I 👏🏼 DO 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 CARE 👏🏼 WHAT 👏🏼 IT 👏🏼 COSTS 👏🏼 ALL 👏🏼 HUMANS 👏🏼 DESERVE 👏🏼 HUMAN 👏🏼 RIGHTS

2 weeks. The age of my child. Also the amount of time it took me to spill nachos on my child.

Adding to list of top favorite thrift shop purchases ever

The sweet smell of Kansas City, er, victory ❤️

There’s ‘not caring about fashion’ and then there’s ’wearing capris to a drag show’

My husband just came into our living room with a <DVD> for date night. Chivalry is not dead, folks. Apparently neither are DVDs.

The past 24 hours of #Survivor news, in an image ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

2023 has been my year of trying to bring “lmao” back. Is it working???? Lmao

2023: the year I finally embrace the party pony

I cannot believe Bob Barker lived as close to 100 as possible without going over.

Be in love with the world.

The actual bridge between childhood and adulthood occurs the first time you order hot sauce instead of mild at Taco Bell

Truly nothing is better than eating take-out in a hotel bed while watching game shows. NOTHING.

i am at my wheats end

You miss 1,000 of the puzzle pieces you don’t try to place.

#myhero #bbcon shoutout goes to the ever deserving @robodoardi who goes above and beyond daily to make me feel supported and appreciated even though we live and work from states half a country apart. He is the best! 🌟 @blackbaud

I’m my least humble when I make chili.

My best tweets are the ones that never make it to Twitter.

Have y’all even SEEN how many cymbals Queen played with!?

Last week I saw someone tweet about sweeping their garage and thought “What a stupid chore! Garages are basically outside, I don’t need to clean outside!” Today I went into my garage and immediately thought “man there’s a lot of leaves in here, I really need to sweep”. 🤦🏻‍♀️😬