I lost the ability to write for 5 years, not knowing jack if I could ever get it back. The damage my brain suffered originally was so severe, even my doctors were positive the loss was permanent. The science pointed to it. I was suicidal daily, because I thought it was all over.

I’m naturally headstrong but here I was weak AF. I didn’t even want to know, or listen. I just didn’t want to feel the pain. Weak AF.

Don’t get me wrong. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I still wanna spend forever with you. You are the love of my life- nothing will ever change that. But why did you do this to us? Why did you choose to hurt me? And why the flying fuck did I let it slide?.

And now we’re prisoners of our own sins and mind games. Now I have to recover from two things and I find that deeply heartbreaking. I just wanted love. I wanted a safe place to love others and be loved by them all the same. Not this. How can I heal from this?.

Why did I let this happen to us? Or correction: why did I look past the fuckups? Clearly they were bigger than I remember, but I’m a fuckin coward and maybe that’s the problem. I’m sorry but I think I should’ve left a long time ago. And yes, even through the love. 💕.

I feel like I’m on the precipice of another panic attack several times every day. I hyperventilate constantly. I’m not handling this crisis very well, am I.

I feel better already.

I have absolutely no discipline. You’d have to force my hand to get me to stop.

RT @gmanews: The Southwest Monsoon continues to bring rains across the country as PAGASA continues to monitor a Tropical Storm (formerly Ja….

My heart is racing. I’m feeling so much all at once. I’m emotional AF. It’s the total opposite of my panic attacks. I’m happy but this is beyond happy. I don’t know what to say.

Craving processed cheese hotdogs and meatloaf, and the chicken adobo down the street. There have been so many accidental expenses lately so we can’t afford the usual meals. We cook at home now.

Just another day of telling my mother and @AlexJHodgson they’re both right.

I lost weight. My favorite corduroy pants are now too big for my hips. Hallelujah!.

Joy. We’ve run out of bananas.

Holding on to my sadness and rage isn’t helping. Besides, they only fuel my panic attacks. Sure, I’ve been betrayed, and it’s especially loathsome, but now I have to make the next step and move on. Stars, give me strength.

RT @A_Musing_Arts: I have to agree, what are your thoughts?

The heck am I looking at?.

RT @colossal: Meet Romulus & Remus—the world’s first de-extinct animals brought back from extinction using DNA from 72,000-year-old fossils….

I don’t trust ladies’ men anymore.

RT @drjenwolkin: Psssssst: ADHD is NOT a trend. It’s all haha and funny when we talk about taking screenshots, and open tabs, but the patho….