Elle Has Cats (and ADHD)
@ellle_em
Followers
71,145
Following
8,045
Media
41,059
Statuses
183,257
USian in Spain. accidentally started an unofficial cat refuge. they/them. I'm sorry but I talk about sports sometimes
Cadiz, Spain
Joined February 2017
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Northern Lights
• 225728 Tweets
オーロラ
• 180677 Tweets
DeNA
• 62892 Tweets
#withMUSIC
• 29086 Tweets
BABYMONSTER IN TOKYO D1
• 28443 Tweets
Fulham
• 26251 Tweets
太陽フレアのせい
• 21176 Tweets
ベイスターズ
• 19374 Tweets
ハマスタ
• 18237 Tweets
バチコン
• 17754 Tweets
NUNEW AT BITEC
• 16417 Tweets
ソウルイーター
• 16062 Tweets
ウインマーベル
• 11217 Tweets
#やまコン
• 10723 Tweets
マリノス
• 10702 Tweets
#マルハニチロ
• 10121 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
NEW PINNED TWEET!
Hi! I'm Elle! I rescue cats! Like, a whole bunch of cats! I live in Spain and kiiiinda accidentally started an unofficial cat sanctuary! Here are a bunch of ways to help!
88
2K
6K
My kid said their names are Dustin and Steve and I am not allowed to change them
465
10K
211K
[Baby boomer voice] Kids today are too soft. In MY day we were emotionally abused by our parents and we repressed our trauma so deeply we incorporated that abuse into a toxic system of values that prize a mythological "toughness" at the expense of actually dealing with our pain
372
54K
197K
SO
MY HUSBAND.
MR. NO MORE CATS EVER
MR. I AM TIRED OF CATS
MR. U CAN'T RESCUE EVERY CAT
THAT MAN. JUST WALKED IN AND SAID
"their names are Jigglypuff and Clefairy"
772
34K
175K
You know we really ought to normalize menstrual products for children because an 11 year old getting their first period is still literally a child and should have products designed with them in mind
826
19K
174K
My husband just took a sip of red wine, turned, looked at me & said: when was the last time you saw Paris?
Me, thinking he was being romantic: I've never seen Paris!
Him: What? Oh I meant Paras. The Pokemon. When was the last time you've seen one in PokemonGO? It's been a while
506
22K
172K
"how would YOU like it if Republicans celebrate when YOU die???"
If I live my life in such a way that Republicans celebrate my death I'll have achieved success beyond my wildest dreams
309
23K
168K
People are always like CATS R ELITIST DOGS R THE PETS OF THE COMMON MAN but like 95% of cat acquisition stories are "I found him in the garbage and took him home"
1K
19K
157K
For people worried about the children, here is the conversation I just had with my 8-year-old
Me: oh they're gonna do a Frozen 2
Her: that's cool
Me: look, they're saying Elsa might have a girlfriend
Her: oh wow like Princess Bubblegum & Marcelline, that'd be awesome
According to the director of "Frozen," it's a possibility Elsa could be getting a female love interest in the sequel
1K
8K
25K
251
30K
120K
Spoiler alert the 2 year old will not remember having a $200 cake but the 17 year old will remember this doorknob breaking a promise like. What.
3K
9K
120K
How dare u fvcking accuse me of stealing ur TV what a fvcking rude host u r I'm leaving IMMEDIATELY
151
25K
112K
He's opening his eyes for the first time and he is angery
321
4K
100K
If u saw Lex Luthor do this in a Superman comic u would be like "pshh way too over the top like not even a super villain would be this obvious"
Spotted in the wild. I hate this mf place
806
3K
34K
259
20K
96K
Things I can do in Animal Crossing that I can't do in real life
-complete tasks
-invite friends over
-get yelled at without crying
-pay off loans
-fish
156
26K
93K
End white dude nerd culture.
End it now.
Burn it to the ground
Kelly Marie Tran has deleted all the posts off her Instagram due to months of harassment she has received for her character Rose in
#TheLastJedi
2K
4K
9K
296
18K
77K
Hello I am the protagonist of a psychological thriller. My name is Girl McWife. I have never asked the man I married a single question in all the years I have known him.
144
7K
78K
The Holocaust is not "fading from memory."
The United States is unwilling to teach history responsibly. The Holocaust is being erased.
41% percent of Americans cannot say what Auschwitz was, a survey found
1K
5K
5K
205
23K
69K
You know that feeling when you read a book and you're like "I want to read a billion books exactly like this book. I want a billion variations on this book. I want this book but like different but still THIS BOOK" anyway what was the last book that made you feel that way?
3K
5K
70K
when I find myself in times of trouble
brother Mario comes to me
speaking words of wisdom "it's a me"
127
15K
68K
My favorite thing is people who have the idea that cats are these independent loners with pitch-perfect survival instincts who literally do not need humans for anything finding out that cats are actually small dinguses who don't know how to drink water correctly.
514
5K
68K
Stop treating children like they're not actual real human beings challenge
1K
7K
64K
CONGRATULATIONS your eyes don't work! You can either
-wear a fvcking face-bra that will either be smudgy or broken
-put these FAKE EYE COVERS over your eyeballs which will cause DISCOMFORT PAIN or INFECTION
-pay a lot of money to have lasers cut into your eyemeat
292
18K
59K
I know Millennial humor is like "lol I have trouble making phone calls because of my anxiety" & "look at this cockatoo playing with plastic cup, it makes me not want to die for like half a minute" but I prefer that to fucking baby boomer jokes about how much they hate their wives
181
11K
57K
When ur cat is just walking around and I call to them and they notice u and their tail goes straight up and they change course to go hang out with u that is a very good thing
100
4K
54K
You know what I love about cats? I love that cats are UNGOVERNABLE and are not ashamed of displaying this all the time I would like to see photos of your cats being UNGOVERNABLE please I would really enjoy seeing this photos
4K
4K
54K
Once a friend of my brother's refused to stand up for the pledge of allegiance and the teacher threw a fvcking desk at him but sure yeah let's arm teachers
Proposed bill would allow teachers to carry guns at school in Alabama
2K
2K
7K
167
12K
49K
The bad news: an American family just moved and left their cat behind in the empty house. It's been alone for a few days and it's deaf and scared and sad
The good news: it lives with me now
672
6K
49K
A big problem that we need to grapple with in social justice spaces is how tumblr taught a huge group of people to appropriate social justice terminology & deploy it in order to destroy things that make them uncomfortable, rather than are actually oppressive
96
8K
45K
Dog: BORK BORK BORK
Human: STOP BARKING
How Dog Interprets this exchange
Dog: LOUD NOISES
Human: ALSO LOUD NOISES
Dog: O COOL WE R MAKIN LOUD NOISES TOGETHER NOW FREN LETS KEEP GOIN
Human: MORE LOUD NOISES
Dog: UR SO GOOD AT THIS
81
12K
42K
Why Cats Are Good
-because when you have cats live with you it feels like they are little friends who are choosing to spend time with you like they don't have to they can hide & disappear into different dimensions & stuff but they don't, they come out & vibrate at u & groom u
189
14K
42K
Conservatives: ugh I can’t be bothered to get someone’s pronouns correct it’s so ridiculous who cares
Conservatives:
156
10K
41K
I just spent three confusing, anxiety-riddled hours in two different police stations
Because of THIS THING
180
1K
41K
My 8year-old-child: MOM! I found the COOLEST old song online!
Me: oh really? What is it?
Kid: it's called "Mr. Brightside!"
Me, staring in the mirror at my aged visage as youth seeps from me like tears from my ancient eyes: "...i'm coming out of my...cage...and I'm..."
94
9K
40K
This poor woman needs to get out if at all possible, she doesn't deserve this. No one does
82
381
39K
The worst part of ADHD, for me, isn't *forgetting* to do something. The worst part is knowing I have to do something but just......not being able to do it. Just. Sitting there, thinking "yeah I gotta do this thing but. Nope."
238
7K
37K
You either die as 30-50 feral hogs or live long enough to become a salmon shot through a fish tube
66
7K
35K
My favorite part of this is the OP thinking coyotes and raccoons will "bully" her cat when the correct word is actually "eat" her cat
763
2K
35K
YES
WE
DO
IT'S
CALLED
HISTORY
AND
SOCIOLOGY
AND
LITERATURE
AND
ANTHROPOLOGY
AND
POLITICAL SCIENCE
AND
HUMANITIES
AND
SOCIAL SCIENCES
In school, rarely do we learn skepticism, and how political winds can influence it, morphing skepticism into obstinance.
724
7K
29K
419
10K
34K
"I am hurt my daughter likes her father more"
"Also I routinely break promises to my daughter so I can buy her infant sibling a 200$ birthday cake"
67
481
33K
Who wants to feel old?
My daughter is friends with a girl named Eowyn and when I said "oh that's a pretty name" my daughter replied with "yeah she says it's from this old movie her mom likes.
Me: I know the movie
Her: oh did you see it? it came out a long time ago.
424
3K
32K
Me: I would like to go to sleep now
Brain: you can't
Me: why?
Brain: you haven't Done Enough
Me: done enough...what?
Brain: Enough
Me: enough what??
Brain: Enough. Just Enough. You have not Done Enough
Me: I'll do enough if you tell me enough what
Brain: You have not Done Enough
112
9K
32K
Like I can't get over this!! "Oh birthdays are TRADITION and MORE IMPORTANT and I want my BABY to HAVE MEMORIES"
THE BABY. WILL NOT. REMEMBER.
94
431
32K
I hate the "I lived in France for a month and now I'm an expert soliologist" genre of books about how Americans need to live more like Europeans because I've been in Spain for four years now & if your book doesn't start with "Americans need free healthcare" it's a bad book
96
2K
32K
The Muppet versions of "A Christmas Carol" and "Treasure Island" are obviously the superior adaptations of both books so tell me, what classic work of literature definitely requires a Muppet movie?
5K
3K
31K
One of the biggest misconception about cats is that they're like these graceful sophisticated intellectual creatures when really they're complete dinguses
319
2K
30K
You will not make Republicans feel guilt, or shame. They are not ashamed of hurting people. They feel no guilt regarding the damage they are doing. They will not be swayed by any number of tragic stories, they will not care about the reality of their decisions.
156
6K
29K
To be entirely honest I am more frightened and exhausted by this COVID wave than any of the previous, even the first because not only am I afraid of the virus itself, I know now how little I should expect from the people in charge
62
3K
29K
I would like my child to do well in school but honestly??? That's not my top priority?? If it comes down to school v. her mental health and wellbeing, I'm not gonna pick school
106
2K
28K
If you're mad at JK Rowling being an enormous transphobe here's a thing you can and should do:
support trans writers. buy things written by trans writers. Review things written by trans writers. Recommend things written by trans writers. READ TRANS WRITERS
152
7K
27K
Ohhhh my god someone messaged me asking to help trap some strays that live near their house and they sent me this photo omg
216
990
27K
Look the reality is adoption can cause generational trauma ask me how I know
155
2K
27K
Hi I am having a bad day please reply to this tweet with an AITA written from the perspective of your cat and also include a photo of said cat I would appreciate this very much
4K
3K
27K
People: I would like to adopt a kitten
Me: ok well they will be available in like six weeks
People: no I want one now
Me: they're still bottle-feeding
People: ok but they're small and cute now
Me: they will be small and cute in six weeks
People: no they will be old
Me: 😒
463
826
26K
My plan at 22: I'm gonna go to graduate school and get my PhD and become a professor and write important books about important things!
My plan at 32: I'm gonna get some guinea pigs and dress them up as farm animals because they will be adorable & it'll make me forget how sad I am
121
3K
26K
"mental illness isn't an excuse" really should mean "mental illness isn't an excuse to hurt people and not be held accountable" not "mental illness isn't an excuse to not Perform Functionality at the highest possible level"
29
7K
25K
So a few hours ago someone dropped off a severely dehydrated 3-week-old kitten because they "couldn't handle" caring for it and now I get to stay up all night keeping it alive
164
550
25K
For my kid's birthday when she was 2 we got a dinosaur sheet cake from Costco.
It was fine. I promise.
86
120
25K
While we mourn Notre Dame remember how often this kind of thing happens and how often it is ignored because it's happening to non-white, non-Christian, non-European landmarks and structures.
See: the National Museum of Iraq, the Buddhas of Bamyan, the National Museum of Brazil
116
8K
23K
Cat: hello human time for affection
Cat: V I B R A T E
Cat: REPEATEDLY HEAD BUTT
Cat: KNEAD UR BARE SKIN WITH MY MURDER CLAWS
Cat: LICK WITH MY BARBED SANDPAPER TONGUE
Cat: LOOK DIRECTLY AT MY ASSHOLE
Cat: this was fun next time you try to touch me I'm gonna bite
Me:😍😍😍😍😍
95
7K
22K
If cancel culture is real why do we still have to hear Lena Dunham say words hm
61
2K
22K
My daughter just asked me to help her with her history project and I was like of course what's the project and she said she wants to film a reenactment of the Scopes trial using our cats
219
857
22K
REMINDER! When horrible people die it's ok to say they're horrible! "Don't speak ill of the dead" is horrible advice! Dying doesn't suddenly make someone no longer culpable for the immense harm they caused. David Koch was bad when he was alive AND IS STILL BAD NOW
120
4K
22K
Me: there is a Thing I need to do
My ADHD: don't do it
Me: but I need to
My ADHD: yeah don't do it
Me: why
My ADHD: hold on lemme think
Me: ok
My ADHD 12 days later: you can't do the Thing b/c it's been so long already & you're already a failure & a disappointment
Me: valid
107
5K
22K
"I want my daughter to have the things I didn't have!" oops no wait sorry gotta walk back that back this baby needs a solid-gold pacifier
34
198
21K
BOOKS THAT, UNLIKE HARRY POTTER, ACTUALLY DO HAVE INNOVATIVE MAGIC SYSTEMS: A THREAD
588
6K
21K
Humans: to be the best you gotta ALWAYS BE WORKING no sleeping no eating no breathing ALWAYS WORK ALL THE TIME OR ELSE THE WORLD WILL SWALLOW U WHOLE
Cats: lol we're apex predators & deadly as fvck & we sleep 18 hours a day u all gotta calm down
60
5K
21K
G*psy is a slur, don't use it unless you are Romani/Roma. This means don't use in your Twitter name or bio, don't use it describe yourself, don't use it to advertise your jewelry-making classes. Don't use g*psy. Don't. It's a slur against a marginalized group.
283
7K
20K
I just asked my 12-year-old kid to help zip up the dress I'm wearing and she said to me "Mom, you're a smart person but, idk, wearing clothes that need two people to activate is kind of...not smart"
the children are the future
84
954
21K
My kid, bursting into my bedroom: um mom there's a guy dressed like a mime shooting fire at the house next door
Me:............................what
My kid: you heard me
72
2K
20K
People my age (early 30s) complaining how "kids today" don't go outside and play right like you weren't on AIM two seconds after you got home from school trying to craft the perfect passive-aggressive away message using Jimmy Eat World lyrics
159
3K
19K
A thing I think about a lot is that my mother-in-law--a hardcore conservative Christian--took my husband, his sister and their elderly grandmother to Philadelphia once and she wanted them to go see a musical so without any research or foreknowledge she bought tickets to Rent
145
595
20K
Ok I am nonbinary. But socially I am read as a woman. A white woman. And from that standpoint I wanna address white women/people socially read as white women because this is important:
we are weapons of white supremacy; in fact, we are THE weapon of white supremacy
157
5K
19K
yeah sex is great but have you ever heard that little "prrrt" noise a cat makes when you wake them up by petting them?
93
4K
18K
@johnroderick
So I know this isn't an "Am I The Asshole" post but my guy you're the asshole
22
187
19K
How to make your story idea better
-make it gay
-gayer
-still gayer
-just a bit gayer
-is it set in space? why not? set it in space
-add dragons
-space dragons
-gay space dragons
this advice never fails believe me I am an expert
262
4K
18K
That tweet about bisexuals not being able to use f*g or d*ke is why I really worry about young queers who gained their "education" via the Tumblr mode of like, prizing validity over liberation, focusing on visibility rather than substantive change, ignoring historical contexts
82
3K
18K
I really want to see a picture of the dachshund and I hope this guy eats dirt unintentionally
486
882
18K
"my son is obviously struggling so as a parent it is my job to make sure he struggles more AITA"?
YES YTA
17
313
17K
Benefit of cat ownership
Me, hearing a noise at night: oh just the cat
Me, hearing a louder noise: oh just the cat
Me, hearing glass shattered & heavy footsteps: oh just the cat
Me, hearing demonic whispers: oh just the cat
Me, hearing Satan chanting my name: oh just the cat
74
5K
17K
My kid: what does "polyamory" mean?
Me: it can mean ppl who are in romantic relationships with more than one other person. why?
Her: I was telling my teacher we had a polyamory cat because I forgot the right word & she made a weird face.
Me: Polydactyl. The word is polydactyl
67
2K
16K
My 10-year-old kid just came home from school looking like she'd been to war like, slump-shouldered, sad-faced, head bowed
Me: what's wrong?
Kid: nothing
Me: seriously, what's going on?
Kid: [deep breath] WE WATCHED BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA TODAY AND WHAT THE HECK MOM WHAT THE HECK
183
2K
16K
J R R Tolkien: uhh no my epic fantasy was in no way inspired by World War I the hobbits are falling in trenches entirely by coincidence
42
645
15K
YOU CAN DO THESE TWO THINGS
1. Recognize the James Bond franchise is one rooted in imperialism, capitalism, misogyny & all the worst of 20th century British society
2. Happily bathe in the tears of white cis dudes who are self-destructing over a black woman playing 007
305
3K
15K
The entire concept of having a "work ethic" is a big capitalist lie.
28
651
14K