capitano's cream puff
@eggnantfurina
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1,197
Following
686
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6,278
Statuses
65,188
an adult 🔞 + 🔕 • i'm a lesbian; i self-insert as neuvillette and want to put eggs inside of furina, actually
Joined October 2018
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Pinned Tweet
how hard is it for this fandom to understand "this person ascended to godhood, then took her own, newly-acquired divinity and put it in a machine, leaving behind her body and spirit. she lost all of her memories because her memories were attached to her divinity."
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"ur 31 put down the porn" who do u think porn is for exactly
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"five of the *current* seven" last time i checked zhongli retired and is no longer an archon. why is he being included 🤨
"Not counting Fuirna", that is some level of petty
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i can't believe hyv commissioned this like LMFAO
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not even allowed to fuck eldritch gods now. this is getting out of hand.
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"you're pushing 30 shouldn't you have children already" "stay away from children you proship freak" so which one is it, troglodytes?
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just noticed that whenever she sits..... yeah babe clutch that sovereign-granted vision
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what makes a man attractive is not his stupid face but his stupendous yearning and agonizing longing for one woman and one woman alone
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furina, 100 or so years after 4.2: wait, wasn't i actually supposed to age like a mortal now?
neuvillette, teyvat's god of life: 💦
furina: what did you do
neuvillette: 💦💦💦
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i actually like guizhong's canon design better than any of the fanon ones i've seen
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:p you will never ever guess what these folks ship
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"24, dni if 27+" how do u survive in the real world
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"who's your favorite character?"
kimberly: "lotor"
"who's your favorite side character?"
kimberly: "baby lotor"
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people with proship dni in bio: start following me, for some reason
me, opening up the kamisatocest and neynette tags:
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focarina: i have to stay quiet and not reveal my secret to ANYONE, not even the person i'm doing this for, unless i want fontaine to end up like khaenri'ah and/or remuria
y'all:
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thinking about how that sovereign-granted vision isn't just a reward and thank you for everything furina has done, but also the one way neuvillette can make sure celestia will never get their hands on furina and use her ever again
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ships where the man is such a pathetic ass loser that he'd start shaking crying throwing up, fall to his knees, lose his will to live and succumb to despair the moment the love of his life goes away
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neuvillette when furina first invited him to fontaine and he didn't speak the human language yet
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'luraaa are you still waiting for me in the afterliiife?
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can't relate, y'all stay safe tho ✌️
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"this isn't ship art btw" it is now that i've laid my eyes upon it
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"these two characters care about each other a lot and live together. it's a m/m pairing."
fandom: omg they're obviously fucking 😍
"these characters care about each other, co-rule a nation together even though they're meant to be mortal enemies, live together, travel together on
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i love my canon galra emperor/altean alchemist pairings
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starts his birthday mail by mentioning furina LOLLL
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"kaeluc is literal incest 😰😰😰" no it is not. stop erasing the efforts of us literal incest shippers!
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"my ship co-ruled a nation for 500 years" "wow [ship tag] [ship tag] shippers are SO delusional 😡" 😭?
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"nvfr are sibling-coded since they wear outfits that look similar 😡" no they're supposed to be this old japanese couple that upload their matching fits to instagram
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as much as i joke about neuvillette being het, i don't think he is. he is clearly and exclusively furinasexual
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f/f pairing: *has an in-game novel that parallels their relationship*
fandom: obviously canon!
m/f pairing: *has an in-game stage play that parallels their relationship*
fandom: if u think this counts as an implication u are delusional lmao!!!
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unemployed tiktok boymoms who browse the rival pairing's tag all day in order to find something to get mad about are throwing temper tantrums in the qrts for something they themselves do as well (hcing sige as OTP Of Choice's daughter), what a surprise
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"i called people pedophiles and homophobes for shipping a m/f ship between two 500 y/os, totally deserved, but now antis are coming after my m/m otp between a 500 y/o and a 25-30 y/o 😥" hahaha
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a video of furina actively avoiding neuvillette and sounding absolutely terrified of him
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me: hijacking an artist's ship art and making a joke at their expense is rude, especially when this artist might not even speak english
y'all: GENSHIN FANS HAVING NO READING COMPREHENSION AND BEING OVERLY SENSITIVE AGAIN IT'S A JOKE IT'S SATIRE WHY ARE U INFANTILIZING ASIANS
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when people use furina's trial as a gotcha against nvfr shippers when the sole reason that trial happened at all is because neuvillette sensed furina was hiding something from him and got upset she didn't tell him Absolutely Everything when he thought they did... 💀
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neuvillette canonically has an entire all-female sea slug dragon species consider him their father figure. we know what he acts like with a hypothetical daughter because he has tens of them. he doesn't treat furina the same as the melusines whatsoever lmfao
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canon wrio: hopes to impress furina with his finest tea selection
a large portion of wrio's fanbase: makes you wonder if you've been thrown back in time (special s/o to late '00s/early '10 shounen fandoms!) with how misogynistic they tend to get when the name furina is mentioned
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neuv, discussing how to trick furina into being put on trial: i'd like for our trap to not cause her any physical harm or emotional distress :(
neuv, having successfully tricked furina into being put on trial, but now being forced to read out her death sentence: 🧍
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the fact this pinned note is even needed lmfao. why does this fandom love to search out content they KNOW will upset them
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i love this kind of logic "if u love incest just admit it " hell yeah i have a fuckton of incest pairings and because of that i can reassure u that nvfr isn't one of them 🥰
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who needs canon when your fave's voice actor shares his thoughts on how he believes your otp is still endgame
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i'm fucking crying over people still arguing about this in the replies/qrts. yes, you clearly know better than the game itself. if u ever suffer from amnesia u are now ur "former" self's child.
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"bisexual people CANNOT reclaim the d-slur or the f-slur because those slurs are never used against them!" boy do i have some news for you baby radfems
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thinking about furina being one of my very few fave female characters who actually wants to start a family because That Is What Humans Do
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awww the key players of the fontaine aq are all crying in the sinner's finale cutscene 🥰
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random characters: hey furina maybe you should take on the role of--
furina: no
neuvillette: this role is perfect for you, furina
furina: omg maybe neuvillette is right...
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us: lotor is a textbook ravenclaw
clowns: NO he's slytherin because uhhh he's EVIL and a snake!
aj: lotor is a ravenclaw
i love validation!
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what i hope future leaks will look like:
"windblume festival
neuvillette goes to mondstadt to meet venti, but venti dodges him"
"inazuma literary festival
neuvillette goes to inazuma to meet ei, but ei dodges him"
"sabzeruz festival
neuvillette goez to sumeru to meet nahida, b
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#vlds8
EPISODE 13 SPOILERS they took literally EVERYTHING from allura. her planet, her family, her people, her father's AI, her boyfriend (the not-rebound/Incel Propaganda one), her castle, her powers, the clothes on her back, her crown, and in the end even her agency and life :)
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now this is the kind of neuvi and wrio interaction i approve of
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last year's lantern rite sure was a blast because the people who would constantly shit on my girl guizhong for shipping reasons (which still baffles me considering the fact that she is DEAD) suddenly claimed to be her biggest fans now that she was """confirmed""" to be a lesbian
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the person in the screenshot does nothing but try to start shit with the fandoms of m/f pairings all day lol
Nga you tell me😭 imagine getting mad abt people calling out misogyny but you are so insecure abt ur ships that you think it’s an attack on queer ships😢 This misogynist bs exists in all fandoms and the hoyoverse fandoms are definitely not immune to it😭
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twitter b like "the most important thing to being wlw is liking these squeaky clean fictional wlw ships first and foremost! actually liking women comes second"
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"people with a similar hair color are inbred" i love genshintwt. truly the gift that keeps on giving
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if we're going to pull shakespeare references out of our asses now then please allow me as well
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the game: focalors removed her divinity and memories from her body and put them in a machine. she named herself (the person without divinity and no memories) furina
the fanbase: how many furina puppets do u think focalors made before she succeeded with "our" furina?! 🤯
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if a female character is old enough for the majority of the fandom to consider her the mother of another character (a character her own age, no less), then she is old enough to engage in certain other activities that sometimes has people become mothers 🙏
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"wait s is older than w?!????" maybe if you lot actually paid attention while playing the game, and not only during those 2.5 interactions...
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neuvillette and zhongli haven't even interacted yet but it is already far superior to another m/m neuvillette pairing
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seeing
#them
go "omg our boy N has social anxiety and needs his big top W to function 🥺" re: 4.4 like what version of gi are y'all playing
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@vintagedinocore
even if he was, dude would want to please his goddess and partner first and foremost
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end Female Main Characters Ending Up Prizes For Male Characters For Maturing 2k18
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"what's wrong with us headcanoning these characters are family?! let people have fun! 😡 *uses own headcanons to attack people who ship the characters because how DARE you ship characters who are CLEARLY related (in my head)*"
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hyv: the main plot of this main quest is the hydro archon and hydro sovereign's relationship. the nature of their relationship affects the planet as a whole
twitter fanbase: u will ship any man and woman standing next to one another 😡😡😡
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"stop, he will hurt you!" ironically enough kova is the sole character in all of vld that never hurt lotor, remaining loyal to him until the bitter end :) waiting at the entrance of the rift for ancients know how long, waiting for his best friend to return :)
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"we can (possibly) ride dragons in natlan!!!" big fucking deal. furina was already riding a dragon back in fontaine
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furina: i want to live a normal human life and be an average human. the most normal human life ever lived
also furina: *marries one of the original world rulers who happens to be a dragon*
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what the fuck are these drinks. what is wrong with these two honestly
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"enough time has passed since we harassed and called the op on the left all sorts of names for making this thread-- let's hijack the thread for OUR ship!" you cannot make this up LMFAO 💀
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"ewww i looked up [pairing] and people actually make content of it wtf that's sickening 🤢" why r u looking up shit u don't like. lmao
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fandom: 😘🥰😍🥵🤯
"it's a m/f pairing."
fandom: 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
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haven't witnessed any fandom in-fighting but if u all say so
f0calette and nu3vifuri shippers hate each other?? thats so fucking funny actually
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"i'll tell my boyfriend, the highest judge in all of teyvat, that you are underpaying me and he will CHARGE you"
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i'm in tears
Can one of the w/n or n/w who stalks your retro let the others know that zine is using Furina’s insignia for their ship? Li… — LMFAO psa to anyone observing i guess................
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lesbians can only ship f/f and only have wholesome coffee shop, high school/college and tattoo parlor/flower shop AUs where the furthest the soft and tender women go is holding hands 🥺
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tweet this stevenson art of entrapta and hordak getting married to scare spop fans
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