JIlllllll
@dummyjig
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I’m being dead serious.
Y’like apples?
Joined April 2013
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Heard my neighbor wretch loudly for 1 full minute then put on Imma Be by the Black Eyed Peas
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Like we have a PLAGUE rn??? With what to show for it artistically????? Bo Burnham???????
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The coolest thing you can do under the age of 20 is sit on a roof
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Hey so did Armie Hammer eat someone? I feel like we got distracted.
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If someone shot me in the face i’d catch the bullet w my perfect natural dick sucking lips and then spit it back full speed
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this fit goes apeshit
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U could not do Mythbusters now it would be political and I’m serious
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Tonight a boy looked me directly in the eyes and asked if i ever heard of soulja boy
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I’m so impressed by how quickly and thoroughly Horny Twitter pivoted to Protest Twitter fuck yeah
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lotsa “i literally took up fingerpainting, maybe look harder” comin in
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boys will show u an anime character like “he’s the most powerful warrior of all time” and the character has onions for hands
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any time a white man tries to argue with you just say “Okay Mackelmore”
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had a dream about boy...woke up w my hair curled into a heart?? bro let my voodoo doll GO
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3k bad bitches now follow me. lmk if u wanna b friends but only if ur a woman and beautiful
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should i sue
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ADHD/ADD is when u accidentally spend hours in ur bathroom just standing
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what is the scientific method if not fucking around and finding out
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It’s not that Butterflies have “pretty privilege” over moths. A butterfly never broke into my house.
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thinking about the endless passage of time ! very cool very terrible
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I went on a date last week and he had no clue who Alexander Graham Bell was. It was such a stupid thing but i instantly knew i was never going to talk to him again. How ironic
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if u call this The bird app, this hellsite , or tweeter, take ur arthritis meds.
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walk into the gym, juicy tracksuit, REEKING of weed. Don’t warm up. Squat 1000lbs. Sit in the car for an hour
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i’m vegan except for horse meat so i can get trace amounts of ketamine
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cars should not be so easy to fuck up. Let me hit things for one second i’m nervous
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tiddies just there not doin shit but it’s like a celebrity sighting every time. Even if ur not attracted to women you see tiddies and it’s like 👀 oh! word, some tiddies 👍🏼
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Am i flirting? Or do i just pick up mens idiosyncrasies, make small inferences, and bully them in a personalized way that actually makes them feel understood but not vulnerable?
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Just remembered i once drunkenly crawled under the floor of my ex’s dorm
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i’m wearin a plaid mini skrt, real Mean Girl hours. Respond 2 this if u want me 2 roast u
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Kanye, in his zone: I specifically told you not to let me get here
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jewish ppl have the funniest relationship w jesus “He was cool im not dickriding tho.”
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What if instead of moaning men did the Perry the Platypus nnmquququququ noise
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