Ellie Bowen 🦋
@elliebow3n
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302
Following
236
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28
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My boss is a scummer and today I turned up to work 30 minutes late whilst wearing a Portsmouth shirt, as you can imagine he was well impressed
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It’s my 4th day at my new job tomorrow and it’s wear a sports shirt to work day, all 3 of my directors are scummers and I’ll be coming in wearing a Pompey top. Too soon?
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@campufc
You’re stronger than you believe. The world is a beautiful place with you in it and I know it may not look like it at the moment but believe me when I say there’s a way out and once you get to the other side, you’ll be stronger than EVER before. Hang on in there!
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Can’t stop saying COVID-19 the same way you’d sing come on Eileen
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Since COVID-19 the environment has been better than ever. As soon as restrictions have been lifted SLIGHTLY things are already slowly returning to unfortunately, what we call normal. There is literally no excuse for littering, use a bin or keep hold of it until you find one? Dins
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Mum and dad have won the postcode lottery and have film crew coming to the house lol I hope it’s a lot because I fully cba to work
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When someone says you can’t stroke a guide dog, ok but who’s going to see me?
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If you’re going to the pub when England are playing don’t bother washing your hair beforehand because as soon as they score you get a pint over your head 😊
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I feel so grateful to have a small piece of your mummy forever ❤️
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Weird flex but I actually love the smell of your skin after a sunbed
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I’m actually the biggest din, returned a parcel but forgot to attach the returns label so ending up posting it back to myself... what’s it like to have brain cells?
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Deciding whether to take the pill and be depressed (but not pregnant) or not take the pill and be spotty (and possibly pregnant) is a difficult decision, I fucking hate being a female
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Is this it? Depressed at work Monday to Friday, occasionally ruin your life on the weekend then repeat until you retire?
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Literally so excited for the Madeline McCann documentary to be put on Netflix
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What the fuck is wrong with people smoking whilst pregnant? If you can’t go without a fag for 9 months to benefit your child then should you really be having one? Probably not
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Attempting to make plans with Albie and the response I now get is ‘let me check the World Cup games’ I hate males 🙄
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‘You only have a period for one week a month so why are you a cunt the other 3’ my boyfriend 😍
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Can’t wait to have my own little family at Christmas, so much more exciting with kids
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These last couple of months have tested me like no other but we go again, the comeback is stronger than the setback. The rest of 2020 let’s fucking have ya 👊🏼
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Update: I got sacked 3 months later
It’s my 4th day at my new job tomorrow and it’s wear a sports shirt to work day, all 3 of my directors are scummers and I’ll be coming in wearing a Pompey top. Too soon?
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Nothing more infuriating than someone ignoring your messages when you know they’re on their phone
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Me and Albie are staying in a cockroach infested room. I’m a celebrity get me the fuck out of here
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How amusing is it when someone drops their friends for a boyfriend but as soon as they break up they have nobody that cares
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Sent my boyfriend a picture of a potential dress for my birthday and the response I got was ‘who’s that’ never mind who the model is you prick
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Imagine telling a customer in a wheelchair to ‘take a seat’ I fucking hate myself 😩
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I work at a prestige car dealership and our Christmas party is at Pryzm...
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Why can’t I go out and just have a few drinks? Instead I end up completely obliterated EVERY TIME
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You really don’t realise how important photos are until they’re the only thing (aside from memories) that you have left
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Being in a bikini 24/7 is just making me realise I need to sort my life out and stop being a fat fuck
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17:14 two of us have thrown up and one of us have pissed ourselves ✌🏼bank holiday fun
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Those girls that seem to forget about their friends as soon as they get a boyfriend 👋🏼
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Arrived in China and the first thing Albie said was ‘they all look like tamagotchi’s’ this kid 😂
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Imagine I’m at work and a customer walks into the showroom and I say ‘good afternoon Land Rover Portsmouth Ellie speaking’ as if I’m on the phone 😩
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Imagine Albie texting me about steak and blowjob day just as I’m showing my mum something on my phone 🤦🏼♀️
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Such a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, you don’t usually see it at the time but for sure you realise eventually
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Walking through Whiteley with Albie and he laughed in a little boys face probably no older than 7 because he was wearing a Southampton shirt and they lost 🙄
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The sky is such a weird colour today lol feels like I’m living in night shift mode
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Walking out of Sainsbury’s with a crate of beer in hand and the security guard went ‘essential I see’ absolutely
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A heart-breaking moment, as our relegation is confirmed.
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I’m literally the happiest little egg ever, life is beautiful and I feel very blessed
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@tomwinter111
And what’ve you done with your week Tom hun? Had a wank and played Xbox? Also, please don’t confuse Fareham with Gosport
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Labour will be in the lead until all the conservatives finish work
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Literally nothing better than people noticing the weight you’ve lost 😍
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Planned to go to the gym after work but forgot my shoes so I went home to get them but now I’m in bed and that just about sums up my life
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I am literally either completely heartless or hella sensitive and emotional, there really is no inbetween
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Actions speak louder than words is one of the truest statements ever made
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People actually visit places just to upload a photo to Instagram and it shows, pathetic behaviour
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‘The shower is well powerful’ ‘that’s good to know, I haven’t had sex in a while’
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Throwback to when I thought my cat had died and then she comes back months later like nothing happened
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Flat tyres? I could guarantee mine would have a lot more than flat tyres
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I reckon I’ve done my 5k just walking around Tesco today with their one way systems
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I’m actually absolutely buzzing to see Alex and Olivia’s wedding photos lol what is my life
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Fully aware it’s 07:16 in the morning but Jesus Christ I can’t wait to drink until my eyes bleed tonight
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Imagine a monkey pulling your bikini top down on the beach and exposing you to everyone 😳
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Can people stop nominating me now because I’m absolutely leathered
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Would you walk barefoot in this heat? No you wouldn’t so what makes you think your dog wants to?
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Being prone to water infections is actually the bane of my fucking life
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Always amusing when you give someone a taste of their own medicine and they don’t like it
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Why is deciding what to do with your life the most stressful thing ever
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Grief is the weirdest thing, hits you at the most unexpected times 🤯
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Seriously cannot wait to have kids of my own at Christmas 😍
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Is there anything more fucking disgusting than a male with long fingernails 😷
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Those that flash you to warn you of a speed camera are the people we need more of in the world
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Most irritating thing when you AND the car infront could easily both make the traffic lights but they decide to stop
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Getting a thumbs up from somebody passing by about my parallel park has made my morning hahaha
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You know that feeling when you’re going out with all the girls and you know it’s going to be a good night but also know it’s going to end terribly
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I swear people actually have no idea how much one thing can effect somebody 🙄
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I’ve taken my hair extensions out and my hair is horrendous, I’m actually contemplating joining in with the lads and shaving my head
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