Bob
@emptytesticles
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an expert at whatever you’re arguing about
a ditch somewhere
Joined March 2016
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Pinned Tweet
Do you even lift bro?
Do I even lift??? Yeah bro I lift. I lift your fucking spirits up. How have you been? Everything ok? I miss you. Let’s grab lunch sometime.
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there is absolutely no way i just witnessed this girl pull store-bought strawberries out of the dirt like she grew them herself.
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they wanna put cocaine back in coca cola so badly
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This thing would dominate bodies in America. Probably 5-10 deaths a day.
Paternoster Elevator, or continuous elevator, does not have doors and never stops.
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no wonder her team is trying to ban this flight tracking LMFAOOO
Flew from Cahokia/St Louis, Illinois, US to St Louis, Missouri, US 24 hours ago.
Apx. flt. time 13 Mins.
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stealing from walmart
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my girl trying to get my dick to work after my 9th whiskey and coke
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i was EIGHT when i was hit by a car going 35 mph
Miley was SIXTEEN when she released The Climb.
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i’ll give you a thousand guesses. you will never guess the song that is playing in this video
Imagine going to a wedding and they play this swaggerless song …. Immediately leaving
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When they finally restock the local CVS with extra small condoms.
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men be like “i know a spot” and then rub the labia for 35 minutes
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me after 30 seconds of making out
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anyone know how to turn off closed captions for racing events? it’s a bit distracting
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Because it fucking sucks here
Americans wake up feeling grumpy an average of six times a week: survey
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first thing i would do is crank my hog again
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right wing accidental homoeroticism will always make me smile
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nobody:
my balls:
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i’m so pumped that a smaller similar truck fell out of it. LMAO
Some of the video submissions we receive are insane. What went wrong here?
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I know snitching is sus behavior but our planet is struggling to survive bc of our populations behavior. The car in front of me on the highway threw some trash outta their window so I called our littering hotline and reported them. My dick has never been harder for Mother Earth.
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this tweet goes out to all of the people just sitting in their cars. i know y’all must be down so bad you can’t even walk into your own job or house
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i could see the fellas hammering beers and yelling at the tv to this game
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what? no!
NEW - CIA agents reportedly made fake social media accounts to spread rumors about the Chinese government — The Verge
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why does closing your eyes while you’re driving feel so good
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I think I know why it’s called catcalling bc when you call for a cat to come here it never fucking works. Which is exactly the same thing when you’re catcalling a woman. It’s never going to work so why don’t you idiots just leave them alone and let women exist in peace.
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sporting events are so fucking back baby. CIGS INSIDE!!
ESPN Sources: The Clippers new arena, Intuit Dome, is planned to have it's own 21 and older section in the upper bowl that will allow for fans to smoke marijuana or cigarettes.
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What if sucking dick was addictive and there was a product like nicorette that had little cum capsules you’d chew on to curb your need to suck dick. I present to you, Dickorette.
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bob wired bats
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Heard some rumors going around that I have bad stroke game so I had to find out for myself
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Who the hell decided to call it a dick appointment instead of a meating
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high fashion fucking sucks LOL
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I promise you that you cannot predict how this tweet ends lmfao
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Fellas, what’s your opinion on your girl getting her clit pierced?
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i’d come off this island with a full body tan (naked the entire time) my mental health stronger than ever and $100,000 richer
would you stay here for a month for $100k with:
-No wifi
-No companion
-No electronic gadgets
-Food provided
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Fellas?
🎞️ Meet Emma, a life-sized representation of what the average office worker may look like by 2040. 👩🏻💼💼🖱️
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when you’re running late to the 30-50 Feral Hog movie casting audition
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@abernothing
it’s becoming harder and harder to tell if people are absolute morons or being funny on tiktok. that’s on me
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his favorite drink is probably a domestic beer - you just love being scammed
asked the bartender at my resort to make me his favorite drink and he gave me THIS
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going to pull a twitter card here and assume Tom Brady is so god damn good at football because he’s autistic
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Today’s tea:
) ) )
) ( ) )
_(___(____)____(___(__ _
\ If she doesn’t /
\ text you / |
\ back just /____|
\ leave her /
\ alone bro. /
\___________ /
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what my girl’s pussy sees as soon as I walk in the door from drinking bromosa’s with the boys at brunch
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Ok so I guess the property brothers are not fucking each other
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Ok I’m never ever sending a dick pic ever again. I couldn’t handle this reply
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me and my boys moving from one free sample station to another at costco
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Move over Plan B. I’ll be using this to suck the cum right out of my girl’s pussy
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The real Fools Day in April is not April 1st. It is on 4/20 when every damned fool lights up the devils lettuce and puffs the magic dragon. You smoking sinners are sending yourselves straight to Hell.
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the dread that would consume me when it was time to film for mommy’s tiktok of the day/week
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Things we are doing tonight:
• Facemasks
• Naked Yoga (curtains open)
• Drinking A Smoothie
Things we are not doing tonight:
• Crack (hopefully)
What are you up to tonight?
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toy guns on the wall ✅
using violence as punishment ✅
destroying = lesson learned ✅
aeropostale hoodie ✅
this is how you raise violent teens who eventually terrorize communities
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What sick fuck allowed the “gh” in cough to be prounounced like an f sound? The English language is ghucked.
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@FrenchFlowerss
drinking out of one use plastic starbucks cups or hitting their vape pens in bathroom stalls probably
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if i worked at this hospital my balls would look like pink shriveled empty raisins
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@doinkpatrol
apparently i need to do due diligence on content to make sure the original poster is a trickster or not. this is becoming a full time job
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@virtuallinds
everyone who just be arresting each other for possession and intent to distribute
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these fellas can delete at least 150 beers a night combined
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say what you want about onlyfans but i was able to buy my dream home at 27
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anyone defending billionaires under this tweet will be dealt with promptly
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@eerrriiicaa
one time i was undressing in front of a girl and i dropped my pants and she, nooo joke, you’re never gonna believe this just sits there and says “that’s the biggest penis i’ve ever seen” i was legit so embarrassed.. it took a lot for me to type this
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are there really people who fully moisturize after every shower?
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Who the hell decided to call them pierced nipples and not shiskaboobs
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@DaveMcNamee3000
god i would totally HATE if i received this ugh it would DEFINITELY ruin my day!!!!! ughhh please don’t let this happen to me!!!
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anyone who complains about not being able to breathe while wearing a mask is just telling on themselves for being terrible at eating pussy
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i’m going to miss making fun of US soldiers for blowing their sign on bonus on these cars.
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no woman has all five:
1. A “clitoris”
2. The will to live
3. The ability to parallel park
4. An orgasm from a man
5. A clean bedroom floor
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@thehoneysprite
like what a buzz kill lmfao. there are so many better america dick sucking songs to sing if you want
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me after every field trip to the atlanta aquarium in elementary school
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