thanks bobby.
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last night I said goodbye to my oldest friend. Indie was the smartest dog I’ve met. he was fiercely loyal, noble, and he loved holding hands. I love you Indie. wish more than anything I could’ve seen you this year, but after 14 years I know I was lucky to have the time I did.
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it's also really similar to his naic team. only changes here are pelipper -> raging bolt, rilla tera grass -> tera fire, caly-s tera blast -> psyshock. could have different spreads but very close.
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hbox is raging at a blue fox named “the pink opaque” for ruining his challenge run… I guess pride really is over.
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why hasn’t pokemon created reverse assault vest yet. call it battle buckler or something, it’s a belt that only lets you use non-attacking moves but boosts your attack by 1.5.
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"We aren't DBZ characters, we don't have power levels" - I talked to @Drephen about his astonishing run to #SmashSummit8, how he feels being the 'meme pick,' and why he thinks we're ranking players wrong.
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